Friday, September 07, 2012
Weekend Discussion: Mandatory Forgiveness and Its Evangelists
Disclaimer:
I am not a practitioner of any organized religion, nor was I
raised in one. I know that the ability to grant forgiveness is a
primary goal in most organized religions, but if “To err is human,
to forgive divine” I will leave forgiveness to the angels.
We are
always being told that forgiveness is for the forgiver rather than
the person who offended him or her; forgiving is letting go to avoid
living with rancor and hate. I can buy that notion if the offending
act was committed in ignorance of the resultant suffering, whether
the offender simply did not know the person would be offended or if
s/he lacks the mental capacity for understanding such things. I can
accept the idea of forgiveness if the offender apologises sincerely
and makes amends (even if that can only mean getting out of the
injured party's life). I cannot extend the same absolution to
persons who knowingly commit malicious acts regardless of their
motives for doing so.
Unconditional
forgiveness can only happen after the death of the transgressor, if
the person whom he or she offended need to do this to get on with
life. It makes no logical or social sense to forgive a living person
if they have not made a concerted and sincere effort to change their
behavior, especially if this person is still going to be part of the
injured party's life. A person like that takes forgiveness as a
license to continue the behavior.
I wonder
whether most Forgiveness Nazis are very religious and/or whether
their ability to forgive has ever been put to any real test. How
many of them had severely toxic parents, were bullied in school, were
betrayed in love, or were cheated in their workplaces? I'm going to
bet that very few did. Nobody like that is qualified to preach
forgiveness to the rest of us.
Dr Susan
Forward, in her book Toxic Parents tells the reader
“You don't have to forgive.” Her opinion (based on her patients'
cases) is that forgiving often prevents the offended party from
facing the music and doing the necessary psychological work to
correct what the offenses against them have done. Instead, they
forgive as though this were the magic that takes away their pain
because it's what their clergyman says God tells them they should
do. And ten years later they wonder why they still have the same
problems.
That is
what novela characters often do, including when it is undeserved.
In the
Fairy-Tale World of Telenovelas
There is a
variety of examples on the application of forgiveness and instances
where it is skirted over:
Triunfo
del Amor
Bernarda
was evil enough in her hypocrisy to earn the privilege of
excommunication... and clever enough to get it reversed later by a
cardinal in the presence of the bishop who excommunicated her. That
takes a unique level of evil.
I thought I
heard Victoria and Maria both say they had difficulty forgiving
Bernarda. Maria rejected Bernarda in the later episodes and
Bernarda's death prevented any statement of forgiveness. I'm sure
Maria and Victoria were fine with that.
Juan Pablo
wanted to forgive her; he was taught in the seminary that forgiveness
is all-important. The fact that she was his mother made this an
impossibly frustrating situation for him. I think that in some way
he was also trying to get her to love him; I doubt she ever truly
did. He was a means to an end for her. The future happiness of
Maria (no longer desemparada) with Max and their children was his
reward for suffering so long with such an impossibly evil mother.
Her death released him.
In this
case we could say “To err is human, to forgive is asinine.”
Corazón
Salvaje (2009 version)
When
Rodrigo is arrested at the end, he realizes he has grossly mistreated
his surviving daughter and her lover. He begs their forgiveness and
gets it. He does seem genuinely remorseful and he is in no position
to do them any more harm. Whether he was at peace when he died
shortly after that is debatable.
Interestingly,
in Yo Compro Esa Mujer he was unrepentant. Anna Christina
does not forgive him, but this might be because she has no idea where
Rodrigo and Mathilde are in the finale episode.
Fuego en
la Sangre
Gabriella's
daughters forgive her after she's dead (or buried). By then they
know she was a sick bitch and they have the comfort of knowing that
they were not the cause of her evil and that she can harm them no
more. Juan even says that he hopes God gives her what she deserves.
The brothers later made the same comment about Fernando when he
committed suicide. That is more realistic in my book because they
recognize unrepentant evil and know that only death ever ends it.
They and their loved ones are now safe from it with all their enemies
dead and they need dwell no more on it.
Padre Tadeo
had trouble with both of the arch-villains of this tale, eventually
to the extent of refusing to listen to their “confessions.”
Gabriela was excommunicated in his presence, perhaps at his
recommendation. She gave him no reason to regret that decision.
En
Nombre del Amor
Carlota
Espinosa de los Monteros certainly deserves no forgiveness, mental
illness notwithstanding. However, she was forgiven by Rufina in the
manner prescribed to us. Rufina gets closure and never has to lay
eyes on her again. There is no final meeting between Carlota and
Paloma before we see her turned on her side in the wheelchair.
Macarena probably forgave her before she died, but didn't get a
chance to say it.
Carlota
would be steeped in her hatred until death, whenever that would come
for her.
La Que
No Podia Amar
In this
tale it is easy to see who does and does not deserve forgiveness.
Bruno is an
easy case to decide; he deserves no forgiveness. His actions were
malicious and he wasn't sorry for a single one of them. He murdered
two people, tried to murder others, and embezzled money over a period
of years. He is possibly the reason Rogelio didn't get out of the
wheelchair. For that the only relief Rogelio gets is that Bruno will
never hurt anyone else again because his prison sentence will
actually result in his own death by way of prison violence. Rogelio
gets justice, but he doesn't need to forgive Bruno. Nobody else
should, either and we are not told whether anyone did.
Cinthia is
mentally ill, but legally competent in the sense that she understands
she committed crimes. She caused several deaths and almost killed
Ana Paula. That deserves no forgiveness. Maria forgave her numerous
times until she saw that it did no good. I also don't recall any
mention in of forgiveness with regard to her once she was finally
caught and incarcerated at the end. We are spared visits to her in
the prison by those she hurt and there was no discussion of forgiving
her because of her mental state.
Is
Vanessa's repentance real? I think so. She therefore earned Ana
Paula's forgiveness. She needed it big time because they are each
other's only relative at that point. Also – despite her earlier
selfishness – she had a conscience. It just took 168 episodes to
wake it up.
Rosaura may
or may not have repented; we will never know whether her final speech
to Ana Paula was sincere or not. Her actions caused the domino
effect throughout the story and cost several lives. That makes it
difficult to assess in view of her fear (which we knew). If she had
not had the nightmares that drove her to confess to Ana Paula, she
may never have confessed to anyone. This may have saved what is
left of her life. We don't know what her sentence was, only that she
was sure she would not survive it because of Cinthia (who should have
been locked up in some form of solitary confinement for everyone's
safety). Possibly she was playing for sympathy one last time. Ana
Paula should not have forgiven her, but did not comment on the
others.
Abismo
de Pasión (as of the week of 9/3/12, US airings)
This
disorganized tale has three females and two males who do not deserve
forgiveness:
Alfonsina
may not be as delusional as Roselena, but she has committed some of
the same crimes against Damian. She sent him away when he most
needed a parent and has done many things to prevent him being with
the woman he loves including (but not limited to) conspiring with the
spoiled brat he is currently married to. She refuses to entertain
any notion beyond the lie that Estefania was her husband's other
woman and compounds that sin by insisting that the innocent Elisa
(who is still a virgin in Episode 125) is also a slut. Early in the
story she was willing to have Gabino run over Damian's three friends
before his own eyes when she was taking him away; later she connived
to steal Elisa's lands.
Ingrid
abandoned her son and later taught her own daughter to be a scam
artist like herself. She walked away from Kenia when she was
critically injured with no more thought than if she were highway
roadkill, and manipulates her own son with no thought of danger to
him.
Carmina
outdoes both of them. She sullied her sister's good name, abuses her
niece, and encouraged the girl's father to abuse her emotionally as
well. She has forged medical reports to further the estrangement
between Elisa and Augusto. She has killed twice and may do so again.
Nothing will save her from the deepest level of hell at the end.
Augusto
should have been forgiveable, but was not. He should have known
better about his beloved Estefania. At any time in the 15 years
since her death he could have had a DNA test to prove that Elisa was
his child, but chose not to. She forgave him, but should not have
done so that quickly. Someone should think about this, however, if
anyone still thinks he committed suicide.
Gabino
should never be forgiven. He's amoral and appears to enjoy killing
and rape. He does anything to further his greed. It is too far from
the end for him to remain in a coma or to end up in a persistent
vegetative state so it will be a while before anyone needs to decide
whether to forgive him or not.
Un
Refugio para el Amor (as of the week of 9/3/12, US airings)
Roselena is
completely unrepentant of her actions. The justice system would send
her to prison for at least 20 years for the kidnapping of Luciana and
the desecration of two graves. Divine justice will take care of her
for breaking up the marriage of her firstborn. She would do it all
over again, she has refused to see a psychiatrist, and she knows how
to play the guilt card. She refuses to see that Max didn't cheat on
her with Aurora. Her “love” for her children is selfish and
possessive. She may believe that Jana should be the Tita of her
family and attempt to prevent her having any romance in her life.
Since Patricio is so vulnerable she may harm him in order to prevent
facing the law. With Rodrigo exiting the house for good she will
have a stranglehold on her two younger children, so if Jana has at
least normal intelligence she should bolt as soon as she is legally
of age.
Roselena's
hypocritical confession in this week's episodes was a massive
manipulation. During her next private conversation with the priest
she will still refuse to repent, as she did in front of Rodrigo, and
he will say the same things to her he has all along: No absolution
without repentance. She tricked premature forgiveness out of Jana
and Patricio, but that can't last long.
Mati keeps forgiving and enabling Roselena because she is in denial.
If Max
doesn't have Roselena committed now he is putting himself and his
children in further danger from her delusions and what she does to
maintain them. If she does any more harm to Luciana Rodrigo may hold
him responsible for not taking action and we will agree with him.
Max could
go to prison for what he did to Claudio, who is being a saint for not
insisting upon it and for not wanting to take the 50% of the company
or any of Max's personal fortune. It could be argued that Roselena's
madness is his real punishment. If he doesn't have her committed
(and we might not have much story if he does) he'll be doing damage
control until she dies... or until she kills him.
Gala and
Julie are another matter altogether. The former is equally
delusional in thinking she can force Rodrigo to stay married to her;
the latter is amoral in using her daughter as a meal ticket. We will
soon see if either of them will ultimately cross the line and do
actual physical harm to Luciana and/or her baby... or to Gala's own
child. She is drinking alcohol (although we haven't seen her drunk)
so we don't have any great hope at the moment that this child will
make it to full term. Their need for revenge and their vicious
natures also override their greed because the magazine they put
together to humiliate Luciana had to have cost a lot of money to
commission, publish, and distribute. If Rodrigo has any brains he
won't give them a cent.
How does
this play for the audience?
What I want
to see more of is the kind of rejection Maria threw at Bernarda in
the later episodes of Triunfo del Amor. I want to see
protagonists tell off these evildoers and later have better memories
of their actions so they find a way to fight back. I want to see
villains understand that others are on to them. That will make for
tougher writing, but better storytelling.
What we
need in the long term is a lot more variation on the approach to
forgiveness and the choice whether or not to apply it. Not only
that, but since forgiveness in these tales is often expressed at the
end, we need to see its consequences
Labels: abismo, amor, Fuego, no-podia, refugio, salvaje, telemundo, triunfo, weekend
Comments:
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Urban Anthropologist:
What an impassioned and thoughtful mini-essay you wrote. I am sure we will have a lively discussion on the topic.
Before I can comment thoughtfully, I would appreciate it if you can define 'forgiveness', as you see it. I want to make sure that we are talking about the same concept/action/behavior.
Thanks for posting this.
Elna June
What an impassioned and thoughtful mini-essay you wrote. I am sure we will have a lively discussion on the topic.
Before I can comment thoughtfully, I would appreciate it if you can define 'forgiveness', as you see it. I want to make sure that we are talking about the same concept/action/behavior.
Thanks for posting this.
Elna June
It is telling a transgressor that you forgive them, usually in the name of continuing the relationship. This is particularly applicable to a toxic parent or sibling who has done long-term harm. It usually means that their past offenses will not be raised as an issue.
Urban, this is a fascinating topic. I have been watching Telemundo novelas recently, so I'm not familiar with all of your examples. But of lot of the problem may stem from the stylized nature of the shows in the first place. In many of them, some characters are impossibly good, and others impossibly bad. The super good ones are just so saintly that they forgive everything. I enjoy novelas that have more in between characters, and these would be less likely to forgive the evildoers.
In real life, I've been fortunate enough never to experience evil behavior against me, such as toxic parents, or really anything I can think of, so I can't tell how I would respond if it happened to me. But in general, I don't think one has to forgive, at least not directly to the person. I do think it's good to sort of "move on" if that's possible, because the people who did harm don't really deserve the attention their bad behavior may have been calling out for.
In some ways, novelas do just that. The final episodes often have very short screen time for the demise of the villains, or even for forgiveness scenes, and much more screen time for the weddings and the "years that follow". And that's fine with me.
In real life, I've been fortunate enough never to experience evil behavior against me, such as toxic parents, or really anything I can think of, so I can't tell how I would respond if it happened to me. But in general, I don't think one has to forgive, at least not directly to the person. I do think it's good to sort of "move on" if that's possible, because the people who did harm don't really deserve the attention their bad behavior may have been calling out for.
In some ways, novelas do just that. The final episodes often have very short screen time for the demise of the villains, or even for forgiveness scenes, and much more screen time for the weddings and the "years that follow". And that's fine with me.
Urban, amazing description of our favorite 'vice', the villains in the current and recent novelas... such a great discussion line... have to read again to add anything, heading out to take mom to dr to have a penicillin shot and then to flea market with daughter... more later.
Thank you UA. What an interesting topic and presentation of cases! Well written as always.
I would love to relate my favorite, favorite forgiveness scene and situation, but it was from Canaveral de Pasiones, redone these days as Abismo. I'll wait until another time, so as not to suggest any spoilers.
I look forward to reading comments of others, too.
I would love to relate my favorite, favorite forgiveness scene and situation, but it was from Canaveral de Pasiones, redone these days as Abismo. I'll wait until another time, so as not to suggest any spoilers.
I look forward to reading comments of others, too.
UA, thanks for this post as I think it deserves its own thread.
On the one hand since TNs are often bad with time management in general (specific case in point being how quickly the leads and others fall in love), it makes sense that forgiveness as a ritual and component of the Christian faith would be rushed as well. It's there b/c TNs want to have a faith aspect but its fascinating which elements of faith remain, forgiveness, and which fall by the way-side, sex outside of marriage.
On the other hand, if TNs want to move closer to realism, love and forgiveness need to be given more time. In my own personal life and as a Christian, I practice forgiveness but some times fail. Since TN characters are often created as Hombre described - unrealistically saintly, it can be annoying. The writers have a great opportunity to show forgiveness as a process and that immediately after being confronted with evil, the good character may not be willing to forgive (see Refugio's Rod).
I think what made the discussion last Tuesday with our recapper Judy as moderator (on Refugio) so rich and intense was both the kids being forced to forgive their mother, who was obviously NOT repentant and how they were expected to forgive on the spot. They had just received a huge bomb shell: their mother, who seemed saintly is not only a liar but capable of frightening evil. Seemingly within an hour of hearing this news, the Padre was telling them to forgive crazy Rosa. He didn't even make himself available for them to process this horror. It's nonsense like that the raises my hackles and leads to what UA stated about people forgiving but emotionally stuck. Perhaps EJ can tell us about forgiveness being similar to recovering from the death of a loved - both would be a process with steps.
People should be allowed to be angry and hopefully not lash out while they are angry. [A verse of scripture says be angry but do not sin.] Then they can heal and mourn and whatever other steps are needed. Otherwise it is what Protestants call cheap grace.
While I don't think I can say don't forgive, I can't understand how adult children in TNs stay under the same roof as their extremely toxic parent (see Elisa and Dam in Abismo). In order to forgive and move on the good characters need to leave their toxic homes, heal, and then forgive. It's almost unthinkable that characters that have been emotionally abused as many adult children in TNs are (Helena from her insane father on Eva) would just forgive without any distance - physical and temporal - from their abuse.
On the one hand since TNs are often bad with time management in general (specific case in point being how quickly the leads and others fall in love), it makes sense that forgiveness as a ritual and component of the Christian faith would be rushed as well. It's there b/c TNs want to have a faith aspect but its fascinating which elements of faith remain, forgiveness, and which fall by the way-side, sex outside of marriage.
On the other hand, if TNs want to move closer to realism, love and forgiveness need to be given more time. In my own personal life and as a Christian, I practice forgiveness but some times fail. Since TN characters are often created as Hombre described - unrealistically saintly, it can be annoying. The writers have a great opportunity to show forgiveness as a process and that immediately after being confronted with evil, the good character may not be willing to forgive (see Refugio's Rod).
I think what made the discussion last Tuesday with our recapper Judy as moderator (on Refugio) so rich and intense was both the kids being forced to forgive their mother, who was obviously NOT repentant and how they were expected to forgive on the spot. They had just received a huge bomb shell: their mother, who seemed saintly is not only a liar but capable of frightening evil. Seemingly within an hour of hearing this news, the Padre was telling them to forgive crazy Rosa. He didn't even make himself available for them to process this horror. It's nonsense like that the raises my hackles and leads to what UA stated about people forgiving but emotionally stuck. Perhaps EJ can tell us about forgiveness being similar to recovering from the death of a loved - both would be a process with steps.
People should be allowed to be angry and hopefully not lash out while they are angry. [A verse of scripture says be angry but do not sin.] Then they can heal and mourn and whatever other steps are needed. Otherwise it is what Protestants call cheap grace.
While I don't think I can say don't forgive, I can't understand how adult children in TNs stay under the same roof as their extremely toxic parent (see Elisa and Dam in Abismo). In order to forgive and move on the good characters need to leave their toxic homes, heal, and then forgive. It's almost unthinkable that characters that have been emotionally abused as many adult children in TNs are (Helena from her insane father on Eva) would just forgive without any distance - physical and temporal - from their abuse.
I think that physical distance would be essential, even the metaphorical distance of death. That's what I think was needed in TdA... and for a priest! It also spared him the absolute horror of more years during which he would see that she would never repent and would never become the saintly person she presented herself as.
I have a friend who also came from a highly toxic family. Her two much-older brothers are also toxic, the younger of whom became astonishingly hostile in the last eight years or so. His summer home is near where she lives and in the last few years she has seen very little of him. When she does she is very stressed. Last year when she said she saw him only a couple of times I asked her how she felt and she said she was less stressed than the years before. However, she is in denial because in her head she is still looking for the Normal Rockwell family image that Roselena is trying to present and can't with any credibility. Her brothers have said many horrendous things to her to the extent that they seem to have become the truth, as though she is living down to their expectations in the vain attempt to have them love her.
Love cannot exist without respect and I don't think that forgiveness can or should be given to someone who ultimately refuses us respect.
I have a friend who also came from a highly toxic family. Her two much-older brothers are also toxic, the younger of whom became astonishingly hostile in the last eight years or so. His summer home is near where she lives and in the last few years she has seen very little of him. When she does she is very stressed. Last year when she said she saw him only a couple of times I asked her how she felt and she said she was less stressed than the years before. However, she is in denial because in her head she is still looking for the Normal Rockwell family image that Roselena is trying to present and can't with any credibility. Her brothers have said many horrendous things to her to the extent that they seem to have become the truth, as though she is living down to their expectations in the vain attempt to have them love her.
Love cannot exist without respect and I don't think that forgiveness can or should be given to someone who ultimately refuses us respect.
I agree with those who feel that forgiving a person doesn't mean you have to speak to the offender face to face . I think of forgiveness as letting go of the negative effect it has on the person and moving on. It's something you do for your own mental health moreso than for the offender. The offender doesn't even have to know that you have made peace with yourself.
I totally agree with Karen... in that forgiveness is a process... you have to realize the difference on the actions and intentions of the offender and their feelings and how it affects them... if the offender is NOT repentant, as in the case of Rosa in Refugio and the offense has totally destroyed the 'saintly' image that Jana, Pato and Rod had of their mother, the priest should NOT expect there to be forgiveness on the spot just like that. I agree that that was totally unfair of the priest to expect or request from them.
I also agree with UA that in these cases the first thing they need to do is move out of that 'Norman Rockwell' house of mirrors of Rosa's and really come to terms with it themselves before they even face her again to try to rebuild relationships. THat would be the normal scenario if the offender is repentant (e.g. Emiliano's parents and sister and Raquel in LHDM, granted their offense was just not believing in him/her and not quite as serious as Rosa's who plotted and committed felonies, to put one example). But in every case regardless of the gravity of the offense, the offender has to 'forgive her/himself', as Pato said, and also change their ways, before she can expect them to forgive her.
It is a process of steps, like Karen said, and they are only started on that path. THe confession was but the first step. Now comes the cleaning and self-forgiving process, and lastly the relationship rebuilding process...
I also agree with UA that in these cases the first thing they need to do is move out of that 'Norman Rockwell' house of mirrors of Rosa's and really come to terms with it themselves before they even face her again to try to rebuild relationships. THat would be the normal scenario if the offender is repentant (e.g. Emiliano's parents and sister and Raquel in LHDM, granted their offense was just not believing in him/her and not quite as serious as Rosa's who plotted and committed felonies, to put one example). But in every case regardless of the gravity of the offense, the offender has to 'forgive her/himself', as Pato said, and also change their ways, before she can expect them to forgive her.
It is a process of steps, like Karen said, and they are only started on that path. THe confession was but the first step. Now comes the cleaning and self-forgiving process, and lastly the relationship rebuilding process...
sorry maybe this was not clear...
i meant...
you have to realize the difference on the actions and intentions of the offender and their feelings and how it affects the offended/victims...
i meant...
you have to realize the difference on the actions and intentions of the offender and their feelings and how it affects the offended/victims...
UA, i went back and re-read your essay portion before the novela examples...
as someone raised as a catholic christian, i have to admit i am not on the really tight orthodox side and that my opinion is much closer to yours...
We are always being told that forgiving is letting go to avoid living with rancor and hate. I can buy that notion if the offending act was committed in ignorance of the resultant suffering... I can accept the idea of forgiveness if the offender apologises sincerely and makes amends (even if that can only mean getting out of the injured party's life)... AND... make a concerted and sincere effort to change their behavior. I cannot extend the same absolution to persons who knowingly commit malicious acts regardless of their motives for doing so. A person like that takes forgiveness as a license to continue the behavior.
... forgiving often prevents the offended party from facing the music and doing the necessary psychological work to correct what the offenses against them have done.
ITA that if the offending party is 'forgiven just like that' they take that as the cure-all pill for past offenses and they won't have any motive to change their behavior toward the offended... Thus Rosa's belief that praying at her little room at the house or visiting the priest and expressing her 'pain' and 'confessing' her sins will wipe out the issue...
In Abismo I expect that Alfonsina will be honestly repentant, if she survives, for all the harm she caused to her son and to Elisa... in her case I would believe her repentance. In Privilegio/Refugio we have both examples... Padre's mom is like Rosa and Maria's mom is like Alfonsina. One truly repents and the other one never does. I only would feel that the repentant one is worthy of true forgiveness and of another chance...
as someone raised as a catholic christian, i have to admit i am not on the really tight orthodox side and that my opinion is much closer to yours...
We are always being told that forgiving is letting go to avoid living with rancor and hate. I can buy that notion if the offending act was committed in ignorance of the resultant suffering... I can accept the idea of forgiveness if the offender apologises sincerely and makes amends (even if that can only mean getting out of the injured party's life)... AND... make a concerted and sincere effort to change their behavior. I cannot extend the same absolution to persons who knowingly commit malicious acts regardless of their motives for doing so. A person like that takes forgiveness as a license to continue the behavior.
... forgiving often prevents the offended party from facing the music and doing the necessary psychological work to correct what the offenses against them have done.
ITA that if the offending party is 'forgiven just like that' they take that as the cure-all pill for past offenses and they won't have any motive to change their behavior toward the offended... Thus Rosa's belief that praying at her little room at the house or visiting the priest and expressing her 'pain' and 'confessing' her sins will wipe out the issue...
In Abismo I expect that Alfonsina will be honestly repentant, if she survives, for all the harm she caused to her son and to Elisa... in her case I would believe her repentance. In Privilegio/Refugio we have both examples... Padre's mom is like Rosa and Maria's mom is like Alfonsina. One truly repents and the other one never does. I only would feel that the repentant one is worthy of true forgiveness and of another chance...
Instant forgiveness is a myth and if someone offers it is is usually just lip service and the poison remains.
The kids in Refugio were hit with a horrific bombshell. The good Padre should have told them to take their time to process their sainted mother's betrayal and come to terms with it before working toward forging her.
To truly forgive you have to work through the steps like those for grief - anger, denial (mama couldn't have done it) acceptance that she did and then a gradual forgiveness because to hold the rancor poisons the one who has to forgive.
The TL kids should have gotten away from her if they could, go to Conny's or even bunk in at Hell House with Rod until they could get through the shock. Unfortunately they are stuck in the house with Rosa who would probably be banging on their door weeping and wailing and begging.
If people don't have tie or space to process the relationship and and will not ever be the same because a seed of anger will always remain. Buth because so many novelas insist on a theme of redemption and forgiveness they always make it happen too soon and unrealistic.
The kids in Refugio were hit with a horrific bombshell. The good Padre should have told them to take their time to process their sainted mother's betrayal and come to terms with it before working toward forging her.
To truly forgive you have to work through the steps like those for grief - anger, denial (mama couldn't have done it) acceptance that she did and then a gradual forgiveness because to hold the rancor poisons the one who has to forgive.
The TL kids should have gotten away from her if they could, go to Conny's or even bunk in at Hell House with Rod until they could get through the shock. Unfortunately they are stuck in the house with Rosa who would probably be banging on their door weeping and wailing and begging.
If people don't have tie or space to process the relationship and and will not ever be the same because a seed of anger will always remain. Buth because so many novelas insist on a theme of redemption and forgiveness they always make it happen too soon and unrealistic.
Permalink posted by 
: Sunday, September 9, 2012 at 3:21:00 PM EDT
: Sunday, September 9, 2012 at 3:21:00 PM EDT
True, but since Roselena will never face that she has done anything wrong she will never forgive herself. There is a manicomio in her future.
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