Thursday, March 08, 2012

El Talismán #26 Wed 3/7/12 The Najera Freaky Friday ... Miss KooKoo with the rope in the bedroom... and the poisoned pig's tantrums



Recap by Marta Ivett


This is going to have to be short and quick, life and work are getting in the way today and I am pretty exhausted, have another meeting at 6am with India staff.
Tony: I need a hired murderer…
Rennie and Elviral on phone… talking about where to celebrate the ‘engagement’.
Elviral looks like she is the younger sister of Flo and Fab…
That emerald shirt looks good on Rennie, have to say.
Panchito tells Tracy she is right, Tony and Lookray are not trustworthy, but he won’t back off now, now when he is so close to have his father recognize him publicly… the day will come when he can shout to everyone he is also a Negrete.
He puts pressure on Tracy to accept him as her boyfriend… careful, by the time I am a Negrete I might tire of your ‘no’s.
Tony keeps manhandling Panchito in front of Valentin.
Tony wants Panchito to spy on him at ElTal…
Spy about what? … about the avocado crops… or maybe about the rain fall levels at Fresno  … about Camila, about her relationship with Pedro… what else?
Pedro very charming/gentlemanny with Camila… Lookray gets another ‘oopsie!’ .. seems she cut the wrong rubber tube in the Viejita, it won’t even start on Pedro so he and Camila just switch cars to the new Silver Silverado… Pedro and Camila look at ‘la viejita’ and reminisce on their first meeting, when he MISSED running over her… Bite your nails, Lookray and try try again!!
Valentin remembers what Antonio asked him, ‘if you can’t kill my wife, I will find someone who will’.
Panchito wants to talk to Valentin in private, but he has to take Pigorio to the matasanos… Pigorio wants Panchito to find out what happened to Camila’s mom, he needs to locate Elviral…
What is going on here?? Suddenly Panchito is wearing a sign over his head that reads ‘P.I. for hire’?
Fab and ‘Armando’… he clearly is feeling things for Fab… not so for Flo…
Camila and Elviral, Camila tries to reason with her mom about not being able to go to her ‘engagement dinner’, Pedro is very supportive of a very deflated Camila.
Pigorio at Matasanos… he insists that his stomach / nausea issue is the pills the matasanos prescribed for him, gets angry and loud ‘que otra cosa puede ser?? DIGAME!!’
Suddenly Pigorio has a lightbulb flash moment… could someone be poisoning me?? Pigorio insists and Matasanos insists that the medicine has nothing to do with stomach upset, not evel secondary effects…
Antonio mad at Lookray on phone, he is mad and heading for ElTal.. but first he has to deal with Doris who listened in his call with Lookray… Doris mocks him that he can’t have Camila because the ‘little fox’ is going with Pedro!... (careful, Doris, or you will look like port wine swiss cheese!
Camila and Elviral arguing… Since Camila prefers to go with Pedro, he needs her, Elviral does not want Rennie to find out Camila is with Pedro… yada yada, these two do nothing but argue.
Rennie and Rita talk about Tracy having to come cook… Rennie tells Rita Tracy will come because he had a ‘talk’ with her and she fears him now.. so she will come (out of fear? Really?) careful, Rennie, she will come with a bodyguard… a nose picking bodyguard to sicken the heck out of Elviral and anyone else in that ‘party’…
Tracy with Domitila… Tracy wants to see if Pedro will hire her, she wants to leave Rennie… Rennie is actually a dangerous man… She is afraid Meester Renato will report her illegal aunt.
Rennie calls Tracy’s cell phone… she doesn’t want to answer.. but Domi convinces her. Rennie tells Tracy to come.. have to prepare a ‘dinner party’ for him and Elviral… ‘you don’t want us to have some trouble, or do you?’…
Camila and Elviral STILL arguing by pool… ‘mom, you barely know him!’ ‘it’s my engagement night and it is your duty to be there with me!’  anyone would say that Camila is the mom and Elviral is the young teen obsessed with her first love…
Doris keeps pulling the strings on Antonio… danger Will Robinson!! Danger!!...  Doris insists Antonio should forget Camila.. ‘what is my husband missing that Pedro has in spades? … oh yeah! .. (surely its not a bigger belt buckle! ) MANHOOD! Because he is a real MAN!!’ … Run, Doris! Run!! .. you just woke the beast (from the killer stare he just gave you, I would be running around the block by now!)
Lookray brags to Patricia that Antonio is coming to visit her…
Back at Traz, The beast is awake and threatening Doris… Doris switches from threats to begging, and all she gets is that he grabs her hard by chin… he claims all she wants from him is sex… but she sickens him, and that is why he will divorce her… and with that he leaves, she sighs defeated.
Camila and Elviral still arguing… ‘choose between your dirty rancher or your mother’… …
(Elviral look so odd, with a dress that is more for girls half her age, a bling necklace and that ridiculous black bow on her head that makes her look like she is Camila’s daughter, not her mother.  Elviral gives her ultimatum… ‘if you don’t come to the dinner, you can forget you have a mother’… (is it really that important for Elviral to make sure her twenty-something daughter eats?)
Antonio arrives at ElTal, Patricia and Lookray are the only ones there so Lookray mocks Patricia telling Antonio that Patricia had said that if he showed up she would kick him out herself… Both Antonio and Lookray mock patricia and waltz in the house as if they were the owners… Once alone in the ‘guest’ bedroom, Antonio roughly sermons Lookray about failing to keep Camila and Pedro apart… where did they go? How long are they going to be away?  WHO KNOWS, but what are you going to do? … surely something more effective than your bright ideas…
Pedro very supportive of a very upset Camila… (Pedro, you are way too nice)  she tells him turns out there is a dinner party tonight to announce her engagement… and the ultimatum her mom gave her…   why today? She is doing moral blackmailing!... Camila wants to go with him but Pedro knows she really doesn’t want to end up fighting with her mom. In truck on the way, Pedro insists he knows she wants to go to the dinner party so he will drive her back to Fresno.
On phone, Antonio arranges with someone, apparently to crate fake newspaper articles that incriminate Pedro with his wife’s dissappearance…
In comes Pigorio and asks him flat out ‘are you the one trying to kill me??’ Antonio plays clueless… could it be yourself with all the poison you have accumulated all these years? …  Pigorio is willing to spend a fortune in finding out who is behind ‘all this’…  Antonio wonders if Lookray dared to spill the beans…
Panchito keeps down playing the warnings from Tracy about Rennie…  tonight we will find out the secret of why Mister Rennie wants to marry Elviral.
Elviral calls Armando and plays the victim again.. .i need you tonight, tell me you will accept Renato.
Tracy tells Panchito tonight you will have to stay with me… for pow wow? Asks a hopeful Panchito… Tracy says ‘easy boy!, need a server for the dinner party of Missy Elviral’
Armando, as Jose, meets up with Flo and is brutally honest with her… ‘I am leaving’…
She is very upset, and the leaves in a huff’ don’t want to see you ever again!’
Pedro laughs in truck, tells Camila they look like a married couple arguing all the time..
Antonio barges on Valentin, surely you told ‘mi mapa’ about the pills!... Valentin tells him that Pigorio will suspect him anyway… It occurs to Antonio to blame this ‘poisoning attempt’ on Pedro as well… Pigorio sends Alberta to ElTal and asks her to tell Lookray to call him… then he thinks ‘maybe we can make a deal’…
Pigorio runs into Alberta and asks about panchito… he gets mad when she tells him Panchito left…Pigorio says ‘I am the lord of this house, everyone HAS to follow my every order!’ why did Panchito go the city? … Alberta tells Pigorio it was because Tracy asked him.. and Pigorio comments on ‘what a man in love is capable of doing for a woman’…
At hotel, Elviral admires her ‘engagement dress’… at least I had money to break in a new dress for the party tonight… Armando arrives and she continues the ‘victim play’ in front of him.
At some restaurant/ cafetin, Pedro brings up the subject of the gambling bet on ElTal… Do you really think I won ElTal from your dad in a poker hand? We need to clear that up. It was not me, it was Pigorio who won ElTal from your dad. By the time I got there, he had aleady lost ElTal to Pigorio and I entered the game and won it from Pigorio.
At ElTal, Lookraze is playing ‘krazed enough to look for suicide’ on Claudio at the stables… Claudio looks like he feels pity for her listening to her say she would prefer to be dead if she can’t have Pedro…
At Rennie’s (?) kitchen, Tracy insists to Panchito that Meester Rennie is malo… Panchito brushes it off as a joke that Rennie would say he would denounce her family to the INS. She tells Panchito she will leave soon, she is afraid of him… and to think Missy Elvira will be my boss.. I would rather leave, matter of fact I am leaving very soon… Panchito says the one that will have a field day with the news that Elvira will get married is Pigorio…
Flo arrives home upset and Doris does not let Alberta go with her, she gets a bucket of ice water on her face when Flo tells her she does not trust her enough to talk to her about it… Eventually Doris figures out that this is a heartbreak, gives her advice ‘it is not worth it to dry for a man, don’t make the mistake I made, don’t fall in love like I did with your dad’… (sound mother advice … NOT!)
Elviral plays victim with Armando about Camila not coming to her ‘engagement party’.
Claudio calls Pedro about Lookray looking to kill herself. Pedro asks to speak to Tia FGWW.
Lookrazia is madly looking for a way to kill herself, hey! It’s Miss Nuttso in the bedroom with the rope (wanna play clue anyone?)
Valentin says it would be hard to blame Pedro since Pedro has no access to ‘traz… Antonio switches back the focus to getting the blood work results of Pigorio’s before the doctor gets them…
In his bedroom said Pigorio is wondering if someone wants to poison him.. .suddenly the shot glass of whiskey he was downing seems to taste very very bitter, calls for Valentin and then wonders if he could trust this ‘desgraciado’…
Such ‘desgraciado’ is just being bought out by Antonio (both money and a promise that will compensate him when he gets to be the owner of ‘traz..) into agreeing to get the blood work results… (money speaks loud and clear…)
Camila gets a little stupid and wants to spoil the nice time with Pedro by asking if he wants to go back to ElTal because of Miss Nuttso… he insists in going back to Elviral’s party… but she shows the jealous fever again, so he says we don’t have to go back… ‘I would go anywhere with you’… Camila reminds Pedro Elviral can’t stand him even in pictures, and Pedro says ‘well, she will have to start getting used (to me) what can we do? (good answer Pedrito!!) ’…
Previews: apparently another eventful ‘party’… while at ‘traz there is war declared between the ‘traz pigs…
Btw, in case anyone intersted, Abismos de Pasion starts next Monday!!

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Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Abysm / Abyss of passion, new show starts Monday

It appears we have a new show starting on Monday. Anybody want to recap it? If we don't get volunteers, we'll just give it a pass. BTW my choice is correct, just ancient [via Old French from Medieval Latin abysmus = abyss]

Augusto Castañón and Estefanía Bouvier de Castañón are Elisa's parents. Carmina lives with them but plans to flee the town with Rosendo Arango (Alfonsina's husband, Damián's father), Alfonsina finds out and warns Augusto.

Estefanía tries to dissuade Rosendo from abandoning his family, but an automobile accident ends both their lives, so Carmine's able to convince Augusto that his wife had been unfaithful to him.

Augusto, disgusted, decides to marry Carmina though he does not love her. Alfonsina decides to send Damián away from the town to study (in order to separate him from Elisa, his dear friend, upon whom Alfonsina does not gaze with friendly eyes).

Years later, Damián comes back, now an adult and enaged to be married to Florencia Landuchi, whom he met while studying in Italy.

Paolo Landuchi, Florencia's uncle, is drawn by Elisa's beauty, but since she doesn't pay him no mind, he tries to rape her with Carmina as his accomplice. However, when Paolo is about to achieve his objective Damián appears, punches out his lights and saves Elisa.

Damián falls in love with Elisa and vice versa, so his old friend Gael becomes his enemy; Gael has also loved Elisa since he was a boy.

Augusto finds out about the relationship between Damián and Elisa, and haunted by memories of the betrayal of Rosendo and Estefanía, he frightens Elisa by threatening to kill Damián. Desperate, determined to protect the man she loves, Elisa agrees to marry Gael despite the great misery this causes her friend Paloma González who has always been crazy in love with him.

At the moment Gael and Elisa stand before the alter, Damián ...

In this land, sins are not forgiven and the past is not frogotten. Submerge yourself in the abysm of passion.

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Una Familia Con Suerte #153-154 Wed 3/7/12 Chela cooks up a storm to find a way to Pancho's heart.

The flurry of half-baked subplots is getting on my last nerve. The show has gotten so random!

Vince promises Candy he only said he'd sell her to Napoleon in order to "gain time." He wants to talk to Napoleon directly, to find his weaknesses. "He has no weaknesses," Candy says. She frowns at the little red box containing a whopper of a diamond ring. She's afraid. To distract her, Vince asks about the future. She wants ten children! She's worried for Vince, not herself. He shows his muscles.

At the dinner table, Pancho says "Chela and I are going to try." The kids are surprised but cautiously positive.

Cheeto and Rebeca, at a fancy restaurant, talk about moving to Miami together. She doesn't look very happy about it. They'll visit Eastern Europe. Or Alaska! Or Africa! She won't kiss him on the lips ... but Pancho, who's been dancing nose to nose with Chela, does kiss his starry-eyed cunis on the lips. We yawn.

Fer and the Doc spent an elegant evening dancing to Agustin Lara. She's been so close to death, she doesn't think about it, but enjoys every moment. He has a cute plan: let's run out of the restaurant without paying! Oh how much fun! It makes me mad. (Later he goes back and pays.)

Enzzo dreams about previous Chela snoggings but Moni rains on his daydream: Pancho and Chelo "are going to give it a try." She consoles him sweetly.

Pancho arrives at work talking all whispery/scratchy and pretentious, in a mafia outfit (black shirt, white tie), hair slicked back. Mike arries in a white hat and leather jacket talking funny too. Are they trying to talk like each other? Fail. Enter Rebe dressed like Chela in a frumpy apron talking slang and chewing gum. Oh, of course, it was Pancho's ugly nightmare.

Tomas looks worse than ever when Pepe visits him in jail and slips him money (I guess to bribe the bad guys). Tomas gives money to the thugs but it doesn't turn them friendly.

At college (I thought they'd all quit going) Lupe and Ana do a dull rehash. Lupe feels a little something for Tomas now that he is so hideous...

Freddy meets some prof from UCLA who wants to offer a teaching position.

Ines visits Vince at work. She demands whiskey. She has a solution to their problems: kill Fernanda! Vince screams no! But she says sooner or later Fer will find out Pancho is her son, and she doesn't want him getting his mitts on her dough.

The lawyer Mendoza finally got the security tapes; Pancho invites his daughter to come see them. Pancho sets the table and lays out the tortas and fondly viewing his lunch, decides he should stop calling Chela (who, blegh, put a lovey-dovey-valentine in the torta) his cunis.

Once again the papparazzi published pictures of Mike and Rebe together. Enzo tells Rebe: Chela and Pancho will "formalize their relationship." She says she always knew it! They commiserate.

What? There's a new show "Abyss of Passion" starting Monday?

Ines calls Fer with a fake friendly voice but scary music plays. "I'm so sorry for what happened in Germany, I want to ask your pardon in person - how about tonight?" Fer reluctantly agrees. Ines: "How was my acting?" She preens, Vince says she deserves an Oscar. He's warming to the idea of his aunt's death.

Mike comes in. Ines hits him with her stick for the things he's said that were bad for the stock value. What did he say? Was it when he said he's a felon? Or that the Belle Face stock is overvalued? That Ines was in a coma? She demands his resignation. Vince is happy Mickie is taking Rebe off to Miami because it will hurt Pancho.

Just when I think Candy's dresses couldn't get any more extreme, they do. She shows Fer and Chela the huge diamond ring Napoleon sent.

I don't think the security footage was very definitive, it just showed - a woman in sunglasses - but everybody there is pleased.

Lupe tells her dad: "Don't do it (try it on with Chela). You'll hurt our aunt. You love Rebeca." He compares his situation to hers with Tomas.

Sandra is friendly to Candy because she's in love with Chacho now. She gives Candy an "urgent" envelope to give Vince. When she hands it to him it bursts into tiny flames. Vince is terrified. Candy douses it with his water bottle. He applauds. The mystery woman Debora calls him saying: "This was just a test."

Candy tells Vince she wants him out of danger, so they should end their relationship forever. She leaves crying.

Pancho and Rebe face off: each claims not to care what the other is doing. "When are you resigning?" "As soon as possible." He goes to a sidewalk florist to distract himself by getting flowers for his new squeeze - but not red roses (that flower is for Rebe)...

Candy packs a suitcase poorly in preparation for fleeing. She leaves the diamond ring behind and gets on a bus.

Turns out Fer doesn't believe Ines is coming to bury the hatchet (except maybe in her skull) so she's glad the Doc offers to be at the meeting with her - the meeting Inez is cheerfully preparing for by brandishing a bottle of potassium poison.

Freddy's thinking over his future when his mom calls. Then Ana comes in, all sad because her career is over (because she visited her brother when he seemed to be dying). Freddy valiantly offers to buy all the cds. Now she's sorry she dropped out of college.

For this special first-night-of-being-Pancho's-girlfriend, Chela made every single food she knows how to make, the board is groaning. Everyone's talking. Vince arrives shouting for Candy. He tells them she took her suitcases and left after the letter bomb went off and Napoleon's woman called to say "things won't be so innocuous next time." Neither Vince nor Pancho knows what innocuous means but they know things are bad.

Sandra's father is in a diabetic coma in the hospital. Tell me why we care about this? She and Chacho distract themselves by going to some pretty place and putting fake flowers on their heads. Chacho doesn't drink because his dad was an alcoholic and died of cirrhosis.

Debora tells Napoleon: Candy's phone is still bugged and they can find her any time. While Candy calls home to say nobody can know where she is, Debora hops in the van to get her.

Freddy tells his dad he's been offered the job in L.A. but isn't going to go because of Ana. Pancho arrives and he and Vince yell at each other. Afterwards Vince reminds Freddy that when Ana wanted to make her cd she abandoned Freddy in a second, so he should do the same now!

Rebeka tells Fernanda she's leaving with Mike. Fer says this is the biggest mistake she could make - "You're running away, it won't solve your problems. You don't love Mike."

Fer is at the restaurant of death. Octavio hasn't come with her for some reason. Inez pats the potassium poison in her pocketbook and tries to smile at Fer without cracking her facelift.

Pancho tells Chela they should stop sleeping in separate beds.

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El Talismán #25 Tue 3/6/12 In Which We All Discover It's Not a Good Idea to Eat Avocados Before Bed


We open on a blissful Pedro and Camila, playing huggybear kissyface by the verdant pool. (The verdant pool at last!) They seem to have more than recovered from their respective hissy fits of the previous evening. Lots of I love you, I adore you, you’re such a cutie, I’m so lucky to have you, this is perfect, etc. This scene goes on way too long, but Blue Lass doesn’t mind as she is meditating by the pool.
Pedro tells Camila he has a surprise for her, pops a blindfold on her and leads her through the trees…to a table set with champagne for two and flanked by a mariachi band in full battle regalia. The band breaks into a very creditable rendition of the “qué mujer” song, Pedro pours the champagne, and…Camila spies something shiny in the bottom of her glass. Presumably it’s a ring, because Pedro’s talking marriage and Camila’s talking oh-goody-goody, which is too bad because they’re drowning out the mariachis. And she seems kind of inappropriately excited, seeing as he’s already married and…
Oh. Blue Lass has had a long day with way too many meetings and not nearly enough caffeine, but she finally cottons on. This is a dream, isn’t it? But whose? Oh wake up wake up wake up…
No such luck. Now we’re in a church and the not-so-dynamic duo are all trussed up in their boda togs and tied together with a big ol’ rope o’ pearls. (Blindfolds, restraints…anybody else starting to detect a little bondage undercurrent here?) This scene goes on way too long as well – even in actual boda sequences, they never get all the way through the vows before a gun goes off somewhere, but here we’re treated to the whole thing. Yawn! Blue Lass chants a few Hail Marys to the very nice Virgen de Guadalupe on the wall. Querida Virgencita, haven’t we suffered enough?
Guess not. Now they’re waking up in bed and giving each other an incredibly wholesome you’re-my-favorite-plush-toy look. Camila reveals she’s expecting. How did that happen? You have to do more than just hug it real tight and gaze into its little button eyes, you know. Never mind. Now we’re dissolving ahead to Camila, about 48 months pregnant, squealing over little tiny baby clothes with Tracy and Sarita. Blue Lass is trying hard to find something to zone out on, but it’s just the same old Flintstone lamps and other bolted-down El Tal decor.
Cut to Pedro manfully riding a horse through the enchanted forest. Oh noes! Here comes Pigorio on another steed, looking…well, like he usually looks. But this time he has a gun! He raises it and fires! Pedro topples to the ground! Now we know it’s a dream, because in Real Alternate Fresno no action sequence could possibly occur without at least 45 minutes of conversation.
Wake up wake up wake up…
Antonio walks in on the hen party, looking muy grave. I have bad news, Camila. Try not to fall apart. They…they’ve killed Pedro. Camila flings herself into his arms, or at least as close as she can get around the prop basketball she’s got under her dress. NO NO NO NO NO. She’s a good little crier. Maybe this is Antonio’s dream…?
Cut to commercial. Blue Lass and the telenovela cat gape at the clock incredulously. Blue Lass starts to suspect this might be her dream. Who does she have to pinch to make it stop?
We return from Concha-Nacar-Land to…a reprise of the Antonio-delivers-the-bad-news scene, bringing a new depth of meaning to the term no puede ser. Finally, finally, finally, seventeen minutes into the episode, somebody jumps out of bed, gasping…and it’s Camila, fully dressed in the middle of the afternoon! ¡Qué pesadilla! What a nightmare! That’s what I get for taking a nap in my push-up bra!
Unfortunately, it’s pretty much downhill from here. No, really.
Back in Real Alternate Fresno, Pedro and Camila are…talking. I’m going back to Tijuana to pay my respects, and I want you to go with me. Um, I’m not sure. Well, if you don’t come, I may not return. Okay!
Cut to Loocrazy and Elvis Farmhand…talking. Señorita, are you okay? Nobody ever asks me how I am – you’re nice! I’m nice coz I recognize the sadness of unrequited love. Who are you in love with, lil’ hound-dog? Your niece! OK, I’ll help you – I know all about this stuff.
At the Only Hotel Inn™, Marmota and the Windup Boy are…talking. Wooty-woot-woot, that Renato sure has a lot of cool stuff. Enough with the boy-crazy, Mom, help me try on some disguises here.
Up in the Camila shrine, Geno has been raiding the closet and is actually showing a little bit of lace (although from the waist down, she’s all D’Artagnan.) They’re – guess what? – talking. Are you sure about this TJ jaunt? Oh totally! Your Mom will plotz. Yeah, maybe I won’t tell her – she’s real busy with her imaginary boyfriend, anyway.
Now here’s Rennie and Rita, standin’ around talkin’. You really gonna marry that old bag? Yes, and ASAP – in fact, as soon as you give me your ring. Okay, but I want it back later. I’ll buy you lotsa rings, squeezebox. Yummy!
Back at the flophouse, a red paper bag arrives for Elvira. It’s a ring and a mash proposal note. She squeals like a prairie dog: I’m getting married; I can’t believe it! Yo, Mom, I can’t believe it either – you hardly know this guy, and there’s something funny about him. Oh, go back to playing dress-up and don’t be such a whiny puppy.
On the beer-spattered veranda of the Monkey House, Antonio and Doris wind up another mediation session with the usual threats, and Antonio collars Valentín for some mano-a-mano…conversation. That ol’ ball-and-chain has me thinking I’d rather be a widower than a divorcé – howzabout you kill her for me? Dude, I don’t do that kind of work anymore. All right then, go find me a hired killer – jeez.
In the El Tal barn, Pedro runs into Loocrazy. Better find another place to live, girl, coz I want you gone by the time I get back from TJ – and I mean that in the nicest possible way. Take me with you! Nope, I’m taking Camila. Poor poor poor crazy me; what shall I do? And by the way, Loopy-lu, I’m going to ask her to marry me, and it seems like a great idea to tell you before I tell her. Awesome, let me go grab my wirecutters and celebrate…under the hood of your truck.
We close on Loocrazy snipping what she assumes to be the brake lines of La Viejita and muttering that she’d rather see Pedro dead than married. The terrorist twins seem to have internalized a marriage-or-death dichotomy that is not entirely healthy-minded -- but at least it's plot! Blue Lass is happy. Wait: it's really still just talking about plot. Blue Lass is sad again. She sobs quietly into the fur of the telenovela cat and drifts off to sleep…oh, the verdant pool…the verdant pool…

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La Que No Podía Amar #50 Tuesday 3/6/12 Tears, Shrieking, and an Angry Man in a Black Cowboy Hat

LQNPA - March 6, 2012, Cap 50

UPDATE: My Internet is back, I've had some rest, I have a nice bottle of Coca Cola at hand which has energized me, and have now fleshed out this recap a little bit. Put a fork in it, it is done.

I know, I know, that title could fit just about any episode of LQNPA!

I had a long tiring day, and only half-watched LQNPA as I was capturing it to my computer. I am now waiting for the video to process so I can watch it for real and get my screencaps. In the meantime, I do have some vague memory of what happened, and have a downloaded version of the episode which I saw previously. So until I can get my butt in gear and write a more detailed recap (which won't be that detailed because I am tired and lazy, and let's face it, this was a total bummer episode) here is a screencap from the downloaded episode.

Rohell looks impactado at the news of Fed's sudden death. 


Here's an overview of what happened tonight:

* La Vaca withholds Fed's pills, screaming at him to denounce Cupcake. He doesn't do so, so she watches as he expires on the floor.

* Vainessa and Sinthia are talking on the phone. Kvetching about the Cupcake being dad's bastarda. They learn that Rohell is hell on wheels bent to recapture his errant Cupcake at Boring del Cielo. They wish there was a way to throw him off the scent. David, who is sitting with Vainessa, pipes up and says, "I know someone there." He later calls Juan and they set things up.

* Tia MentiRosa decides she's now "too good" to hang out with her jewelery-selling friend, Elena. She dumps Elena, citing that her new, more elevated social circle won't accept Elena. Elena leaves, angry, but not before telling Tia off.

Tia gives Elena the old heave-ho.

* How many hours or minutes despues, I don't know, but Vainessa is told to come home and returns to see her dad still ON THE FLOOR, DEAD. Everyone stands around and watches as she cries over her DEAD FATHER who is STILL LYING ON THE SAME SPOT ON THE FLOOR, but no Mexican version of 911 has been called, no medical professionals are at the scene, nothing. There is talk of the undertaker coming to cart the body away. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Please don't tell me this is normal for Mexico, or anywhere. Even my industrial strength beanie is having trouble with this one.

She comes home, to see her father comfortably lying on the floor, where he has been assuming room temperature for however long. Hours? How much longer would they have let him lay there? Until he started to decompose? Seriously, that is MESSED UP.

Meanwhile, Cupcake is getting concerned because her phone calls to her Papi are not being answered. Little does she know that her dad's cell phone is ringing with her calls . . . the cell phone which is in the pocket of the shirt of her dad's gradually cooling body, which is STILL LYING ON THE DARN FLOOR!!!!

* Back at the hacienda, Sin and Maria are talking about how Rohell has gone off to retrieve Cupcake himself. Dany comes in and wants to see Miguel. A shrewish, completely unsympathetic Sin says no, because it's too late in the evening. Sin then gets a call from David, telling her of the news of Fed's death.

Sin is impactada to hear of Fed's death.

* Rohell yells at the ever-faithful Hugo when their truck gets stuck in the mud on the way to Boca del Cielo. Eventually they get there, though.

It's dark by the time Rohell and Hugo finally arrive in Boring del Cielo. (As an aside, for some reason I was surprised that vehicles in Mexico use the same handicapped logo thing as we here in the USA do. I just never thought about it before. Rohell's truck's license plate, naturally, has a handicapped exemption.)

* Cupcake and MentiRosa are both distressed at the news of Fed's sudden death. Cupcake because he papa died, MentiRosa because her meal ticket died.

* La Vaca claims that Fed died because she couldn't get him his pills in time. (Lying vaca!) Then she goes on to blame Cupcake for all of this, as if Cupcake's appearance is what did Fed in. Vainessa buys into this and the two shrews spend most of the rest of the episode shrieking about how this is all Cupcake's fault.

* Bad guy fisherman Juan is on hand to lie to Rohell when he goes to Cupcake's hotel to ask if she's there. Juan then tells Cupcake that a mutual friend (she assumes it's Bruno) had him send off her husband on a wild goose chase to some other town with a name I will not even attempt to spell.

Rohell arrives at Cupcake's hotel and starts to ask for her . . .

Lying fisherman Juan tells Rohell that he gave Cupcake a ride to a different town...

. . . and Rohell leaves after throwing lying Juan a wad of bills.

* Rohell doesn't find Cupcake but vows to keep looking and orders his men to keep looking. He suspects that something was not right about not being able to find her in Boca del Cielo. He returns to the hacienda, sans Cupcake, and is shocked to hear of the news of Fed's death.

He notices that Maria is wearing black. She informs him that Fed has died, which shocks and saddens him. I want to bring up something here—he asks Maria why she's wearing black. I thought that was funny question coming from a guy who ALWAYS wears black! (A side note: Compare the HD screencap here with the non-HD screencap above from this same scene. Big difference in clarity, huh?)

* At Fed's funeral, MentiRosa makes a spectacle of herself hovering over Fed's coffin and caressing his picture. La Vaca is is deeply offended and the two shrews have words.

La Vaca approaches MentiRosa, who has plastered herself all over Fed's coffin.

* Vainessa has to sign off on some of Fed's unfinished business, sees the bill for MentiRosa's hotel room, and doesn't pay it.

* There's some cutesy stuff between Cupcake and Guscake. Gus will help her out, whatever, I wasn't paying attention. FF>>>

Gus vows to be supportive and help Cupcake, now that she's lost her papa.

* There's some stuff with Mersnotty and Ernesto that doesn't interest me. Mersnotty's friend Chio brings over Ernesto to see Mersnotty and I forget what else. FF >>> Oh, I watched this now. Ernesto is recounting how he and Mersnotty broke up years earlier, he married this other woman hoping to forget Mersnotty. He was going to ask for a divorce but the wife was pregnant, so he decided to stick around. . . blah blah. Regrets, sadness, now he has this snotty little daughter around who won't accept Mersnotty. FF for real this time. FF >>>

* Rohell calls up Sinthia and b*tches about her going off on her own (I think). She's at a restaurant while having this conversation and Effer is getting frisky with her as she's trying to have a serious conversation with her foul-tempered brother. Effer's antics are very funny.

Sin is on the phone with the Angry Man in a Black Cowboy Hat as Effer gets frisky.

More of Effer and his public display of affection. . .

He dips below table level to do . . . whatever . . .

. . . and is disappointed when Sin pushes him away.

* Rohell, in a bad mood (as if there is a time when he's not in a bad mood!) rolls into Miguel's room and asks if Cupcake has any friends or anyone she knows in (other town that I won't even attempt to spell). Miguel doesn't know anything. Rohell threatens Miguel and says he'll make sure he returns to jail if he doesn't tell all that he knows. Miguel looks like a deer in the headlights.

Rohell on wheels barrels into Miguel's room, with important questions on his mind. He sends Dani off so he can talk to the Unibrow.

Rohell threatens Miguel with a return to the jail if Miguel doesn't tell all!

The Unibrow has a deer in the headlights look.

* Cupcake and MentiRosa are wringing their hands in the hotel room that Fed paid for when there's a knock on the door. It's Vainessa! END OF EPISODE!

Cupcake is shocked by the appearance of Vainessa at the hotel room.

AVANCES: MentiRosa calls Rohell and indicates that she's with Cupcake. Rohell looks beyond relieved.

Bonus picture with a technical note:

(A screencap from the downloaded version of this episode.) All those "comby" horizontal lines you see in this image (click on image to see larger version) are called interlacing. They are often more evident in scenes with more movement (like people running, or the camera panning quickly over a scene, etc) If you are processing a video on your computer, you can often select a filter (or find some button somewhere in your software) that says "deinterlace." This will supposedly get rid of the comby lines. I tried to get rid of these lines in Photoshop's "deinterlace" filter but it didn't work!

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Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Una Familia Con Suerte #151-152 Tue 3/6/12

Lupe visits a badly bruised Tomas in jail. Things are not going well. She wants to know what *really* happened. He's lucky that Chela spoke some words in his favor, because she is sweet to him (horrifying face and all). He presses his advantage, and lays it on her... All I want is to be with you forever. Fortunately, visiting hours end.

Chato seems like he'll be leaving. They're having a going away party... He gives a sweet goodbye speech and everyone claps. Sandrucha is suddenly much nicer. Chacho has been a very positive influence. They have a kiss, and everyone watches with wide eyes and mocks them... "se quieren, se quieren..."

Mike is back, our favorite dorito-colored jerk. He wants Beca to come on a vacation with him. She's wearing fluffed-up pink crepe paper. God, he's awful. That face he makes....

Since Ana lost her contract, The family has decided to sell them on their own.

Vins is extremely unhappy that Sandrucha is dating Chacho, and calls him a "chayote de campo!" Chacho stands up for himself, briefly, but then Vins threatens to fire her.

Chela kisses Pancho and sends him off with some lunch.
Beca will go to Miami with Mike. She admits that Pancho is the love of her life, but wants to keep living. Mike: *I* was the love of your life.

Pancho and Enzo are quite nice to each other about Chela.

Candy flogs the cd on her show. And Oh, God, I hadn't heard her sing lately. I'm not even sure she's not lip-syncing. It doesn't sound like her. We're treated to shots of folks all over Mexico singing along, dancing, and tapping their steering wheels. They're even listening in jail. It doesn't help his case with the thugs (one of whom is 4 feet tall)

Ines, in a silly blue suit/dress and hat, comes to Vins to... talk about Mike! But that's not all. ... Vins lets her know that Pancho could inherit everything. The combination of that and the whiskey just about gives the old bag an infarto. They connive convincingly. She reveals that the merger is crucial to her revenge... She's still sticking to the story that the only reason for the feud is the dead husband, but I bet there's more.

Chela is also hawking the disc at her Avon party.

Pepe is not making much headway helping Moni with calculus (or is it the other way around?).

Pancho overhears Rebe telling Arnold that she's going to Miami. Pancho makes a face. Arnold, on the other hand, is delighted. He's been telling her to do it.

There's a gross, gross kiss between Pancho and Chela. God, it looks uncomfortable. Temo walks in and is delighted. The brat runs off to tell the rest of Mexico and they get back to it.

Fernanda and some old dude are happily strolling through some small-town historical museum (are they on exhibit)... they can't believe they're together after all this time. The old dude proudly mentions that it used to be a wealthy mining town (18th century? Mexico? look how this old dude happily reminisces on the misery and abuse of indians). Ahhh, it's Doctor Octop--Octavio. That's a little creepy, dating your doctor. Haha, they dance in some randomly empty dance studio.

Candy is becoming more and more like Pina, yelling at the maid and succumbing to paranoia. But in her case, there is a real conspiracy - Napoleon. Napoleon's hot agent Deborah drops by to point out how crappy it must be to live in a house owned by Vins, AAAND propose to Candy in Napoleon's name with some threats of consequences for proposal.

She tells Vins, and he demands to meet this Napoleon character.

Mike comes to pick up Beca, who is ludicrously squeezed into a tiny red swimsuit of a dress. Mike is speechless... he comments that he did not know so much beauty could fit in one woman. That's also an awful lot of boob to fit in one micro-dress.

Pancho announces that he's taking it up with Chela. His family pretends to be shocked (Temo already told them)..


Good night, friends!

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El Talismán #24 Mon 3/5/12 It’s always sunny in Fresno




I will be out of town on a fun, short trip from Thursday through next Monday or Tuesday so I thought I would be the sub for this Monday’s recap. Blue Lass will post headers for discussion for Thursday’s recap. Oh, and next Monday’s too unless someone else decides to recap it.

The title? Well, it *does* always seem to be sunny in El Tal Fresno, and I was too lazy to think of a better title.

Reminder from last night in the words of Novela Maven:
As soon as Camila closes her bedroom door, Lu slinks out from her hidey-hole and needles Pedro about getting snubbed by Cami.
Alone in the bedroom, Cami reconsiders. Maybe she was a bit prudish – what’s a little kiss, after all?
She opens her door to rejoin Pedro ... just a second or two after LuCraziest has pulled Pedro onto her face.
Camila gives them the stinkeye. The credits roll before Pedro can say “Déjame explicar ...”

Tonight:
And does he explain? Well...no because Cami hears Pedro tell Loo to lay off and Cami rips him a new one for yet again luring a woman to him with his masculine wiles and then rejecting her. Hey folks, I don’t write this crap I just report it. Pedro tells LooKrazia to leave El Tal now (Vete ya = Leave already) and tries to do damage control with Cami the drama queen.  Yell, rant, rave, Cami says Loo goes or she goes. Pedro, just tell her.

Renato welcomes El Viral to “his” spectacular palace complete with faux butler. It is a palace so clearly not his. He tells El Viral that he prefers staying at his niece’s apartment. “You must really love her,” observes El Viral. Uh, sort of. Renato tells her he’s looking for a wife.

The Harlot and the Belt Buckle fight about their daughters, Doris says they will never accept Camila. Tony kindly says Camila will be a better mother than Doris. The lovebirds continue this constructive conversation for another scene or two.

Pedro pushes Cami around a little and finally tells her he told LooKrazia to leave. Loo is listening outside the door and indicates to herself she doesn’t agree with this plan. She calls Tony with this update and he tells her to calm down, Operation Opprobriate Pedro Soon (OOPS) is about to go into motion, a newspaper article blaming him for his wife’s disappearance.

Panchito reports to Pigorio that he doesn’t have any chisme or proof of plots yet. Pigorio gripes that LooKrazia is manipulating Antonio and turning him against dad.

Pedro keeps telling Cami that she doesn’t trust him. She tries, she says, but she just can’t. He doesn’t trust her either. I’m having a deja vu here. Didn’t I recap this same conversation last Thursday? I guess the 8 or so scenes from last week weren’t enough. He insists he was found innocent of making Mariana disappear. More blathering and Pedro leaves in a huff.

El Viral strolls around the house admiring trinkets and photos. Be careful Elvira or you’ll slip on your own drool. Ren pretends to be oh, so sad because his sister, mother of Rita, died. Rita is his only relative and he’s so very lonely. He’s looking for someone who wants him for himself, not his money. Oh brother.

Meanwhile the maids set the table for dinner and gripe at the butler for putting them in this mess. What if the real owner shows up? Oho, apparently Rita is keeping him busy with her little lace and vinyl underthingies, promising him the best night of his life.

Cami runs to Geno crying her eyes out because she and Pedro are fighting about the same old thing. I totally get that, they make me want to cry too. In another deja vu from last week Pedro is once again saying “No más” and is about to go after Cami.

Pedro finds Cami’s room empty and hunts her down. I think he’s going to go into neanderthal mode again. Yep!! He grabs the amazon, flings her over his shoulder and takes her back to his cave. Well, her room actually, and he romantically locks her in. Dude, you are such a chick magnet, no wonder they can’t resist you.

El Viral says the night is perfect, just like Renato, gag. Cue the dispassionate kissing. Oh cool, we get to hear their thoughts while they eat. Ren doesn’t want to wait, he’ll propose marriage. Elvira is orgasmically eating her dessert, thinking about the riches to come. Renato escorts Elvira to the boudoir. She’s a little nervous but his amazingly boring kisses soon thaw the ice queen.

Pedro can’t resist going back into the bedroom and fighting some more with Cami even though a few minutes ago he said “No más. Fight, yell, blame, I love you, you’re stubborn. Pedro: "Believe me or leave me."

Pigorio dreams about running into Elvira at the GAGG ball and her calling him an ugly old fart. He wakes up sweaty, ugly and probably farty too, and says he might be old but he’s still the boss of everyone and she’s going to be his diamond.

Over at the the best little whorehouse in Fresno Doris complains to Brigitte that now more than ever she needs to seduce Pigorio and get him to marry her. The overly dramatic music tells us this is very heavy news indeed, but the mask just makes me want to laugh.

Armani is mooning over pics of Fabiola on his laptop. He kvetches about seducing both sisters. Loser.

On the other side of the tracks Fabi wants to show Flor pics of Armani. Saved by a knock on the door. It’s daddy and he wants to talk and explain that he was very mad when he murdered grandpa’s wall safe. Wow, he tells them about granny’s will and that grandpa ignored it and kept the whole rancho for himself. More importantly, he’s asking mom for a divorce and he wants to girls to stay with him. The girls say they will not accept his new girlfriend Camila.

LooKrazy goes to Cami’s room to hang out, have a slumber party, play records, do each other’s nails and talk about boys. Well, that last part is true. Loo’s happy to see Cami suffering. They take turns insisting Pedro will be hers. What a stupid party.

Pedro’s boozing it up and Aunt Patty’s worried. She scolds him that getting drunk won’t help. Au contraire, I say, get some booze in the guy and see if he warms up a little. He’s slightly more animated but basically repeats the conversation about Cami not trusting him. Aunt Patty says he’s a dumba$$, LooKrazia’s behind all this and all he and Cami do is go around in circles. Amen sister. Pedro talks about maybe going back to Tijuana to see his peeps. Uh oh, Aunt Patty reveals that Sister Luciana died a few days ago.

Tony admits it’s true about his girlfriend. He hopes they’ll give Camila a chance because she’s simply marvelous. They mumble they’ll try for his sake. He can’t understand why they defend their mama when she’s never given them the time of day. He says the girls have disillusioned him for not being on his side 100%.

Brigitte doesn’t seem as excited as Doris about her idea to marry Pigorio. Doris whines about Elvira, the new old kid in town who intrigues Pigorio. She needs to snag Pigorio before Tony throws her into the street. Brigitte knits her brows.

Oh ick, Renato and Elvira get horizontal as she keeps saying “No puedo”. Oh sure you can. Cue the 70’s romance music.

Next morning Pedro gathers the troops and tells them he’s going to Tijuana to put flowers on Sister Luciana’s grave. And he might not return. Gasp!

Renato admires himself in the mirror while El Viral sleeps. He goes downstairs and compliments the staff. If all goes well with Elvira he’ll give them a huge tip. Elvira wakes and thanks God for giving Renato do her, what a man! What a lover! What a crock.

Speaking of tips, Rita’s rich Gordo hands her a wad of cash and happily tells her his wife is in Europe for three months and he wants to spend every night with her! The sleazy background music is a hoot, with some guy crooning “oh baby” while Rita cringes at the thought. She calls Renato to tell him her Gordo is on the way home. Renato runs upstairs with a rose and tells Elvira they’re going to breakfast on his yacht after stopping by his office. Hurry up! As Elvira dresses he berates himself for making up that crap about a yacht. What’s he gonna do now?

Tracy shows up at Alcatrash to talk to Panchito. Alberta tells her about LooKrazia moving in at El Tal. Poor Camila, says Tracy. She also thinks Panchito is up to something and she’s going to find out what it is.

Panchito’s pathetically following Pigorio around, calling him papa and being concerned for his health. Pig says whatever Pancho does don’t let Tony know he’s sick, otherwise the Pig's unit will shrink. Panchito reports that Tony and Doris got in a big fight and the girls don’t want to accept Tony’s new novia Camila. Pigorio says he’s going to disown Tony and make Panchito his true son. Panchito swallows the hook big time. He might as well just start filleting himself now.

Flor talks with Alberta as Tony strolls through the room. He shuns his daughter and grouses that he wants to have breakfast outside, alone, so he can think. He can’t believe his own daughters turned their backs on him. That jerk-off is more immature than his kids. The girls spy on him while he’s pouting and drinking his breakfast. Doris joins them and they glare at her. So now Doris gets her turn to talk to the girls. She knows something is going on between the girls and their Papa. She tells them about having to marry young and basically tries to get their sympathy. Flor cries; mission accomplished.

Tony and Valentin pace the porch and wonder where LooKrazia is. Tony wants Valentin to somehow keep Pigorio from going to his office at the usual time for some reason, to plant the poison pills I guess. Then they talk about Panchito, he’s a useless gossip and a big brown-noser when it comes to Pigorio.

Panchito sees Tracy and tells her a lot has happened to him lately. She accuses him of neglecting her, maybe he doesn’t deserve her love. He promises that his current busy-ness will be better for both of them. When Tracy looks away he picks his nose. If he grabs her with that hand I’m going to barf. He says finally Pigorio is going to put Panchito in his rightful place. Nose-picking foreman maybe. Or lead engineer for the mining of Alcatrash boogers.

Tony recalls getting Elvira’s fingerprints on the pills and tells himself she’ll be accused of killing the Pig. Then he mumbles his last statement so badly I couldn’t understand him! Probably something about Camila being all his. Doesn’t really matter because it will be repeated at least twenty times.

Avances: Pedro asks Camila to go to Tijuana with him. LooKrazia sabotages the truck.


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