Caray, Caray!

First, a little repetitious review: At the Double E (Hacienda de las Elizondo sin Escandon) Juan is trying to get past guard-doggie, Fatima, to see his sick little girl. Sofia interrupts and tells Juan there’s no reason to now. Of course, when she did come by earlier to speak with him about it, he was gettin’ busy with the babes at another baile (dance). Juan says uh, yeah, but he behaved himself and didn’t drink, so --- Sofia says no explanations, PUH-leese. She went to ask for his help and a bit of consolation, but he was AWOL. She doesn’t need a thing from him now. Juan says “al contrario”, that he’d heard she and her sisters had been sent packing again, courtesy of Mama. Just then Gabi, who’s been eagerly listening to this discordant exchange from around the corner and is all smiles, bullies her way in and says he heard wrong. Nothing’s changed, and her daughters are there under her [loving] protection as always. (Eye rolls from those of us in Viewerville.)

Across the way on some neighboring dirt road, Oscar is facing off again with Jimena and Sarita. They refuse his offer to take them in at the Double R (Hacienda de los Robles-Reyes). Oscar says keep it up and they’ll end up losing them (him and Franco) for sure. Jimena blames him and his brothers for starting it all by accusing their daddy of being a killer. Oscar says fine, but their daughters are not going to suffer because of her and her sisters’ foolishness. (Alright!! If I didn’t know better, I’d swear it was Oscar who was the oldest Reyes and the head of this family. He’s the only one of the three –make that six-- with his head screwed on straight in this whole mess.) Jimena leaves in a snit with Sarita.

Meanwhile, back at the Hacienda de Hokum, Gabi gives Juan a load about it all being just an empty threat of hers during a moment of misplaced anger. Juan pleads with Sofia to see the light. “She’s lying, Sofia!” Sofia, though, has her own reasons to play along with Mama. Juan contends that the little girls and she will be better off with him than there with The Great Manipulator. Sofia says absolutely not! Then she and Mama make a big show of new found mother-daughter solidarity. (Viewerville shares one hell of a reflexive group-gag.) Juan gives up in total frustration. “It ain’t worth the effort!” He leaves. Gabi turns to Sofia and gives her a Judas’ kiss that’s enough to make even Sofia’s skin crawl.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the same time, upstairs in Augie’s room, Santita asks Augie how he managed to get Crabi to change her mind. Augie says he used some of her same tricks and, of course, the loan Santita gave him to get the hacienda out of hoc won’t hurt, either.

Meanwhile, Oscar and Juan meet up on the way back to the hacienda to compare notes. They decide that if the Elizondo sisters don’t want to have anything to do with them then fine, but the little girls are a different story. After all, they’re Reyes’ too, now. “¿Qué no?” “--¡Que sí!”

Back at the Double E again, Gabi goes up to Augie’s room and asks him how he plans to pay off the hacienda’s debt, but he says not her problem. He’ll do it provided she accepts his conditions: everything will be divided into equal shares and Sofia will be the lone administrator. Nobody else. Otherwise, Gabi loses everything. Gabi walks out in another huff. Santita wonders if Gabi will be convinced. Augie says there’s no doubt, because she would do anything not to have the Reyes’ see her humiliated and beaten.

Juan pays a visit a bit later to Dr. Mendoza to get the details about his little girl’s heart condition. The doctor explains that she’s out of danger for now, and says he thinks the condition will eventually correct itself. If not, they’ll have to operate, but they’ll have to wait till she’s two anyway and watch her closely till then. Juan then asks about Juliana’s condition since her father’s already discussed it with him. (Tho’ it’s been thought and said before, I’ve got to say it again: Can they please get a bit more original and exotic with these illnesses? Hmm. Like ALS or liver failure or that Mad Cow Disease--CJD?) Dr. Mendoza says the only thing he can tell him is that poor, little, uber-cheery Juliana has only a short time left to live. (Uh-oh! Quickie sympathy-wedding alert!)

Speaking of the princess of Rome, Juliana is all recovered from the day before and tells Daddy Clemente that she’s got some matter to attend to and will tell him about it later.

Juan is now in his office at the hacienda. He pulls out the engagement ring that Sofia returned to him and remembers when she agreed to marry him this last time and him telling her he was a one-woman man. He also thinks back to the day she gave that ring back and called things off till he could come to terms with the fact that Bernie didn’t kill anybody, and in particular Juan’s parents. Back in the present, Juan re-reads the note from Juliana’s daddy explaining that she has Leukemia but doesn’t know it yet, and that nobody else should find out either.

Juliana has gone to visit Sofia to see if the road is clear for her to try for Juan. Sofia says it sure is and then smiles that long-suffering, sugary sweet smile of hers. So, Juliana jumps for joy and races off while Sofia apparently figures she can’t do much about it now anyway, considering the circumstances.

Later that morning Oscar is griping about his rotten luck with Jimena when Juliana’s blonde cousin, Elena, and her buddy, Paulina, whose got the hots for Franco, see him and chase him down near one of the town plazas. Blondie begs him to take her and Pau for ice cream. Oscar begs off till he notices Jimena and Sarita looking at him from across the street. Sarita catcalls, “Well will you look at that shameless baker of yours getting on so wellll with—“ Oscar suddenly says his appointment can wait. He grabs the two girls and raises his voice about 50 decibles, “Why, I’m not going to leave you with a hankerin’ for ice cream.” Jimena struts over and carps back at him, “You’re going to be ice cream when I shake the spit out of you!” To Blondie: “Let go of my husband!” Blondie wonders what’s going on. “Husband?? HUS-band!!” “—Yeah. MY husband and we have four kids!” ‘—Four kids????” Jimena then stomps her boot on Elena’s foot again and walks off. Oscar smiles to himself and mentally skips over the “loves me not” column to chalk one up under “loves me”.

Back at the Double E, Santita and Augie continue to reminisce about the good old days and flirt with each other while flipping through old photo albums. She says once she fell for Augie there was nobody else for her. “—Until your nouveau-riche (ricachón) first husband showed up,” says Augie. “--We all have our weaknesses, BUT I’m back with you again,” she says sweetly. They smile and flirt some more. “You were a beauty!” “—Aw, you are still the same handsome rascal!”

Jimena and Sarita are back minding the Trinkets R Us and justifying Jimena’s antics a few minutes ago. Jimena is just seething with jealousy. Sarita says they’ve got to find a way to give Oscar and bro’ a taste of their own medicine. What they need is to find a couple of chumps to be seen with, but who??? The gods of central casting respond and suddenly two cowboys walk into the store.

Back at the hacienda again, Sarita is still chatting it up with Augie. “How come Gabriela hates the Reyes’ so much?” Augie figures there had to be something that went on in the past he never found out about since he wasn’t living at the hacienda back then. Santi wonders if Augie is convinced Bernie didn’t really kill Juanjo Reyes. He says of course he didn’t. Bernie was one of the good guys. Besides, Gabi only mentioned it to him a few days ago and said it was because Juanjo was her lover and so, when Bernie supposedly found out about it he went loco somehow and killed him. Truth be told, he doesn’t believe a bit of it! “You don’t think Gabi could be so perverse as to invent such a story?” she asks. Augie answers it’s hard for him to admit something like that about his own daughter, but she could and would do that and worse; and now with Fernando she has met her match. “--Too bad that now when you need her most she’s not there for you!” (Ever heard of The Bad Seed, Santi?)

Speaking of Gabi, she’s driving down the lane on the way to somewhere and stops. She can’t figure out where her father could have gotten all the money necessary to save the hacienda. Out of nowhere Fer jumps into the seat next to her. “Just got back into town. Miss me?” He flashes his pearly whites. She starts to smack him but he grabs her arm and twists it just enough to threaten. She screams to let her loose. She starts in with how dare he show up like nothing’s happened, bitches that he’s ruined them, whines that he’s destroyed her life and then says she never wants to see him again. Of course Feo is ready with another conveniently flawless explanation.

Eva sneaks over to the hacienda for a visit , meanwhile, with Sofia to again offer her undying support. Sofia tells her that she is more supportive and affectionate than her own mother. From now on Sofia’s determined to confront whoever it may be in order to protect what’s hers. (About frickin’ time, too!) Eva will be proud of the way she protects all of the people who love and depend on her now. Eva doesn’t doubt it and says she’d have loved it if Sofia was her daughter for real.

Speak of the Devil and who appears? Daughter Root bounces in to say she’s ba-a-ack. “So is the owner (obviously meaning Gabi) of this hacienda around?” Sofia turns and looks at Root with just a hint of haughty (Sofia hasn’t quite got the moves down yet) and says, “I’M the owner of this hacienda.” Root is appropriately impactada. (Note the body language, i.e., the supercilious lift in the eyebrows, which translates into: “Huh. Leave town for a few days and the whole world goes to Hell in a hand basket!”) Uni melodramatically breaks for a bit of crass commercialism to pay its bills.

When we return to Mexiloon, Feo is shrugging off his failure as an administrator with a bit of the old bovine fecal favorite, “Mistakes were made, so it that such a sin?” and “Sorry to disappoint.” Crabi grouses back that because of him she’s been forced to humiliate herself in front of her father and the others by having to accept Augie’s conditions in order to save the hacienda. Feo insists that he was truly determined to get the hacienda into the black, but they had too many problems that really complicated things. He says part of the problem was that her father refused to sign the necessary papers and so he had to trick him into it, but by then they’d lost too much time and money; and he warned her they were on the brink of financial ruin, but she wouldn’t pay any attention to him. (It almost sounds plausible, until you remember him sucking out all the ready cash from any and all available accounts there were and stashing it into foreign banks then covering up his tracks by cooking the books.) “Not all the blame is mine!”

In the meantime (emphasis on mean), Root gives Sofia a hard time over becoming the new owner and administrator of the Double E and says it’s doubtful Sofia knows the first thing about it. The place is certain to be ruined in nothing flat. Eva sticks up for Sofia and tells Root not to talk like that to her, but Root sh-sh-sh’s Eva up and wants to know who asked her opinion? Sofia tells Root then to lay off Eva. Root snidely asks if she’s supposed to be frightened because Sofia tells her she can’t talk to some shrew any ol’ way she feels like? Sofia starts to tell Root the real reason she can’t but Eva stops her first. Root lets out with a couple of snide giggles and says she really can’t bother herself with the likes of them anyway. She’s got more important things to do, like unpack. On her way out of the room she lets off another sarcastic volley. “Big Woop! Sofia the Owner! The owner! What a scarey thing! Oooh!” (Ya know, about now I’d have told Root to back her rude ASSetts out the same way she came in, and if she didn’t I’d get Rosendo and the boys in there with their 12-gauges and start shoving her out myself at the end of a rod-iron poker. But of course, Sofia has hopes for sainthood.) Sofia apologizes to Eva for the shameful way Root treated her, but Eva says she’s more ashamed because Root’s her real daughter.

Out in the back forty at the Double R, Juan is giving tractor-driving lessons to Oscar and we get to FF through the yokels yukking it up til Pablito tells them they’re due back at the school house to take care of their “community service” by fixing up the director’s office. FF’ing again through stupid scenes of childish paint slopping antics.

Crabi and Feo finally return home. She tells him to remember that Sofia runs the place now and it’s up to her whether he gets to stay there or not. Feo can’t believe Crabi won’t lift a finger to defend him against her. Fatima rushes in to tell her that Root is back and has taken over Fernando’s old room again, but she’s gone out for a while and nobody knows where.

Juan returns home and enters his bedroom. He sees Root’s there in his bed, naked as jaybird, draped (barely) in a blue sheet, looking like some bad painting you always see hanging over the bar in some mid-19th century saloon in a mid-20th century B western. Yep. Root’s ready to rut. She tells Juan she’s come back for him just as she’d promised she would. Juan knits the old eyebrows in another slack-jawed frown of impactado and stands there staring at her.

Back at the Double E, Raqui shows up but she didn’t come alone. The long awaited and uber mysterious Ricardo is with her. He enters through the doorway and everyone there is amazed to actually see him standing there in the flesh. Gabi plays charming hostess and DV plays charming guest. “Looks like we have both aged like fine wines.” He kisses Gabi’s hand. Raqui looks at the two of them with something like suspicion or hurt in her eyes. Gabi turns and re-introduces Raqui to Fernando who both play along at being barely acquainted. Ricardo watches the two of them. Maybe he suspects something’s up. Fernando and he shake hands. They both acknowledge a history between his family and the Uribes. They stare at each other, mentally squaring off.

Over at the Double R again, Juan’s finally snapped out of it. He yells at Root. (I suppose she’s trying to be sexy.) She’s there for her house, him and the stallion he rode in on (and at this point I shudder to ask what she wants with the horse). She’ll start with him, though. He yells at her to get dressed and to get it into her big fat head that he’s not interested. Better still, just grab her junk and get the hell out--now! She ignores his tirade and drops drape.

At the Double E, Feo is thinking to himself that Ricardo Uribe owes him big time and he’s going to pay dearly. He excuses himself and says he has things to do (yeah, right) and will be in his office if they need him. Raqui excuses herself to go up to find the powder room and lay down a bit. Ricardo and she exchange a pleasantly plastic smile with each other. (I’m thinking no way this was ever anything but an arranged marriage.) Once Raqui’s out of earshot, Gabi asks DV why he came back. He says to get even with the Reyes brothers and to take back what belongs to him.

Juan is still struggling to get Root out of his bedroom. Root keeps babbling on about them being fated lovers and him never being able to get rid of her, then being just the kind of hawt, sexy thing he wants in a woman and something about rough waters crossing over hard rocks…er something, which even Juan couldn’t make heads or tails of. She just won’t give in or give up. All of a sudden Eva barges into the room and takes it all in. “My God! And without clothes!” Root wonders why the hell she can’t shake loose of Eva. “You! Can’t I ever be free of you? You’re always meddling in things that don’t concern you! Who do you think you are! Tell me how you do it!!”

Juan forbids Root to speak to Eva like that, but he might as well be spitting in the wind. “I don’t need your permission for anything! I’m fed up with this old woman!”To Eva: “You’re a meddling old busybody!” Juan yells at her again to stop it and again is about to tell her why when Oscar and Franco run up there to ask whether he’s going in or not to take a bath. Suddenly Oscar gets an eyeful of Root’s bare bottom too. She tells the others that she’s there for what’s hers: Juan, his horse, and the hacienda which she says will all be hers in good time. She adds then that her father’s back and ready to make them pay very dearly for daring to mess with them, and that the hacienda will again be the Uribes’. She screams at Eva to get out of her way and exits stage left.

Franco asks Juan if he thinks Ricardo Uribe is really going to return. Juan says the time has come to face the guy.

Gabi and Darth are sharing a brandy together and talking about old times. “I never stopped thinking about you. Lots of memories and spilled blood ties the two of us together,” she tells him. “--And several other perversions!” he adds. They share a big laugh. Gabi is literally aglow. (Yeesh.) “Together we were invincible. We always took whatever we pleased, items, people. And our enemies always paid for what they did to us, remember?” “--How could I forget it? A toast to the memories, and because nothing bonds us together.” He takes a big swallow. “—You’re mistaken,” says Gabi. “Something very powerful bonds us together and you know very well what.” “—Only the hate we have for the Reyes’,” says Darth. “--Yes, first Juan Jose, and now his sons,” says Gabi. DV says he wants to know all about them, especially their weaknesses so he will know where best to hit them. Gabi smiles evilly (she’s still glowing) and they toast again.

Juan explains to Eva and his brothers how he found Root already there in his bed, waiting for him, naked as the day she was born. Eva blames herself and says it’s her punishment for having abandoned her. Franco says no. “It’s obvious the Uribes never instilled morals in her.” Oscar is worried that if Root, the demon seed, is anything like her daddy, then he can only imagine what it will be like having to deal with Ricardo Uribe. They’d better be prepared. Juan says the Reyes’ are not afraid of anybody and if Ricardo Uribe comes looking for them, they’ll be there waiting for him.

Gabi tells Darth that the Reyes brothers are very shrewd, especially Juan, who is the oldest and most violent of the three. Darth says she should know him better, he’s never been afraid of anybody or anything. His strength has always been to know his enemy’s weak point. Gabi says, well Juan’s weak point is his brothers. “Together they’re like a pack of wolves and they get their strength from their sense of unity.” Darth says fine, then that’s where he’ll aim. “His brothers are going to be the first to pay for messing with me.” Gabi is practically ecstatic.

DV changes the discussion to Fernando and how Gabi could have ever considered marrying her ex-SIL. He can’t believe Fernando was so captivating. (Frankly, none of us can, Darth. But then when you’re hard up enough, all things are possible.) He laughs at this and suddenly the glow is gone. Gabi scowls at Darth like a wet cat.

Back in their bedroom, Franco and Oscar discuss the benefits of courting nice girls like Jimena and marvel at how they’ve outgrown the fast and loose ones like Root. They both agree that Jimena and Sarita are The Ones.

Speaking of The Ones, at Trinkets R Us the two cowboys confess to Sarita and Jimena that they were there specifically to talk to them, that they couldn’t keep their eyes off them the other day at that first party of Juliana’s. The cute one with the mustache is Roman and the goofy looking one with the curls is Gonzalo. Turns out they’re friends from grade school and hacendados’ sons (brothers, maybe?). They’re back in town to visit their family and check on things at the hacienda.

Gabi offers to have DV and family stay in her father’s cottage instead of staying at a hotel. He flirts a bit and asks if her husband won’t get jealous of him being there. She says not his place to ask since he was the one to leave her all those years ago. Somebody else simply took his place. DV says she knows full well the reason why he left: she fell in love with Juanjo Reyes. Of course, Juanjo never paid any attention to her, despised her in fact. She says, “Well you got even with him and then you deserted me….though, where there was fire cinders remain.” Darth perks up at this, but just then Raqui walks back into the room. They pull apart a hair too quickly and awkwardly. Raqui asks if they weren’t going to offer her a drink. Darth offers to pour. Raqui is definitely aware she’s the fifth wheel here.

Sofia walks down the grand staircase—her staircase now-- and smiles from the power rush. Fer is in the office sipping on a brandy and puffing on the signature cheroot. He thinks to himself again that Ricardo Uribe has a few unsettled matters to account for with him and the time for payback has finally come. Sofia walks in on him and tells him in no uncertain terms that he may be her mother’s husband, but as far as she’s concerned he’s not permitted to be in her office ever again. He says he knows she’s supposed to be managing things around there now and it’s a shame she won’t be able to handle it. (She could probably do it a hundred times better than Feo in her sleep.) Sofia says his opinion isn’t worth spit and if he had even a smidgeon of shame he’d never show his face around there again. As far as she’s concerned he’s nothing but an offensive creep and a two-bit thief who’s to blame for their nearly losing the hacienda.

Feo jumps up and insists he’s no thief and he refuses to let his ex insult him like that. She pushes him out of the way and shows him the account books. “Gramps went over these in minute detail and we know you cooked them!” She tells him then that she has all the proof she needs to put him in jail and throw away the key. He asks if she’s really going to do it? Would she dare put her mother’s husband in jail? She says no, but what’s stopping her isn’t him, only the scandal and shame it would cause Mama. (Gawd, then by all means go.a.head.) So, just so he knows, he’ll have to pay back every bit of what he’s cost them. He lies and asks her with what, since he hasn’t got a centavo to his name. “Then you can work it off. Either you work it off or I send you to jail.” He flops back down in the chair and takes a puff. “I’ll work it off.”

Labels: Fuego

Permalink posted by Jardinera654 @ 1:08 AM 26 comments

Leftovers: The padre is leaving the hacienda, or whatever it is. The judge is asking JM where Marichuy is – JM doesn’t know. The judge thinks he’s hidden her away in a love nest. JM says they’ve broken up. Mari is looking at the stuffed leopard, El L. pads up quietly (he’s proud of this skill) and startles her.

New: She wants to know why he’s called El L., is it because he attacks others? He says leopards get a bad rap, and besides his nickname is a nickname like any other. She says why do you let people call you that? He glowers.

The judge is telling Ceci that JM doesn’t know where Mari is either. Ceci says no puede ser! Someone must know. She’s going to ask Padre Anselmo. The judge says you know I support you in everything. (Ha!) Ceci thoughtbubbles about sweet times with Mari. (I like that in this show, thoughtbubbles are actually round.)

At the hacienda, Mari says why are all these animals in here? She gets up her nerve and, talking in a rush, asks if it was him making all that noise outside late at night. El L. interrupts and says, wow – listen to the way you talk! Mari says I’ve always talked like that. He gets cranky and says he doesn’t like personal questions and what is she doing in his living room, anyway? He says I told Micaela you could stay as long as you didn’t bother me, and I like quiet. It’s best you steer clear of me. I don’t want to be rude, but I like my solitude.

Cande is in their room. She has lit a candle and is thanking the virgin. Mari runs in and says she’s seen the owner and he’s scary and they call him The Leopard. Cande says I should have told you, when we were cooking in the kitchen they told me we should stay away from him. They discuss this and they note how serious a guy he is.

Ceci goes to the church and asks Padre M. where is Mari?

Mari is gathering eggs with Micaela at the big chicken coops. Cande looks on and jokes that she has asthma, so she can’t help. A groom is saddling a horse and asks Mari if she’d like to ride. She says what a big animal, she’d fall off. The groom offers to teach her, but she demurs. Micaela tells him to quit fooling with the horse and get ready to go into town. Cande looks thoughtful. She tells the guy to wait up a bit.

Ceci tells the padre about going to Mari’s apartment and not finding her, and says that he must know where she is.

Mari asks Michaela if Cosme is going to the DF. She says yes, he goes for a couple of days off every two weeks, he has family there, his wife, his sons, his grandson. Mari’s worried he might tell somebody that they’re there, but Micaela says he doesn’t know your friends. Cande says sometimes life has such strange coincidences, and she gives a six degrees of separation speech. Mari says let’s change our names, then nobody will find out.

Ceci tells the padre she’s sure he had something to do with Mari’s disappearance and that he knows where she is. She pleads with him and he says yes, he does know, but he can’t tell. She gets tearful and says I’m her mama! You told her about that, didn’t you? The padre says I told her I found her parents, but she didn’t want to know who they are. Ceci agonizes.

Micaela shows Mari how to milk a cow. (If she’s the head housekeeper and there’s staff, why does Micaela have to milk cows?) Cande comes up and they talk about new names. Cande chooses Lalaaaaaa, which is what she was called when she was little.

Mari asks Micaela why the owner is called El Leopardo. The music gets serious. Micaela says I don’t know. Mari says leopards are dangerous. Micaela says he’s okay…. but I’ll confess there are times he scares me. See? whispers Mari to Candi.

The padre tells Ceci that Mari said it’s too late, she doesn’t need parents now. Ceci sobs and the padre says he’s sorry. She says can you tell me why she left? He says I can’t tell you that either. Ceci says are you making me suffer because of Mari’s hard past? He says no, I feel for you and I’d love to relieve your suffering, but I can’t. I made a promise. I can tell you she’s fine and she’s in a safe place.

Mari happily rides her bike by the water, the dove in the basket. She lies on the grass and plays with the dove some more.

Now we’re at the psychiatric hospital, out in the garden. Viv is staring into space, and Onelia is behind her, combing her hair, then rubbing her arms. She tells Viv she wouldn’t believe things that happened after she disappeared – JM’s marriage to that common Mari, the one who brought laundry. Close-up of Viv’s red-rimmed, vacant eyes. Is she registering anything? Or is she really a great faker?

The nanny and Mayita are sitting at a table outside. Mayita seems to have taken to her. Mayita is explaining where she got Cuate and has to explain who Stef is (the lady who was going to marry my father) and who Mari is (the lady who did marry my father). Mayita explains that her mother isn’t dead and is coming back, so it’s a good thing that Mari has gone, but sad too. I think she says that her mother wouldn’t have allowed her a dog, and that she’s waiting for Mari to come back with a sibling for her.

Onelia is still fixing Viv’s hair into a ponytail when JM walks up. He asks if she’s had any luck communicating, and she says no, Viv’s mind is just blank. JM says he will do whatever he can to get her memory back, but it won’t be easy. Onelia thinks maybe if Viv saw Mayita? JM thinks it would be bad for Mayita who is going through a nervous crisis (she looks okay to me) and that it’s best to leave her with the nanny.

Onelia says you never should have let that nanny into the house. JM says it was necessary, and please don’t battle with her like you did with Mari. Viv flashes back on the plane crashing and blinks a little.

Stef is walking with the judge on the expansive lawn. She says don’t worry, everything will sort itself out. The judge says I don’t think so. Stef says I’m sure Ceci will find out from the priest where Mari has gone, then she’ll go get her. The judge says you think that’s a solution? Stef says she’s your real daughter and when she comes, I’ll leave. Ceci walks up, crying. She tearfully tells about her conversation with the padre while Stef listens carefully, and then says Mari doesn’t know that they are her parents. The judge is impactado.

At castle San Ramon, JM asks the nanny how things went and she says great. They did some lessons and chatted, and now Mayita is having a nap. JM says he just came for some papers. The nanny asks if his wife is any better and he says no. She says I hope you can cure her and he says I hope so too. He leaves the room and she stands there smiling, but not broadly, just the same as she was smiling before. What are we to infer?

JM thoughtbubbles about running in the grass with Mari and Cuate, about kissing her. Then he thoughtbubbles about seeing Vacant Viv for the first time at the facility. He wonders when he will stop thinking of her, but I think he means Mari.

Ceci is still crying and she relates that Mari told the padre that she didn’t need them now, and Ceci says where were we when she needed us? Mari has no feelings for us, and if she knew who we were, she’d go even further away. We wounded her so badly.

Stef rubs Ceci’s shoulder and says she’s bound to appear. The judge says calmate. Ceci says she’s among strangers, suffering who knows what. JM walks up. Ceci says if she hadn’t abandoned Mari, Mari’s life would have been so different. She says you two were born for each other, you could have met, fallen in love, married. Stef isn’t enjoying this part. JM says there are a lot of lovely could-have-beens. Stef doesn’t enjoy that either and she and the judge exchange quick looks.

Back at the hacienda, El L. is in the barn, and two guys have dropped another, who must be a miscreant, to his knees in front of him. The miscreant glares defiantly, and breathes heavily as is required of actors playing adrenalined-up bad guys. The two employees say he’s a traitor, turn your back and he’ll put a knife in it. It was just as they suspected, they found him at the river doing something, but I couldn’t figure out what.

The bad guy suddenly pulls a knife from his boot and lunges at El L. El L. does some bobbing and weaving, gets the knife away and slugs the guy. Mari comes in to see the fellow on the ground and El L. standing over him.

Adrian is striding through the streets and goes into the church. His mother is already there, telling the padre that she can’t believe that Mari doesn’t want them to know what’s become of her or why she left. The padre says I’m not going to tell you where she is. Adrian walks up and says but you’re going to tell me. I have the right to know.

El L. has taken a quirt to the miscreant and is whipping him. Mari jumps in, stays his hand and says stop! She and he glare at one another, both of them with their hair in their eyes.

Adrian says I want to help Mari. The padre tells him and his mother that Mari left because she wanted to get away from everything. He says I promised I wouldn’t tell and I’m not going to break that promise. What she wants is peace and quiet.

Cut to Mari, who still has hold of El L.’s quirt hand. They are still having a glare-off. She says can’t you see he’s smaller than you? Stop it! That’s why they call you the leopard, isn’t it? El L. stalks out, disgusted. The miscreant (who has the requisite one long drip of blood coming from the corner of his mouth) and the two hacienda hands just stare at her.

Wow, I had totally forgotten about Rocio. There she is still at the hospital, still bandaged up, though not the full mummy version. She is talking to Vicente who is at home and she wants to know why she’s the one who always calls him and not vice versa. He says he doesn’t want to bother her when she’s getting much-needed naps. She says she’d rather hear his voice than sleep. Vicente looks troubled.

She says she’s going to get another operation and that JM says she’ll be good as new. Vicente says he wishes she could hurry on home. She says her previous doctor had some problem, so she has a new, younger one. She wishes she could see Vicente just a little before surgery. He runs his fingers through his hair and doesn’t look enthused. He says he doesn’t want to put anyone out pushing him in his wheelchair, but he’ll call tomorrow. They hang up and they both look serious.

Mari is asking the bad guy if he’s okay, if he’s hurt. He says not much. He’s still doing that Acting 101 deep breathing. The employees just look on. Couldn’t the guy be arrested for assault and attempted murder? Won’t he try to stab them next?

El L. is blowing off steam. He’s riding at full gallop hollering as he goes. Mari runs to Micaela who seems to be tilling outside and tells her that she thinks she’s going to have to pack up because for sure she’s going to be thrown out of the hacienda. She tells Micaela what happened. Micaela wants to know who it was, but Mari doesn’t know the guy. Miceala says Chamuco.

El L. shows up in the background and yells for Micaela to come. She hustles off and Cande comes up and Mari tells her what happened. Now we see El L. who is lashing the walls of a passageway with his quirt and is telling Micaela that he wants that girl and that woman out NOW.

How did this happen? This episode is giving me whiplash. We seem to be in Elsa’s house and her parents seem to be hiring Beatriz, who was recommended apparently by Eduardo, to help a secretary. Bea says you know I’m expecting and the dad says no problem. The mom says you’ve known Elsa for a long time, haven’t you? Bea says yes. She’s hired. (I thought they didn’t like the art crowd.)

Zip! Back to El L. and Micaela who is saying I can’t just throw them out, I have to call my brother to come get them. El L. says it’s not my problem – get one of the peasants to take them to the station. Micaela says but they’re women alone. El L. says nothing will happen to them. If she’s brave enough to step between two men who were fighting to the death… The things she said to me! Micaela says how could Mari know about Pirana (the guy who pulled the knife), but El L. says I said they could stay if they stayed away from me and they didn’t obey. They have to go.

Micaela nervously points out that the hospitality of the hacienda was always sacred, and now that he’s inherited it, he should honor that. She says let them stay – it’s the first time. He says the first and the last – out they go!

He strides into the courtyard and yells for his horse to be brought. He lashes about with his quirt, knocking over a bucket. He whacks a milk bucket a few times. Mari and Cande come out and watch while he storms around. The horse is brought, he mounts and rides over the cobblestones at a gallop. Micaela says you get to stay this time, but I paid dearly. (Hmm I don’t recall he said that.)

Eduardo and JM are having coffee. JM fills him in on Mari, the padre, and Viv. He’s worried about whether he can cure Viv. We cut to Viv, lying on a hospital bed, staring into space. The nurse leaves and Viv looks dully at the small window in the hospital door. There’s no one there, so she sits up and then slowly smiles to herself. Ah HA! We knew it! Cyber high-five!

Cande, Mari, and Micaela are having dinner in a pretty tile-covered nook. Mari wonders when El L. will be back. Micaela says who knows? She says she’s known him all his life and he’s not as bad as he seems. Besides, Pirana is a bad type, a thief, a traitor. He pulled a knife on El L, did you see that? Mari says no. Cande says believe her. Maybe he’s not so bad. Micaela says, he’s not.

Onelia is in the hospital room, coming Viv’s hair. Viv stares into space. Here comes JM and some nurses, complete with little white caps. Onelia says see? She looks better. JM agrees and hands Viv a mirror to see herself. Viv stares into it. JM tells Onelia he’s made a decision and he’s going to give Viv electroshock. Onelia cries no! and in the mirror we see Viv’s eyes widen.

At castle San Ramon, the nanny is in the foyer looking around, then she gets a big red suitcase on rollers and heads for the stairs. She has on a dirndl-cut dress and we see she has a pretty ample bosom, but we have no clear-cut hints as to whether she is good or evil. But, this being a novela, let’s go with evil for now.

Viv is being hooked up for her electroshock. She’s not doing anything! Boy, she’s brave. Everything is ready and JM is about to hold a shocker to her head (is that how they do it?) when Viv lets out a scream. Onelia jumps a mile.

Avances: I think El L (grooming his horse) and his man are discussing Mari – the fellow thinks she has pretty eyes. Mari is playing with her dove outside and from behind a tree Pirana watches and leers.

Labels: Cuidado

Guadalajara - It's nighttime and someone's sneaking around with a flashlight. Chava peeks out of his closet and watches. The dark figure grabs Chava and yells "I found you, yaaaaaa!!!", ha ha it's only Candy. It's a game and she's the monster, the tickle monster to be exact.

Patricio admires the Guadalajara jewelry, it incredible and sexy. He says it's all so good he needs help deciding what to export. Blah blah Jalisco is known for Tequila and this town will be known for jewelry.

Santiago rests with his little girl sleeping on his chest. Mama Isabel says she's a good girl and takes after her dad. Santi says she's like her mom. Ma disses his ex, it's one thing to leave a husband but a child? Santi thanks her for coming to Guadalajara with them. Isabel can't lie, she's worried about him, he's alone and his heart is alone and cold. He mentions his girlfriend but Ma says Marissa isn't the woman for him. She's an OK bed partner but not a life partner. Hippie ma tells it like it is. Santi looks thoughtful.

Candy tells Chava that tomorrow he'd better be careful because the monster of hugs and kisses is coming for him. Chava listens to her chest to hear her heart and says the monster's not bad because it has a good heart. They make a big deal about him having to go "pipi". I guess to a kid going pee before bed can be important. OK, yeah it is a big deal because he hasn't wet the bed in two nights. I don't blame ma for giving him a lot of positive reinforcement about going pee BEFORE bed.

After Chava runs off to brush his teeth and go pipi she recalls Pato's romantic words a week before their marriage. She thanked him for waiting for her, it meant a lot because he was her first and she wanted him to be her last. This must be the night that Chava was conceived. Apparently she's got a good memory for details after all these years, maybe because it was her first and only time.

Later Candy is pensive; she sees Tio cheek-flap snoring on the couch and tells him to go to bed. Sitting alone on the couch she calls Lulu. She tells Lulu even though she has her two men (son and uncle) she feels alone and sad.

Jorge's got his suitcase packed and is leaving Soledad because the kid Beto isn't his, it was all a lie and she knew all along. Soledad denies it, says she went out with a guy before she went out with Jorge but she never imagined... (As they say in SNL, Oh Really!) She begs him to stay and at least say goodbye to Beto but he refuses. He's going to California and who knows when he'll be in touch. What a jerk, won't even say goodbye to the kid! As he leaves she continues to weep that she didn't know. Good riddance I say.

Isabel puts a photo of John Lennon on the piano and Rocio asks is it grandpa? (Ouch, do I ever feel old.) Isabel laughs and says he was in the Beatles, one of the most famous groups of her generation. Donato the butler tells Rocio that the Rolling Stones were one of the greatest groups. Isabel says, as she lights candles for the John Lennon piano shrine, in this house they do not accept Rolling Stones fanatics.

Santi and his anesthetist friend Eduardo talk about his niece Lucia while discussing plastic surgery, Santi's afraid, she's just an adolescent, should they use a general or local anesthetic? Local of course, answers Eduardo, he adds Santi is overly concerned because Lucia's parents died in a car accident. Santi says he thinks of her as a daughter, he adopted her and she should be obedient. Ed pours a drink for himself and changes the subject, does Santi want to go see Chivas on Sunday? "Blasphemy, Blasphemy!", Santi says he'll only go see Chivas to see them lose against America. Ed admits that since they've been in Guadalajara Chivas has begun to grow on him. Santi takes the booze, thank you amigo. Ed says he knows the look in Santi's eyes, he's found a new love victim. Candida, says Santi, she's resabrrrrrrosa! Santi brags that there are two women in the world, those who have been in his bed and those who will be. Ed asks, well has she? No, but it won't be long, answers Santiago confidently.

Meeeester Raul is doing a foto shoot and corn cob sis with evil eyes is helping. No wait, he's helping her by letting her do fotos to advertise her novio's practice. He says he's known Santi since they were in school and to him women are only a pasttime. He doesn't want to see his sis get used and thrown in the trash. She pooh poohs her bro with her overly-botoxed upper lip that has no shape. Weird.

I guess Meeeester Raul owns the magazine because Tio Meño is bugging him about publishing his niece's fabulous new column called...called...that thing she always says..."Stupid women don't go to heaven"! Raul is intrigued.

Santi runs into Candy on the street and says he was looking for her. Well she doesn't want to see him. He asks what's the prob, he just wanted to invite her to eat, nothing more. Liar, she shouts, you want me to end up in your bed! He wants to know what's so bad about that and she reminds him of his girlfriend. Ha ha just kidding, he lies. She insists she wants no men in her life! He suggests that she prefers women and they can be friends, heh. He punches her in the arm. She punches him back and knees him in the nuts. Oh these wacky kids!

The mariachis sing and Santi talks really fast. He and Candy trade insults and he refuses to leave until she apologizes. No, HE should apologize and he can sit there all day if he wants, she asks him is he stupid 24 hours a day or does he ever rest? Blah blah blah men only think of the bed. He insists he has a brain. Yeah between your legs, she retorts, that why men only think of one thing! The Mariachis celebrate Candy's verbal victory by playing a refrain "que la chancla que yo tiró no la vuelvo a levantar". (Shoes that I throw away I'll never pick up again.)

Isabel tells her nieta that they're going for a cruise in Granny's old hippie bus, Rocio will see how Granny got around when she was young. Donato the butler has a million reasons why they shouldn't go, the bus is old, hasn't been driven in years, needs work. As if Isabel's going to do what he says! She and the kid take off and Donato mutters "Arriba los Rolling Stones!"

We're at the swanky apartments where Pato and Alicia now live. Alicia's ma shows up (with a suitcase), says she's lonely in the DF and gives Alicia a hard time for marrying Patricio. Al says yeah so what he's my husband and what do you want, money? She pretends to throw money at ma and ma says she's felt very bad ever since dad died. Alicia says it's all Candy's fault that dad died. She tells her ma to beat it and ma says she's off to look for dad's brother Meño, she has his address. Alicia's not interested, Dad didn't care about his brother when he was alive much less now that he's dead. Alicia is super cold so we know she's a money-grubbing, man stealing, parent-hating witch. Still, it's kind of crappy that all of a sudden mean old mom shows up just because she's feeling lonely.

Hippie bus plays yeah-yeah music loudly and drives through the city. Not to be too particular, but yeah-yeah music isn't exactly hippie music. Nevertheless Granny and the kid have a great time driving to the park even though the 50's yeah-yeah music doesn't quite match up with the peace sign.

Candy comes home and sees Tío Meño going through some old things. She finds her favorite hideous big-eyed cat puppet "Merengue" in Tío's donation box. Holy crap that thing scared the hell out of me. I'll probably have nightmares about it tonight. Candy wants Tío to play like they used to do when she was a kid. Tío cries because this box of memories reminds him of his brother and how much he suffered when they lived in the DF; his family treated him like trash and gave him the boot and he was alone. That's why he hates hates hates the DF. Ah well, he shakes it off, Fuera de Dolor!

Some lady, a new character, asks a young man why he wants to look for his father. He insists he'll look for dad, he has a right. This must be Meño's kid. His name is Charly. Lady says his dad doesn't even know his name and she doesn't want to discuss it. Charly's managed to find an old foto that will help with later identification. He begs, why can't I meet him?

Guadalajara (I'm not sure why they tell us Guadalajara. Maybe the prior scene was elsewhere?) - Meester Raul tells his secretary to call Fabian in LA and ask what happened to his exclusive interview with Salma Hayek, then he says some la-dee-dah about La Fea Mas Bella being the most popular telenovela in the U.S. He immerses himself in work but looks at a photo of his dead wife. Another broken heart.

I'm not sure about Granny's common sense. She tells Rocio to enjoy her sandwich alone while she (granny) leaves to go for a walk. Is it safe to leave a little girl alone in the park? Two little scamps, Chava and Beto I think, watch Rocio from behind a tree and want her sandwich. Chava has an idea. They sit next to her on the bench and gross her out with their boy talk. One of them has a cold and he's got big booger snots, big green delicious boogers. They're disgusting, all in his mouth and on his tongue. The big green boogers are just disgusting, disgusting! She runs off to granny leaving her sandwich on the bench. The boys dine.

Meester Raul dolefully watches a video of himself and his pregnant dead wife Angela, ahhh...happier days. Marissa comes in and tells him her death wasn't his fault. He says he was too busy working so he made Angela take a taxi. Mari tries to give him a pep talk, Angela died five years ago, you're marvelous, fall in love and get married. Never, he says as he watches the video.

Candy's friend Lulu bursts into the house and is all excited about her internet date. She wants Candy to go with her for a double date. Candy doesn't want to go, she hates that sort of arranged blind date. She teases Lulu about her date with "Juan Tenorio" (Ladies Man). Lulu says fine for Candy but she misses living with a man. Candy's confused, Lulu has never lived with a man. "That makes me miss it even more", Lulu reasons.

Santiago and his friend Eduardo AKA "Juan Tenorio" wait for the chicks to show up. Santi is mortified because Ed is wearing an America hat in Chivas territory, is he nuts? Ed says it's for ID and his date's internet handle is "Hot Moon". Santi laughs...Hot Moon, ha ha. Eduardo is excited when the girls show up, he thinks Candy is his Hot Moon. (Hot Moon? Candy is also amused but not at Ed's America hat.) Lulu interjects that SHE is Hot Moon. Ed quickly grabs Candy and introduces Santi as Juan Tenorio. Candy says he's not Juan Tenorio, his name is Caca de Perro! Lulu hugs Santi, she seems happier with the substitute Juan Tenorio Caca de Perro and who wouldn't be? Santi calls Candy a witch. She repeats his name is Caca de Perro. (Univision bleeped out all the cacas but it was obvious what she said.)

Back at home Santi's niece Lucia tells Granny she studied up on Hippies on the internet and read something about a concert that lasted for days called Woodstock (Ha, my closed captions said "Houston" instead of "Woodstock"), did Granny go? Hell yeah, Isabel says, your grandfather took me and we had a marvelous time. Lucia asks did they believe in free love? Of course, says Granny. Lucia gets excited and Granny back pedals, free love is OK for those who love each other, ahem. Lucia looks hopeful.

Candy makes fun of the way Santi drinks his Tequila like a city boy. She says he puts too much salt on his lime and makes a big deal out of throwing back a shot, what an ugly show! He gets sarcastic, "Oh so now the Tapatia's giving classes to the Chilango and Guadalajara is the city of Tequila, Eduardo Yanez, La Gaviota and Destilando amor, Please!" She's about to bonk his Chilango head with a bottle of tequila and says she doesn't watch telenovelas. She tells him Tequila should be sipped neat and slowly. She demonstrates. He asks why does she hate him? They bicker some more that suburbanites think they're better than anyone else. I'm already growing weary of all their talking. It's funny but not so much when I'm trying to translate every word which I'm about to stop doing.

She starts making weird snipping motions, SSSSSSST! SSSSSSST! Que the hell? he asks. Change of format here to avoid the he said she said:
Candy: "Pruning shears!!"
Santi: Are you a gardener?
C: Ha ha you'll be singing soprano in the choir.
S: Ahhh...castrato. As if you could!
C: Hell yes I could!
S: I'm a plastic surgeon, not a psychiatrist but you hate men. What about your boyfriend? Oh, don't have one? Then maybe a girlfriend?
C: SSSSSST! SSSSSSST! (Snipping motions)
Candy flounces off and Santi chatters to himself, toasts Juan Tenorio and Hot Moon and sings "Ay Gaviotaaaaa." (Heh, good one writers.)

Later on Tío shows Candy her new column "Las Estupidas no Van al Cielo". Wow, that got published quickly. Things really move along here in Guadalajara. She seems surprised at the title which is weird because didn't she have to sign an agreement or write the articles or something? He says he chose it because she says it all the time. He likes it but he wasn't so fond of what she wrote..."Why don't wives know their husband's salaries?" and "Why so much mystery over what they earn?" I'm not sure why he would care but she answers "well isn't it true?"

Eduardo comes back to work and asks why did Santi leave? Santi says because the friend of Full Moon, pardon, Hot Moon left. Ed wonders, "What, she didn't like you?" Santi says "Well of course she liked me but blah blah blah." Sorry I didn't understand at all what he said.

The two little scamps sit on a bench in front of a fountain, think, wiggle their legs, and have to go pipi. What's up with the pipi in this episode? And why are they allowed to say pipi but not caca?

Santi has another beautiful customer who's coming on to him. He says she's got a beautiful bod but he can add a little to her breasts, lift her glutes a little. In the middle of his schtick Candy shows up and says she's been looking for him. Ever since he worked on her she can't, you know, in the morning. "What?" he wants to know. "I can't you know, down there (points to nether regions)." The potential customer gasps. Candy says something about his partner sitting with her on the bed and crying. "You're married?" customer asks. Candy says. "No of course not, you know his 'partner', Eduardo the anesthetist!" Aha.... Potential customer takes off. Candy laughs in Santi's face, he accused her of liking women and she can say the same thing about him liking men. Hahahaha she cackles like a hyena.

The boys see a lady (Candy's mom) checking out Tio's house. "Hey, she's looking at your house" the one kid says to Chava. Meño comes out, sends the kids inside and covers by telling her the boys belong to the cleaning lady and are like kids to him. She breaks the news to him that his brother Clemente died last year. She tries to apologize, "I never considered you a monster", but he waves her off in his grief.

Candy tells Santi he has no morals. He says thanks to her that woman who WAS his patient has gone for good. Anyway, nobody but nobody will believe he's gay. They blab a bunch more, she challenges him and he lays a big fat blubbery kiss on her and she starts sneezing and stuttering, "me me me me me.... " Santi mocks her, "mememememem ha ha ha!" "Me beso!" she cries with cara impactada. "Ha ha now nobody will think I don't like kissing women!" he proclaims.

Meño looks at pictures of Clemente and grieves for his brother. Chava comes home and wants to know why his tío's crying, they say at school that men don't cry. Tío says yes they do cry and crying doesn't make you less of a man. Chava starts to leave then runs back, gives his tío a big hug and tells him he loves him which really sets Meño off crying.

Santiago kisses Candy again and the romantic music plays. He says that second kiss was even better than the other. As he leaves he tells her she needs classes because she kisses very badly, he gives free lessons every morning in his office. She wipes her mouth with her hankie and gasps, "he kissed me two times...two times!"

Tomorrow, another three way argument between Santi, Marissa and Candy. Santi says Candy's a patient with sagging boobies. Candy tells Marissa that Santi kissed her.

Labels: Tontas

The truth shall set you free…
I am a great believer in the truth, without the truth you are treading on quicksand. Sometimes people don’t like the truth, which if fine. Sometimes I don’t tell the truth as in “Does this make my butt look big?”. However, I try to be as truthful as possible when relating this recap. The truth is this, these are some of the most stupid persons to grace a tale. If stupidity could power cars, polar bears would elect Juan President of the Earth. Seriously, we spent the first two nights of this craptastic story, watching Bernardo make sweet Feb/Dec love to young mentally deficient Libia. (Feb/Dec as in not even in the same year). This was barely legal (I’m not actually sure if it would be legal, due to her age and her child like mental state, however I am not versed on the legalities so we will just stick with bad form). Since that time we have endured the same drawn out, overplayed hand. The only thing that has changed is somewhere along the dull endless path, Sofie popped a kid out, Juan went on a sabbatical to visit Indians, who thought he was smart, how sad is that?

Should this be recapped as a lovely tale of star-crossed love, yearning, angst and hope. Nope that was Romeo and Juliet, or maybe Hamlet (see if Sofie is Hamlet & Fer is the Uncle), anyway this is just mindless dribble that goes nowhere until the Gran Fin, which will be presented as a huge happy event and everyone will live happily ever after (as if…these people will still be stupid and fall pray to the next Huckster that comes along).

Okay we start with Juan Dear checking out the new John Deere, he and Oscar are all shades of excited about it. Me too. Next thing you know, these wild Amish boys will be experimenting with zippers, blast those buttons. Pad Tad comes along with a handy bottle of holy water, yes indeed what will protect the small glen from evil? Holy water! Studies show nothing puts a psychotic rapists killer like Fer in his place quite like a good sprinkling of Holy water. Well the tractor and the Reyes have had a through soaking of "Pad Tad's Holy Water" available at the Girl's Craptastic Shop of Unwanted items, right next to the St. Candles and Candles to help you win the lottery.

Meanwhile, Gabi has threatened to throw the daughters into the street. This poses quite a problem…hey kids what is three squared? Yes, I mean squared as in math, not in the backward, hick mannerisms of this backwoods tribe. That’s right, three hijas, + three munchkins, + three “Will work for time off in Purgatory” Catholic Sisters. Egads, they are like a freaking battalion.

Abuelo comes to the rescue, he along with his new main-squeeze lay down the law to Gabi. He will sell his portion of the land. Pa’s new amante chimes in. She says Pa & she are getting married. Gabi is furious.
I saw this very same thing this morning on “Casos de Familia”, except the people are Cuban and they all talk really fast and the unlike Jerry Springer, the hostess gets all up in their business. All I can say is at least Gramps hasn’t impregnated his amante yet.

Don What the Hell’s his name? comes over to chat up the Reyes. You know rich guy with white hair, low forhead & three buxom hormonal daughters or nieces. Wait I think his name is Don Clemente, oh well anyway…it is his daughter’s birthday and she’d like a big heaping helping of Juan Reyes for her birthday.
I know I’d love it if Juan came to my birthday party, in these trying economic time it would save the expense of a pinata. Hold me back cause I’m afraid if I ever once started I’d beat him to death.

Before setting off for the festivities Juan opens the magical trunk of unending Reyes trivia. He pulls out an awesome family crest. OMG, where did that come from? What else is hiding in the box of treasures? I realize that most of you saw the crest, but were unable to read the family motto. Thus after much research and using techniques for enhancing images (sorry this is normally only available to persons with a connection to the CIA) I was able to isolate the family motto. Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem - In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags. How fitting, perhaps the early Reyes noted the Mal effects of interbreeding.
Anyway, Juan pulls down a piece of Craptastic décor and hangs the Reyes Family Crest.

Over at Party Central, the three girls, Julianna (the one who wants to get jiggy with Juan) & Ellie Mae (that being the buxom blonde with way too much make-up) & Latina (I don’t know her name) set out incredible plates of Keebler Club Crackers and cheese spread, plates of lunch meat and other party favorites. Ellie Mae & Latina start teasing Julianna about Juan. Julianna is quite smitten with Juan and she doesn’t care about Sofie, there is nothing between Juan and Sofie (yeah, if you can over look that litter of ninas). Suddenly Julianna looks weak and clutches her stomach. Is she succumbing to that constipated look that freezes the face of everyone who encounters the Reyes clan? No it is only the gut wrenching excitement of Juan the Ulimate Hombre. I sure young JuliAnna is worried about seeming trite or uneducated in the presence of a thinker like Juan.

Now having been a TeleNovela viewer for awhile now, audience stiffen your spines..this girl is living on borrowed time. Anytime you see a scene like that, time to tie up loose ends.

Now we see the tumor head guy, his Ma & his wife. They are reading a letter from his brother. Seems the brother is doing quite well and his Natalie or whatever her name was pregnant.

Now off to the clinic, tumor guy and his wife are concerned that she has not yet become pregnant. Meanwhile some Catholic Sister comes in and gives Doc the results for the Reyes Litter. The Doc reads them and gets a concerned look on his face about one of the Reyes daughters. Can she make her last will and testament in crayon?

Hey jail Dude is out, the one who did time for not killing Ber. So to make a side story short. Padre hires him to help out around the church.

Meanwhile the fiesta is going great, lots of people…eating drinking, having fun. The girls are distressed cause you can’t have an a party of rich landowners without the Kings. Kings, Reyes…get it?
We hear a “Bueno” “Tardes”, see Juan said Bueno & Oscar said Tardes. These guys are so cute, I want to coat them in silver and put them on a charm bracelet. JuliAnna is thrilled beyond belief. She literally wraps herself around Juan. Ellie & Latina proceed to make an Oscar sandwich. Some mention is made of Franco, but beats the hell out of me, where he was. These girls are all just up on it with Juan & Oscar. I just don’t get it. I mean I see other guys there, what is it with the Reyes boys. I mean have all women had some kind of GPS homing device implanted in their nether regions and it points to the Reyes missile?

Okay Doc Doom visits Sofie and gives her the bad news that one of the unrelated triplets has a heart birth defect. Yeah and you thought it was going to be a brain defect. Anyway, I don’t know what the deal is except something will happen before the kid turns two and she may have to have an operation. Sofie of the tear filled doe eyes, tells her sisters and takes off to tell Juan.

She tells Quitana who spills the news that Juan is off, rubbing bodies with someone else, dancing. Have you ever heard of such a thing. Dancing in the broad daylight. Sofie gets that normal Sofie, “God give me strength” look, with her little pink chapped lips and teary doe eyes. She decides to go home rather than seek Juan during his dance fever.

Okay back at the fiesta, Julianna is rubbing all over Juan and trying to get him to dance, he is rather stoic. Suddenly JuliAnna faints, I don’t know if it is her mysterious condition or perhaps a short circuit in her homing device.

Sofie marches into Gabes bedroom as Gabi is painting another one of her psycho everything is black paintings, Sofie tells her one of the kids is sick and she is not leaving, nor or her sisters. She must defend her children and she will fight every step of the way.

Don Clemente confides to Juan that Julianna has been struck by Leukemia, the all encompassing disease that strikes each one of this TeleNovela’s producers storylines…lest we forget La Madestra or Mundo de Fieras? “Juan Cristobel es muy grave”. Pa Clemente days Julianna doesn’t know (maybe she just thinks she is clumsy) and he doesn’t want her to know so her remaining time will be happy. This leads me to believe that she has had no treatment. Probably not the best defense. He wants Juan to help make her happy. Read into this what you will.

Okay I think some time passed as we got to see the always full moon.

Padre Tad is in the church praying. Suddenly he senses the aura of evil. Yep, Fer is home. He comes in and starts hinting around to the Padre. He does a kind of informal confession. Yep he confesses he killed Armando, Dr. Gomez & Ros. He counts them on his fingers. Geez, if he kills anymore he is going to have to start wearing sandels. Of course during all this we hear very dramatic snake rattling. Tad calls him animal of the devil, snake, says he will never get forgiveness. You know the normal things that really make a crazed serial killer rethink their actions. The light on Fer’s face turns the usual red, in case we are sure that Fer is Satan. (This may offend some people, but like I care? Here goes, I get that to be a priest you have to have faith, but no Fer isn’t Satan, I mean give credit where credit is due, like Satan would marry Gabi? Fer is just a bully who gets away with it because he is allowed to. The good and well meaning Padre now knows each and everyone of Fer’s murders and rapes, and all he is going to do is pray on it). Meanwhile he has allowed three toddler girls to live in that house, does “Come to Grandpa” not send a chill up your spine? Fer touches Tad on the chest and Tad has to run into the other sanctuary to have some one on one time with Mary & Jesus. I wonder why Fer didn’t mention he also was boning Raquel? Maybe if you are married to Gabi that isn’t a sin.

Juan is harassing Quintana cause of Sofie stopping by while he was doing his Night Fever act. Eva comes in and tells him the kid is sick.

Juan goes to see Sofie, she is going over the books. The maid can’t let Juan in, he is banished from the house, yet again. Sofie comes out and she is looking all shades of festive, I believe she must be concerned about her womanly charms as it appears she has one of those waist slimmers around her waist, right over her sensible white blouse and long prairie skirt. Here’s a thought, get up off your buttocks and move around a little sister, take care of those three kids you wanted so bad. Anyway, Juan queries the health of the child. Sofie is in full bitch mode, she doesn’t need Juan, she can do just fine by herself. He was off at a dance..a dance can you believe it? Rather than sitting around waiting for Sofie the annoying to summon him. Gawd I hate Sofie, she just screams pious, self reliant, yeah I’d be self reliant too if I had a Rent A Nun. Gabi comes out and starts in, Sofie to make her point grabs Gabi’s arm and says that Sofie does not need Juan for anything, she has her loving family. Good Sofie, Good cause there are other GPS’s tracking that missile. Juan finally gives up and leaves. Gabi kisses Sofie on the cheek.

Elsewhere in the field of dreams, the other two annoying sisters are telling Oscar & Franco, that the boys are dead to them. They are so not needed. You know Jimena creeps me out, she allows has that vacant unblinking look, I can’t tell if she is going catatonic or if she is just stupid.

Once again this episode was lacking a barely clad bathroom scene between adult males, I just can’t understand it, cause nothing says Mexico like men in their forties (well Franco is younger) wearing tighty whitey’s and towel snapping. You know what would be really awesome? Maybe if they put a full Marachi band in the bathroom with them and then they all sang while snapping the towel. Really I don’t understand it? There is a Cable channel in Canada that shows a lot of shows like that, it is called the Outtv channel. Huh go figure?

Now tomorrow, Fer is back, Juan walks into the Dorm and Ruth is back and in bed with a sheet barely covering her, Juan just stares…who knows maybe Sofie left her clothes on. Yeah like that would be a stretch.

Also either Paladin has come to Mexidoon or it is Ricardo Uribe, we see black boots & black pants. After walking for two years Ricky is home.

Labels: Fuego

Pernalete tells DB that the man on the wanted poster (Gonzalo) is being sought by Melenedez. She says that it's a small world.

Mujiquita goes to Altamira looking for Santos but he finds Gonzalo. They are glad to see one another again and Mujiquita tells Gonzalo that his picture is in police stations all over the country and that he should forget about crossing the border. He says that he will keep Gonzalo and Santos apprised of any new developments.

Santos is so happy that DB has thrown out her witchcraft stuff for him that he hugs Eustaquia. Eustaquia assures Santos that DB can change but only if he is by her side. He is her ticket to salvation.

Cecilia is very upset that Antonio is going to marry Federica for spite and it's all her fault. She says she has to do something. Lorenzo comes in and says that he will talk to that imbecile right now. On the way out of the house, Lorenzo has some chest pain. He says, "Not now. These stupid little pains (dolorcitos) are not going to stop me."

Josefa begs Pernalete to talk to Mujiquita. "What I am going to say to him?" asks Pernalete irritated, "You have to love your wife even though she's a harpy? She's a hyena but you have to love and adore her above all things? No." Josefa is afraid that Mujiquita will throw her out in the street but Pernalete is fed up with his women. He tells Josefa and Federica that they will get what they deserve.

The Altamira vaqueros are sharpening their knives in preparation for the expected attack of the Mondgragons (Leon and Tigre). The rebels offer their help but the vaqueros don't seem to value it that highly.

When Leon tells DB that Carmelito will pay for what he did, DB tells Leon, Tigre and Melquiades not to make any problems with the people at Altamira - yet.

Santos tells DB (while kissing and undressing each other) that before he had doubts about her but no more. Now he knows that her love is strong and true. She can change; now he knows that. He tells her that it is like has just seen her for the first time. There is no other woman for him. She is his life, his woman. He loves her.

Lorenzo tells Antonio that he shouldn't marry Federica out of spite. Cecilia thought he was the father of Federica's baby. Antonio replies that Cecilia didn't believe when he swore to her that it wasn't true. She would expect such behavior from someone of his class but now he will get married and have land and cattle. Lorenzo begs him not to kill his love for Cecilia. Antonio says that it is already dead. "The person who is going to suffer for this is you, Antonio Sandoval," says Lorenzo and leaves.

In a post coital chat, DB tells Santos that the the earth shook, did he feel it? He says that it always earthshaking with her. Then DB tells Santos that she knows about Gonzalo and asks Santos why he is hiding him and why did he lie to her. She tells him that she can trust in her as he would in himself.

The priest agrees to marry Carmelito and Gervasio the next Sunday.

The week passes.

DB shows Santos the dress she wants to wear to the wedding. Santos says that he likes it without much enthusiasm. DB asks if he really wants her to go to the wedding. DB says that he doesn't want her to go because it will be uncomfortable for everyone. "But I am your woman," says DB, "they have to accept that." "They will have to accept sooner or later," says Santos, "that where I go, you go. When you return La Barquereña, you will definitely be the señora of Altamira." DB agrees to stay home.

Gervasia tells Genoveva that she knows she liked Carmelito but they are sisters and she doesn't want to fight. Genoveva says that she did like Carmelito but doesn't feel anything for him any more. She is only sad to have Gervasia leave. She loves her very much. They embrace.

At Altamira, Santos tells Gonzalo that in spite of what Mujiquita said, he will get the rebels across the frontier. Lorenzo, Cecilia and Marisela come down ready to go the church for the weddding. Gonzalo tells Marisela that it is too bad he can't enter the Church on her arm because they could get married too. Marisela asks if he ever stops saying stupid things.

DB tells Eustaquia that Santos didn't want her to go to the wedding because it would make everyone uncomfortable. They hate her and Santos doesn't want to upset them. Eustaquia takes DB's calm acceptance of this as a sign she has changed since the old DB would have exploded in rage. DB says that she will endure this because Santos has promised her that she will be the señora of Altamira and then she will send to the devil all those who don't want her at his side. "One day," says DB, "I will be the most important thing to Santos. One day."

The wedding-
Marisela is crying.
Maria Nieves asks Pajarote when he will find a woman. "When frogs grow fur (cuando la rana créi pelos) ," replies Pajarote.
Cecilia tells Lorenzo that she always wanted to have a church wedding. Lorenzo says that he will tell the priest and they can have one. Cecilia replies that there is nothing more pathetic than an old woman in a wedding dress. Lorenzo says that she is his angel and angels don't get old.

BP gets Leon drunk and tells him that everyone is laughing at him because Carmelito took his woman and his baby. Leon crashes the wedding and starts insulting Carmelito and then Gervasia. Then Melquiades comes up behind Leon and knocks him out.
"Well done!" cries Marisela.
"Don't pay attention to him," says Melesio, "Cemeteries are full of drunks and paunchy guys (de borrachos y panzones estan llenos los panteones). Congratulations." He drags Leon off and Melesio calls for the party to begin.

Josefa puts the moves on Leon.

DB tells Eustaquia that she never realized it before but the house is very sad. What it needs is the laughter and songs of a child, Santos' child. When DB is gone, Eustaquia says, "There was a lovely child and you let her go."

At the wedding fiesta, Marisela asks Santos to dance but he says that he has to talk to Melesio. Gonzalo sees his chance and asks Marisela to dance. She makes him promise that he won't rip her clothes off like he did the last time and they go to dance.

Antonio goes to Federica's house and finds her in curlers and with a face mask. He says that if she wants to marry him she has to come to the wedding at Altamira. "Two minutes," says Federica, "I'll just be two minutes."

Gervasia gives her bouquet to Marisela, which means she will be the next to marry, but the terneras rip it to pieces and grab it from her.

Marisela succeeds in getting Santos to dance with her but at that moment, Antonio arrives with Federica on his arm and the party comes to a halt. Santos calls for the music to start and Federica goes to get some punch. The terneras come up around her. They ask her which of the three vaqueros she liked the best. Federica says that if they insult her, she will tell her father and have them arrested. "He will have us arrested for telling the truth?" says Josefina (or Melesia). Marisela comes over and pours a glass of punch over Federica's head. Three of the terneras follow suit in the name of the three vaqueros and Genoveva dumps the whole pitcher on Federica because she feels like it.

Lorenzo and Cecilia leave the party and return to Altamira. Cecilia says that she can't help but be depressed. Loreenzo says that she told him long ago that music was the best medicine for the soul. He urges her to play the piano. She does and we see Antonio listening outside.

Mujiquita bursts in on Josefa and Leon in bed. He says that he will kill them both.

DB goes to the church and kneels in front of the madonna and says that she believed in God when she was young and then the rapists took away her faith. Now she is back and she wants to be good and believe again. Her gods failed her so now she is here, on her knees and she doesn't kneel to anyone. She begs to be able to give a child to Santos.

Santos asks Antonio to save their friendship.

Gonzalo tells Marisela that he is enchanted to see her face illuminated by the fire and the moonlight. He tells her that her face is like the moon and her lips like the fire.

Labels: barbara

OK, we are treated to a montage of scenes past, so it doesn’t matter so much that I missed yesterday’s episode, even though like a million years passed by. We are now in Guadalajara and it turns out that Patricio along with everyone else who used to live in the DF but decided they would all rather be in Guad (or maybe it was that big controversial payment the government gave Televisa to film there....) is going to be working here and the novio stealing wench sis is sliming on her man when Papa Doom shows up and wonders que the heck.

On another side of town our plastic surgeon alias raison d’ show watching is shacking up also in Guad with his new curly headed chica and his now grown daughter.

Tio bueno is getting appreciated in an empty house for all he’s done for this "friend" Juan Alberto who is leaving town. He later tells the story to Cande about how close they are but they have only been friends. I think Televisa has just recently discovered hair extensions because it seems like all the shows lately when time has advanced or regressed has the women with much longer hair.


Santi is telling his daughter and (who is this other young girl?) that he’s going to like it in Guadalajara and so will they. Daughter agrees. He seals it with the famous mariachi song, Guadalajara, Guadalajara, Guadalajara!!!! You will soon find out that it is one of my favorite cities in Mexico as well. For those of you who didn’t happen to see my very late comment to Ferro, allow me to repeat....Viva las Chivas!!!!!!!!!

But I digress, so now we are walking through downtown and the girls are asked if there is anything else they would like and they say yes salchipulpos. Yum....love these.....literally "sausage octopus" Really, it’s just a hot dog of sorts and they quarter half of it and when it’s fried up the "legs" curl up and it looks like an octopus. Sort of. Especially when it is served on a bed of thin french fries that kind of looks like seaweed and covered with like Valentina hot sauce or lime mayo.

Again I digress, I admit, I’m sort of hungry right about now.

I think Cande is late for meeting her son at soccer so she freaks out and goes running to get him.

Ok, so Papa meanie comes in and sees Whore sis writhing all over Patricio and gets the explanation she is his wife for like a year now. Hmmm, I’d probably be a little perturbed if my son had married for a year and I didn’t know, forget the fact that she’s a skank and it’s clearly an office location. Anyway, he tells him this is the worst mistake of his life (I thought marrying Cande was but I guess he’s moved on from that). Pat explains he cares for her, and she’s by his side and understands him. Note, he doesn’t say loooovee. Yeah, this doesn’t seem to persuade Pa, he thinks maybe it was because she looks like the dead one.

I swear Santi is driving the Tomas Mora car from Fea, the girlfriend will gladly take care of it for him today.

OK, this next scene makes no sense at all. Santi sees Cande and starts to talk to her. This must be what Judy was talking about edits. It looks like they argue about something and maybe it is the caca he stepped in? Apparently you tube has more on this so I’ll try to find it. Actually Paula sent me an e-mail with it, so here are scenes that make this more sensical....

Anyway, they go up and down in an elevator arguing about who should apologize to who and a bunch of extras are scared out the place by some sort of smell.

Once they get back down to the bottom, Tio shows up and breaks up the spat. Tio recognizes Santi as the surgeon to the stars. Santi wonders if Tio knows the girl and he tells she’s his niece and she’s starting a business here but won’t be competition for him. He then asks when he can have a "lift" and asks him what the price would be, and Santi tells him it will depend on whether or not he can get his niece to apologize and accept apologies.

Cande makes it to the soccer game only to get a red card for yelling at the ref. She hugs her son but encourages the team to have fun anyway.

In Santi’s office, he is giving a hands on consultation to a woman who wants "them" lifted and bigger. She wants a "deeper review" because she needs to get to know her doc better if he’s going to be cutting her and he apparently agrees owing it to his mother to making him so attractive. I swear the photo he looks at when saying this is Crabby from Fuego.

He calls out to none other than our Paula from Fea secretary that it’s "time out" time. She apparently knows that code and proclaims him incorrigible. Her name here is Horty well Hortensia. A guy walks up and also learns it’s time out time.


Pachulito is playing golf and thanking some Japanese guys when Santi’s mother recognizes him having not seen him for years. She reads off the family accomplishments, including that one of her sons died.

Soledad wonders why her husband made her miss her sons's soccer game. He comes in looking like death warmed over. Turns out he has just learned that he is sterile. Seems he always was, so their son simply couldn’t be his. Doh!!!! She swears she didn’t know. There is much crying about this.


Cande is yelling at the boys to go take a bath because they must always do so after playing soccer.


OK, now the revelations finally. Horty is surprised at the doc’s behavior because he never did this in the DF, and he says, yeah and he was married then, BUT NOW HE IS an abandoned man, a bachelor.

We then learn who the other little (well, younger) girl is, she is Lucia and she is the cousin, her parents, the brother of Santi and aforementioned son of Santi’s Ma died in an accident and that’s why she lives there. Lucia calls her Tio and wants to go out with her friends, she’s bored. He tells her no, she should study instead. She says her dad was better. Ouch.

We later see Lucia stealing (ok borrowing) one of the cars.

OK, so we also confirm that Soledad is a friend of Cande. She calls to talk to her about picking up the boy.

Tio tries to convince Cande that she should meet this surgeon because he might be able to help her. She reminds him there’s no way she would be interested her sister. Tio tells her sis died because she didn’t have money and wasn’t even operated on by a real doc, instead a charletan. Cande says she just wanted to be thinner and she ended up dead. Anyway they argue about this and she tells him there is no institute and will be none y punto. They continue to discus the virtues or not of platic surgery.

Our next blast from the past is Tomas Mora himself, only this time his name is Zamora, cute. He and the other waiter are chatting about their jefe.

Thanks for waiting for the rest. I managed to dodge a round of layoffs yesterday and I am just very thankful for that -but I still feel the pain of my colleagues who were less fortunate. Or maybe they are the lucky ones as they can enjoy the holidays without having to worry about taking time off or trying to get everything done. Well, you know I have to look for the brightside. My internet diversionary days are going to be severely limited going forward though. Definitely the time to be grinding away at the axe and not juegando con los recaps demasiado. You no soy Tonta, ni creo que voy a irme al Cielo, al menos todavia .... :)

Anyway, I digress yet again.

So the waiters are chatting to each other....wondering if their jefe is really as he seems. Zamora thinks the only woman he ever held in his arms was his Mommy. The other guy thinks maybe he has a secret novia. They bet on it and decide to go ask him. What they ask is funny, if he had the choice between essentially a banana smoothie or a bottle of tequila, which would he choose. He says the banana smoothie. Zamora makes a nod. The next question is what was the name of his first girlfriend. He responds Adela, his mother, because all little boys are in love with their mother first. Really? Is that true? Hmmmmm..... Now it's Tio's turn to ask the question and wants to know if he should throw them out now, or at the end of their shift. they of course think later is better and scram.

Doc Santi is telling Horty about the air conditioning not working in one of the recovery rooms when who shows up but Tio Meno. He wants to know about "lifting" and slyly asks Santi if he is still interested in Cande's forgiveness..... :)

Ok, turns out Lucia cracked up the beemer she uh, borrowed and with her luck, she hits a police officer. She's trying to reach Santi to bail her out of this mess. Good luck with that one chica.

Back at home, Santi's curly headed novia Marissa is looking for him and no one has seen him there. She calls Horty and learns he went to a restaurant. She is apparently going there to find him and takes the daughter. Ma takes this opportunity to tell us that she doesn't think Marissa is for her son. Just then they get the call that Lucia is in trouble.

At the restaurant, Cande is dressed as a waiter. Her Tio tells her that the magazine that writes his horoscopes called him and he gave them her article and if the director approves it she can get a column in it. She smiles but he is more enthusiastic than she is, she didn't give him permission. He says she can use her studies. So we get to learn that actually, she studied literature so she can write a book. He thinks that can wait and she can earn some money now. The cook is excited she might know someone famous but she is silenced and returned to her pozole cooking.

Next we see Santi on the phone with his Ma. Next thing we know he interrupts the mariachis singing Un Tiburon and begs Cande's forgiveness again.

In another part of the city, We see Patricio pulling out his old wedding ring and reminicing about Candi. Of course skanky sis comes upon this and doesn't like that she's competing with a dead chic. Who would? Anyway she throws some green his way and wonders why he married her if he can't forget her sis, well he basically says she's not coming back and he likes all that she gives. Hmmm...

Santi continues with his begging and Candi is about to throw him out when the girlfriend and daughter show up. They want to know why he is dressed this way. He thinks he looks great. Candi intervenes that he doesn't even know what to say to you lady with corn cob hair. She responds, "Well for your information Miss Skinny, this lady with corn cob hair is his girlfriend" Candi responds that this skinny has a name, Candi, and she is the girlfriend of no one. Santi is happily surprised and confirms that she's also not married. She sneezes and the whole band blesses her. Marissa wonders why he cares if she is married.

Candi continues to tell her that he came to offer his apologies and they launch into the whole dog sh** mess, again censoring the word for us. She keeps on sneezing and Mari asks her if she has the flu or allergies. Candi says she has allergies to men who seduce her. Mari wonders who that would be and Candi says duh, the plastic surgeon here. The daughter keeps interjecting and this time says yeah that's obvious. He denies it and says he's a one woman man blah blah, and she says yeah and cows fly. Little girl says cows don't fly, Papi.

He says he never lies but she says all men lie (Tio objects though and she quiets him) and says, yeah how is a man who never lies like the three kings? Simple, neither exist. (For those of you who don't know, if children exhibit good behavior, on the Feast of the Ephiphany in Mexico the three kings will bring them gifts.) Little girl interjects, the three kings exist Papi and he says of course they do along with Santa Claus and agrees it's time for them all to go. Little girl recognizes Candi as the Ma of her friend Chava. Tio suggests this man wants something to do with her. She says she already has something to do with him, allergies. As she walks away Tio agrees she's fallen for him too.

Outside, Santi has more 'splainin' to do about his actions he thinks he looks cute as a charro (I'd agree) but corn cob novia wants an apology for him visiting this place. he then gets the call that Lucia is in jail.

Patricio is getting a tour of the famous center for jewelry in Guadalajara and tells the woman his hope is to export to the whole world. She assures him he'll find the best here.

Anotherr couple is arguing about working and doing chores and the woman is going to find work outside of the home so they will have to split up doing the chores. Man is not so thrilled. Not sure who these people are yet....

Down at the jail, looks like Santi has to be responsible for the damage his niece did. He didn't know she took the car though because he was at a show. The guy asks if he is an artist and he says well actually I'm a plastic surgeon. The guy says lies aren't necessary and you'll have to get a good lawyer because you need to pay for all this. Lucia says she's sorry, but he doesn't believe it; he thinks if she was really sorry she would have obeyed him. And here is where we are left off with scenes for tonight.

Thanks again for waiting!!!

Labels: Tontas

I watch the opening credits of this train wreck I call FELS Hell, and I ponder; how could so many things go wrong with a show that from the outside had so much going for it? The answer: the writers put pen to paper.

What seemed to be the musical auditions for Barney & Friends ended up being the welcome-home ceremony for the newly-united family. So the deal is each girl gets paired up with an orphan kid; sort of like BigBros. Big Sis., except no urban rejects. Everyone is happy in a 70’s/backwoods sort of way; Sofia wore her hair just like she did for her fourth-grade class photo, Juan thought we were going golfing, and Eva decided that pulling back one’s hair really does limit the functions of the brain, so she let it down. Juan made special party favors with baked-from-the-heart treats so everyone would always remember this auspicious event. Most importantly, this scene shows that white Mexicans eat speck food just like all the other “campesinos,” and there’s certainly nothin’ wrong with drinking from a jar and a dipper. It touched my hear when the Reyes bros. delivered their rendition of “Fuego en la sangre” accompanied with the random mariachi group that was also celebrating. You just can’t get good lip-syncing anymore… Sarita got to show her worth, too, and sung her meaningless, repetitive, and wholly reflective ballad of her and Franco’s tumultuous and juvenile relationship. [I thank God for all the singing and dancing because I don’t recap this DisneyWorld-SixFlags crap]. My personal favorite was Gramps’s ballad to Santa. Imagine Carol Channing as a bass—not pretty either way. Volver fans: notice that Raimunda sang “Volver” and Gramps sings “Vivir.” Happenstance? Would the writers be that talented? I think not.

Some receding-hairline woman comes up to Oscar, Franco, and their respective women counterparts and comments on their lovely relationships. Everyone kisses and coos, but when the woman leaves, so do the terms of endearment and physical engagements. Seems that nothing is what it seems…

In the meantime, and it’s all meantime around this joint, Pablito is, yet again, rejected (story of my life), Gramps tells Santa that he is happier than ever to be a great-granddaddy, and Santa is happy to rekindle the pilot light that was scandalously ignited so many years ago. Nothing like waiting-out your withered marriage until your wife dies in a staged car crash and years later finding the one you’ve always preferred.

When your name’s Coyote you have lunch for two at a table for eight. To Gabi, El Coyote is the embodiment of a gentleman; to me he’s the epitome of a creepy troll, but whatever trips your trigger. Anyhow, Gabi yearns to learn more about this strapping bald eagle, and what’s more, the mystery is killing her and only serves to fuel the passionate flame of lust and intrigue burning in the innermost regions of her cold, shriveled body. How’d I do?

I don’t want to tell people what to do, but just know that it is never a good excuse to remain in a marriage or relationship “for the kids’s sake.” Case in point; everyone on this show. Sofia sort of understands this, but Juan still wants to pretend to be happily married, or whatever they are, in front of everyone. Apparently, there are truths that kill. Whatever that bull shit means… Might I add; when you have a party and no one ate any of your food, that means that it sucked and they hated it. Maybe Juan will think once about baking for his next blow-out occasion.

The only one who ever could eat Juan’s baking was Special-ed. Sofia. (She mainly ate it for the roughage.) As you all know, she has an innate ability to smell Juan’s bakery and then make him appear before our very eyes. When he does, he confesses that, as always, he doesn’t know what to do. As always, she smiles coyly and Vicente Fernandez sings that damn song which I hate. There’s no holding back, Sofia tells Juan that she loves him, but she can’t stand by him if he keeps thinking about this silly idea of her beloved, innocent father killing that little tramp sister of his. It just isn’t true, and that’s why you must leave forever. But don’t worry; I don’t hold any animosity against you. See, that shows that she really loves him if she can admit it and then send him packing in the same breath. She gives him the engagement ring as a symbol of her determination to resist all carnal temptations. He kisses her forehead and she remains strong, but eventually breaks down to the fetal position and starts to cry. What else can she do?

El Coyote is thought-bubbling to himself; bit by bit I’m winning you over, Gabi, bit by bit until I get you where I want you and you fall apart. Gabi is thinking about El Coyote and wonders why he’s so mysterious; can that be good? Can all that box merlot be good for your heart condition?

Uh oh. Gabi is threatening the picture of Fernie again… We have to get that woman back on her meds. and off that alcohol. She tells the picture that if it doesn’t get its ass back here soon, she’s going to have to leave it behind for El Coyote.

So the girls are doing their domestic chores in ol’ sis Sofia’s room when an urgent letter arrives from the big city. It seems that Sofia is going to have to specify which of the bastard orphans she actually popped out that stormy, confusing night many moons ago. If she doesn’t do it, she’ll lose the inheritance to Gabi’s able hands. I guess now she’ll have to be a little nicer to her “mother” seeing that she’s certainly not willing to submit her “children” to DNA testing not only because she doesn’t know what that is, but also because there is a risk that her favorite “daughter” might not be her bio. daughter. No, Sofia, we do not get to pick our children, but then again, how could anyone be so lucky to have me as a son?

It’s a grave, heart-shattering morning over at the Reyes household. Juan lost his girl, Oscar has to move out of the one-bedroom house, and there is no way that Juan can possibly sleep without Oscar. But, you see, Oscar and Jimena must live together for, dare I say it, the children’s sake. No one wants to do it, and the kids will surely suffer, but the Probate courts always know best, especially when Gabi is paying them hand over fist.

As I supposed, Sofia will not submit her children to the DNA testing because she “loves them all equally.” It’s a nice sentiment, but get real puhleeze. Gabi, who at least has the courage to speak the truth, tells her three daughters that you never really want to invest much in your kids because it’s usually worthless, and many times comes back to bite you in the butt. (How true.) But how do you know, Mom?, asks Sarita. “I’ve freakin’ lived it!” Oh, that’s classic.

What do the girl’s do when they can’t get their way? They run to Gramps, who, in all his wheel-chair majesty, has the ability to turn that frown upside down. Mommy wants us to leave the mansion, and we don’t want to. She also wants Sofia to do a DNA testy thingy and nobody knows what that is, so will you stop her? OMG, all those urban youths on the Maury Show love DNA tests; with 99.9999999999% accurate tests, who wouldn’t? Notice it’s always the daddy’s fault? Moving on, Gramps tells Sofia to sue her mom, but Sofia doesn’t have the balls to sue her “family member.” Well then, why don’t you just do the DNA test? I will not subject my daughters to that evil, forward-thinkin’ machine that ruins family values and raises reality-television ratings. I just won’t.

PETA Watch! PETA Watch! Oscar is prying some poor creature with a goad so that it will pull a plow. The animals just won’t budge, and that makes Oscar prod them even harder. Juan, a concerned, ethical naturalist, makes Oscar stop his unruly behavior and take a peek around that bush over there. It’s a tractor! Woohoo! Then he tells Juan that the Elizondo girls have been kicked out to the curb, and it takes them five minutes of arguing to propose putting them up in the Reyes mansion. No, that wouldn’t work. Of course not, you only sleep with them, adopt kids with them, and pretend to be married. Anything else would be out of the question. Then again, they would probably make all three Elizondo girls sleep on cots in the same room, wearing nothing but their undies.

Gramps reproaches Gabi for giving the boot to the girls, but I have to agree with Gabi on this one; the girls are in their thirties and its time for them to move on to bigger and greener pastures. Gabi calls Gramps crazy and Santa walks in saying that he’s only crazy in a healthy, sexual way, unlike you, bitch. Gramps threatens to sell his half of the hacienda, and Santa is now allowed to chew out Gabi because she and Gramps are getting married. Gabi’s pissed because the hacienda has always been in the family, and that’s why she wants to write Gramps a check then and there. No, you either let the girls live here, or I sell my share to some stranger.

Tomorrow; some chickadees are throwing a big party, it’s probably just like the one today, and they aren’t going to let Juan escape without grinding on his body, kissing him, or combing his hair with their self-manicured fingers. Sofia finds out that Juan’s at this “dance” and is deeply troubled because it’s one of those dances where people’s bodies touch and hug. God save Sofia! You will probably like this episode, mama, since you love Cesar Evora nekkid and other things of that nature… ;-)

Labels: Fuego

We start off at Ceci's house where she tells Estephania that she could not find Marichuy.

Cande, PA, Marichuy and PA's sister are having dinner. PA notices that Marichuy has not touched her food in which she answers that she is not hungry. She asks to be excused to walk around outside. While walking she comes across a hurt dove and she picks it then sits down. El Leopard comes across her and asks who she is. He tells her that the owner does not like to see strangers on his land and Marichuy runs off.

Balbina tells JM that a lady is here to see him about the nanny position.

Cande is waiting outside anxiously for Marichuy who comes running up to her. Marichuy tells her about her encounter with a strange man.

The lady's name is Blanca Silva and JM interviews her for the nanny position.

The lady with the rollers and her friend spot Olga in the street on the corner and yell out "Loose woman". We told your daughter that you are a hooker. They cross the street and Olga slaps each of the woman and tells them not to mess with her. (this was funny) She continues walking down the street and Cande's neighbor (do not know her name) calls to her and Olga tells her that the Velardes are Marichuy's parents.

JM hires Blanca to watch over Mayita.

Olga and Cande's friend are talking about how the Velardes treated Marichuy while she was residing in there home. Adrian runs up and asks if they have seen Cande or Marichuy. Cande's neighbor says that they left Mexico and do not know where they went. Olga informs Adrian that the Velardes are Marichuy's parents.

PA sister tells them that the owner sometimes stays out late and she may not be able to talk to him about them staying until the morning. She tells them that she will make up a couple of rooms and will talk to him first thing in the morning. Cande offers to help PA's sister fix up the rooms. PA assures Marichuy that she will be staying there and not to worry.

JM and Blanca are talking about Mayita. He tells her about her duties in regards to Mayita and that she has to live at the house which is no problem to her.

Eduardo comes into the library and meets Blanca. When she leaves Eduardo asks JM who she is. JM informs him that she will be Mayita's nanny. JM asks him what he thinks. He says nothing. She is not ugly or pretty. JM says that it was his intention to hire someone who was not interesting or who had a forceful nature.

Amador visits Nelson and Elsa. Elsa asks him about Marichuy and he tells them that Marichuy disappearred and left Mexico.

Marichuy hears a horse and evil laughter and sits up in bed.

Amador tells Nelson and Elsa that Marichuy is the real daughter of the Velardes.

Isa calls Estephania and complains about the house cleaning that she has had to do. She asks if Estephania has gotten to stay but Estephania tells her that Ceci is still suspicious of her and wants her to leave. Ceci also wants to bring Marichuy to live at the house but Marichuy has disappeared.

Marichuy wakes up Cande and tells her about the noises that she hears. Cande is half asleep and babbles then goes back to sleep.

Ceci tells Patircio that Marichuy has left and no one knows where she is. Ceci thinks that she left because she found out that they are her real parents. Patricio snottly says that she should be happy about finding out. Not really Ceci answers back because of what happened while she was here, how you treated her and how I did not defend her. Maybe she moved in with JM. Patricio tells Ceci that it is not possible since JM's first wife Viv is back.

JM remembers back on the night of the wedding when they are on the beach. He says that he should seek her out. He misses her and cannot forget her.

Marichuy is outside sweeping with Cande sewing. They talk about Marichuy growing belly, if they can stay there and how scared Marichuy was the night before.

JM is examing Viv and Eduardo asks him what he thinks. JM thinks that Viv returning back to the house might help her.

Estephania goes to JM's house and finds Amador waiting to speak with JM about Marichuy. Why asks Estephania. Because Marichuy is having JM's baby. Estephania takes Amador to the library to talk further.

Marichuy runs into El Leopard and he asks what is she doing in his house. Marichuy tries to tell him to ask PA's sister but no he wants to hear it from her. PA's sister runs up and says that she has been waiting for him so that she can talk to him.

In the library Amador tells Estephania that Marichuy left so that JM would not find out about the baby. Estephania asks him why he wants JM to know. Amador says that the baby is in the way of Marichuy's career and if JM takes the baby away he can get her back. Estephania tells Amador that it is not in the best interest for him to find out since Viv is now back. While they are talking JM comes home and Balvina informs him that Estephania and Amador are in the library talking. Estephania says that if JM finds out about the baby then he will want to get back together with Marichuy and then will not permit her to become an actress. Just then JM comes into the library wanting to find out what Amador wants. JM asks Estephania to leave them so that they can speak and she tells him that Amador is here for the same reason that she is. To inform him that Marichuy has disappeared.

El Leopard is not happy that there are woman in his house. PA's sister asks permission for them to stay so and that they will not be in his way. He says okay as long as they leave him alone.

PA, Marichuy and Cande are having breakfast and PA's sister says that they can stay.

Estephania tells JM that Amador came to find out if he knew where she went. Amador believes that he does not know where Marichuy is and leaves. JM wonders where she went.

PA wants to thank El Leopard for letting Cande and Marichuy stay there. She says that she will relay the message. PA remembers meeting him several years ago and his sister tells him that he is not the same guy he use to be. She admits that at times she is scared of him.

Blanca comes to start work and encounters Onelia. Onelia spits her venom and leaves.

PA and Marichuy are outside walking and talk. He promises to visit and check on her. They hug.

JM tells Mayita that she has a nanny. Mayita looks upset and when JM asks why she says that she does not like anyone except Marichuy. He makes a promise to her that if she does not like Blanca then they will find another. He will be very busy and needs someone to care for her. He informs her that her mother is back. Balbina informs JM that Patricio is here to see him. Patricio asks JM if he knows where Marichuy is.

PA thanks his sister for everything and assures Cande that he will be back soon. Marichuy begs PA not to forget them and they walk him out.

Back at the castle Patricio asks if JM is hiding her since Viv is now back. JM is offended and tells Patricio that they are no longer together. Then why did she leave asks Patricio. JM says that he does not know.

El Leopard creeps up on Marichuy and startles her. Marichuy asks why they call him El Leopard.


Tomorrow: Ceci asks if PA knows where Marichuy is. And Marichuy yells at El Leopard to stop whipping an animal.

Labels: Cuidado