Caray, Caray!

I started out by "cheating" on my recap: I got an early start by watching on YouTube! Why didn't I think of that before? (Partly because my Spanish wasn't good enough. Now it's a little bit better.)

But first: I was going crazy trying to find out the origin of that music Connie's string quartet was playing during his failed welcome-home party for Mili. I consulted a music-major friend of mine, and the definitive answer is: Johann Sebastian Bach's Air on the G String. (I suppose I could make a joke about Karla wearing a G string as a pole dancer. Ba dum bum.) Anyway, there are about six gazillion versions on YouTube. What's the most ridiculous instrument I can find? How about this rockin' electric guitar version? Calling Jimi Hendrix! Would you believe bottles? Surprisingly well done. The mountain dulcimer? Kinda dull. Shucks, no kazoo or accordion.

Back to our story. Rosario, wearing her black hair, rehashes with Alejandro about how she came to the point she is at now and what she hopes to accomplish by destroying Connie.

Over to the restaurant where Braulio and Paulo are simpering at each other. Nothing worth recapping here. I'm happy that Braulio finally has a boyfriend, but he now seems to be getting a total pass for not telling his poor niece Mili the truth. And he's been leaving the poor Mortimer Snerd puppet home alone. Won't he get lonely? If we don't get a good explanation for the puppet by the end of this series, I will feel gypped. The puppet is Braulio's Rosebud, and we deserve answers!

Back to Rosario's apartment: She has the short wig and glasses on again! Continuity error? Al wants to know why she won't tell Mili the truth. No good answer is really forthcoming, since her rationale is not rational. Somehow she persuades Al to play along for a while. Al's antipathy to Connie gets the better of him, and he agrees. Al gets up to leave, and they stand near the open door. She asks for a hug. Oops--look who's at the door--it's Damian. He is paying attencion!

Back to the restaurant, two women of a certain age at the next table are flirting with our two fans of fancy facial treatments. These gals' gaydar seriously needs a tuneup. The girls pick up the check, and the guys, and the group repairs to the ugly red apartment (Rosario left with Damian). Soon a wild orgy ensues: Braulio and Paolo give the girls neck massages and eye treatments, while the girls moan enthusiastically. The boys make eyes at each other behind the girls' backs. Okay, maybe the girls knew what they were getting into after all. No avocados were harmed during the filming of this scene.

Luci Version 2.0 is beta testing her sobriety at a cafe with Nestor. They have a nice conversation and no drinking. But she's not ready for anything more on the relationship front.

Later, Connie and Luci have a meeting with Robledo about Mili's money.

Next, Damian and Rosario meet with another licenciado, where Rosario buys 60 percent of Connie's company. Rosario asks for Damian's "discretion" in not telling Connie anything. I don't think Damian is familiar that word, but he'll keep the secret for reasons of his own--he doesn't want Connie to know yet either. She wants to know if Al is a good guy--apparently yes, because he's not an Arango. I don't get this, because he's son of Luci, so he is an Arango. Damian makes broad hints about what he saw at the door of the apartment.

Back to Connie and Luci. Connie wants to give Mili the money back, but he wants to use it as leverage to get her to move back. Luci says he has to give it up--Mili will never move back. As an incentive, Mili will give Connie 20 percent of her shares. Connie says he will do it just for Mili--not for the 20 percent. They sign the papers, then Connie shows his true colors after all . . . er, er, don't forget to record the exchange of shares, he says . . . Luci rolls her eyes.

Mili plays with the baby--who is looking really cute! Al comes back from his meeting looking very happy, so Mili immediately senses that he's hiding something. Yes, he did not quit the project after all. He says she should trust him, but he can't tell the whole story now. Mili says she thinks something's up between him and Rosella.

Karla finally has a new costume. She's meeting with her newest customer, Hugo Version 2.2 Homeless Edition.

Hugo wants to know why she has such a low opinion of herself. She says men always want her for a fling and never for herself. Hugo says he's not her type, all well dressed (acicalado) and perfumed. Somewhere in here Hugo says he sometimes performs music out on the plaza with a friend of his. Then he asks who was the low-life he punched out the other night? Oh, that was Damian, a guy I almost married. Cut.

Filler scene with Brau, Pau, and Ros.

Back to Hugo and Karla. She says she always liked Damian's son Hugo, but the situation was strange. A few years ago, he lost his memory in an accident and she took advantage of it and took care of him. She cared for him in the hospital, and it was like a dream, but he recovered his memory and he went back to that stupid Milagros. He was obsessed with her. Then she explains how later she agreed to dress up as Milagros because she really cared for Hugo. Hugo starts crying. I'm crying just remembering it now.

Mili and Al rehash the Rosela situation. Mili has a bad feeling about it. Al says that Rosella has suffered too. Baloney! Al, you should tell the truth!

Damian is now meeting with Connie for one of his daily needling sessions. Damian says that Rosela likes Alex better than Connie--she's Alex's lover. Connie is outraged that she could be enamored with a squirt (esquincle) like Alejandro. Damian says that the men on the Arango side are really irresistible to women, a cross they have to bear. Connie shouts at him to stop, he doesn't believe it. Damian says he saw it with his own eyes . . . oops, caught--what was he doing there?

Back to the bar, where Hugo has left. Karla talks to Sylvester, who teases her that she seems to like Homeless Hugo. That "muerta de hambre"? (lowlife). No, don't make her laugh.

Back to Al and Mili. The baby cries in the background as they argue some more about Rosella.

Hugo goes back and reveals to Damian that he was the guy who punched him. Hugo says that he made mistakes with Carmen (that ancient girlfriend who died, for anyone who forgot, as I almost did) and Mili, but he won't with Karla. She is pregnant, and it could even be Damian's baby. Hugo cares. He's learning to forget Mili.

Andrea and Connie have some conversation that I paid no attention to.

Mili has stormed outside the house, and Alex comes out to talk to her . They start to make up, but when she tries to make him give up this nonsense with Rosela, he balks again, because he made a promise to Rosela. Mili says don't bother talkin to me until you're ready to explain.

Damian tells Andrea about Rosela and Al. Andrea is not happy. She does not want stupid Milagros back in "her" house. Andrea says Al is the same womanizer he was in the past.

Back at the little house, Luci comes home, and Al tells her that Mili walked out. They each reveal to each other that they both know about Rosario. Luci says they must persuade Rosario to tell Mili the truth. Al goes to sleep on the couch, and Luci pretends to read a book.
Al says to himself that he should talk to Mili but no, it will all work out . . .

Next morning, Mili sniffs Al's blanket. Reminds me of the time she was folding his underwear and put it on Flor's head . . . ahh good times, good times. Just then the doorbell rings, and it's Connie. After ascertaining that she's alone, he stammers out the reason for his visit: Do you suspect something between Rosela and Al? Your suspicions are true! Tomorrow: Mili and Connie follow Al and Rosela in a car.

Labels: guapos

Tonite plus one and I am done…..
Sorry..
Also will someone tag this for me as I can't
Thanks

Okay we open with Ros telling the good Padre, that yes indeed she is the mother of Mili and not a Fembot.
She confesses her deep and abiding hatred for Consti, the RatBastard.
--Why doesn’t the Padre just put up one of those take a number things—
Anyway that is why she can’t tell Mili that she is her Mother. A stretch yeah well, this is the best that Miss Sanchez’s eight grade class could come up with.
The Padre wants to discuss, but Ros doesn’t have time, she says they can discuss it another day when she is calmer.
Has anyone on this show ever taken any advice from the PreSaints?
Oh well thanks for teaching Mili Futbol and helping her in her life.

Maybe Ros would have thought better if she had seen “The Naca Phase”

Now back to Mili telling Pa to be careful. She gives him no details. Just be careful.

Mili arrives at the new house, the posse is there. Al questions Mili where she went after the game.
She says she will tell him later.
On to a fest of the Chicas explaining to the Chicos, how they are going to start this awesome Spa, with dance, food, aroma therapy, masques, hydrotherapy…Whatever

They want the boys to build in for them. Not for free, but for a good discount. Bobby, Al & Rocky huddle.
DA-Da of course they will. These young folks are so metrosexual..

Meanwhile, Damien is over at Ros’s, he is selling her 60% of the company for mucho dinero. The contract will be signed tomorrow. Now the thought of screwing Consti over has Damien thinking of screwing Ros. Really you can’t blame him, I’ve decided it is some subconscious thing with these people. You know how you like smell something and all the sudden you have a memory from like forty years ago surface? It is like that with these guys, all the sudden the entire male group is aroused when any woman that one has done enters the room. There is a certain industrial strength cleaning product that anytime I smell it, straight back to elementary school when the janitor had to clean vomit. Sorry…

Anyway Damien is pouring on the let’s get busy thing. Ros squashes the idea. She says she just couldn’t cause he reminds her of her Father. Damien is truly appalled he counters with a maybe an older brother, but father no way. Nope he reminds her of her father. OH SNAP. She does not mix business with pleasure, so that is that. Damien will return the next day to seal the deal…not that deal, the real contract.

Hugo, the carefree dreadlock man, is at the Bar of Pole Dancing. It is so sad cause Hugo is pretty cool as dreadlock guy, much more so than when he is Hugo the Preppy stalker.
He purchases Karla’s time. She comes over to the table while wearing her servant outfit. She tells him he could spend his money elsewhere and get a private dance. Nope he just wants to talk to her. She is drinking a Virgin (no alcohol drink), he questions that and she says she doesn’t want to drink.
He tries to chat her up a bit, tell me a little about yourself. She says she is selfish, cares only about money, hates her mother and is just out for money.

Jeez Karla hold back a little, what the hell will you two talk about on the honeymoon. Karla gets up and walks off.

Damien has arrived at the Mansion of Tragedy. He and Andrea are in the study. Andrea wants all the details about selling off the company. Damien true to form can’t answer. Instead he starts asking how old she thinks he is. Fifty she tells him. Poor Damien, he gets no respect. Anyway to cut through all the nonsense, he says they are good to go and he will go back tomorrow and get the check. Damien then tries to get a little action with Andrea. She puts him off. They can’t Consti is in the house. How has this not turned into a threesome? Of course Damien would always be second, but Que the Hell, I am so sure he is used to it. Andrea leaves and Damien thinks he better get a move on, cause tomorrow he is going to look another day older.

After the little party, Mili tells Al that she went to see Consti, she knows he is a ratbastard who has screwed over everyone, but he is her RatBastard.

Al gets on the phone and has a conversation with Pa. We don’t know which Pa, but he goes to see him.

Over at Ros’s apartment, jeez is that décor left over from some 70’s TeleNovela? Anyway Perleta has come to see Ros. He is trying to get her to meet with Consti, he tells her Consti will give her a much better deal. No Ros is not interested, not now not ever. She basically kicks Perleta out.

Al meets with Nestor. Now Al is a little warmer with Nestor. He tells him that Ros wants to crush Consti, that she has some deep abiding hate for Consti. Al doesn’t know why as he just generally assumes that everyone hates Const. Nestor says well you thought of him as a father. Al says, he was never proud of me, he never acknowledged any accomplishment, he tortured both my mother and my self, and never treated Mili as his daughter.

Well Nestor, the Hallmark Greeting Card of Honesty, tells Al. I can’t tell you what to do, but you must live with your actions. Al says if he does it, he will be just like Consti. Nestor says he will help him and direct clients his direction. “Oh Al at Least you’ll have your dignity”.

Back at the departmento of bad taste, Ros is talking to Brau. She tells him how she met Luci. The woman who stole Consti from her. Brau says, Consti didn’t marry her for love, he married her for money and yes like everything Consti touches, he turned her life to crap. Damn you Consti Belmonte. On the lighter side Ros fixes up a “Date” with Brau & Pablo. Pablo is a much better choice that guy at the bar, the short fat bar owner.

Damien has shown up at the Pole Dancing Palace. I swear those are the worst pole dancers evah. Have these people never seen the Sorpranos? Available on DVD, now those Bada Bing Chicks could twirl on the pole even when they were all crack whore high.

Damien always a class act, starts yelling Servant at Karla. He seems to think he is going to get some for ol times sake. He grabs her, jeez the Naco is so coming out in Damien. She screams at him to let her go. These folks are putting on quite the floor show. Hugo in full dreadlock, jumps up and punches Damien out.
He bends down and says, “Sorry Papa, but you were asking for it”.

Damien gets thrown out, and old guy isn’t gonna get any tonight.

Karla is all like, my hero. Hugo tells her he will be back tomorrow night to talk with her. Karla says I will talk to you for free, you won’t even have to pay. Oh my little Karla, you crazy romantic.

Next day…

Perleta is telling Consti that he failed, Ros won’t sign with Consti. Consti is enraged, he demands Perleta fix this, Perleta says Ros was especially impressed with Al. Consti has the enraged how can that be? How? No contract no kickback.
--I saw the same look on the old lions face when he was about to loose the harem to the young stud lion—
Animal Planet. Dude you are so going to get a bad bite and die of a serious infection under the hot sun on the Seringeti and the hyenas Andrea and Damien circle his ever weakening body…Finally stripping the flesh off his still breathing body.---Too Graphic? Hope springs eternal.—

Okay now let’s stroll over to the departmento. Ros is putting on her wig and so on. Knock at the door, it is Al. He tells her she wants to destroy Consti, he says he can’t do that cause it would make him just as bad as Consti. Ros can’t use him to seek vengeance. He tears up the contract and turns to walk away.
Ros says, “Could you do it with Mili’s Ma”.
Al turns, she pulls off her wig and tosses that skanky hair. Al does the it can’t be. Yes it can, to make another hash/rehash short…blah, blah, blah…
Oh the pain, oh the despair—
Oh yeah I know Luci and know Const screwed her over too.
People get started on the RatBastardness of Consti and it is like instant bonding, it’s like best friends for life---four hours later and someone is saying, “yeah well you think that is bad, let me tell you about when he did this_____” You know kinda like when people start spouting Bushisms and everyone joins in and you just can’t stop.
Well future son-in-law and mother-in-law make up and the deal is on.

Over in the office of old guy lawyer, the gramps of Matt the Ratt, second runner-up for Homecoming Queen Cell bock six, Luci, Val & Mili are talking about using the inheritance money to start a business.

Nestor comes in, he stares as Luci, she stares back thinking, “So that is what he looks like”. It was hard to really focus on his features when always seeing them through the bottom of a whiskey tumbler.

Nestor you sly dawg, he tells her how good she looks. Compliments all round. He asks her to go for coffee, she demures, the little ingenue. She has a meeting. Our group of cupids send them on their way.

Okay the end…

Next Damien is giving Consti the 411 that he thinks Ros is banging Al…
Egads, the Lion is muy impacted.

I would like to take this time moment to inquire…
1) WTF is up with Perleta? Now it looks like he is on Consti’s payroll, when from the beginning he had plans to make Consti take the fall for some unknown convoluted business thing? Miss Sanchez did we just drop that theme?
2) Dead French Guy, not Daddy. WTF, that certainly had no repercussions, shouldn’t Luci at least have to say sorry to the Juan Doe gravesite? I mean isn’t it part of the 12 step program? Or maybe it is a step that is like A) Apologize to Crazy Dead French Guy or B) open a swanky spa for rich substance abusing middle-age women. La Bety Belemonte Clinica

Labels: guapos

The title is a shoutout to Constancio, Damian, Federico, Flor’s dad whose name I’ve forgotten, and now Rosario/Rosela, who have spent so many months obsessing over both and using them to destroy the lives of others. Lyrics courtesy “Gangsta’s Paradise” by Coolio, which I heard about one hundred and seventy thousand times from the stereo of the guy upstairs during my freshman year in our poorly sound-insulated gothic tower dorm (also: eight floors, no elevator).

Also, I am not your usual Monday recapper. My name is Julia, and this is my very first recap ever. I am by no means fluent in Spanish, so everyone please fill in any important or interesting details I miss.

We begin by rejoining Luci and Ros in the little house. Ros is prepared to avenge herself for the fab life she’s missed out on by not getting to marry Constancio those many years ago. Luci fills her in on just how fab life with Connie has been, implying that she should just be glad it wasn’t her. Ros ain’t buying it. She wants to get even with Constancio, and she’s got the means. Connie, with all his power, should fear her.

Well! Look who is at the door! It is Constancio, and he wants to see Mili. Ros is standing right there in plain view, but with her back to the door, but when he asks who she is, Luci says she’s a neighbor and he goes for that. Now, I’d be a little suspicious. Who resolutely faces the other way from everything that’s going on in the room? Anyway, Mili isn’t there and Luci doesn’t want to talk to him. Luci says she’ll come to his office later, and he leaves. Ros doesn’t want Connie to know she’s alive (she doesn’t know it’s too late for that). Luci, who now acts like a sane person, can’t understand why Ros won’t just tell Mili the truth, but she reluctantly agrees to keep quiet.

Karla is dancing in the club, still in the maid costume, poor thing. She doesn’t even get variety?! Not even a harem outfit now and then? HomelessHugo is now sitting in the club, drinking and whistling and drumming on the table, looking like every wannabe hippie drum circle guy the whole world over. Also he is very into Karla’s dancing. Might he be interested in her after all, now that she passed the giving-money test?

The young gentlemen plus Horacio (who is young at heart, and also doesn’t have any friends his own age) hang out in the street. I don’t know where they’ve been, but apparently they’re outside Bobby and Lina’s place and they have strict orders not to intrude on the women’s get-together upstairs. I think they decide to go play billiards, and Bobby calls Lina to make sure that’s okay with her. Then, in accordance with the laws of dudedom, the others must tease him about being whipped.

Meanwhile, upstairs, all the ladies are having a convo. They are discussing their new business. Hey! The previous blatant hints were not deceiving! They want to start a women’s wellness place like Candy’s. But BIGGER. Val wants a good spa, Gloria is into the dance classes, there is discussion of food and consulting with Candy. The guys can build the facility! Meanwhile, weird wordless maid stands at the corner of the table staring at them all. That would drive me nuts. The maid’s name is apparently Kimberly, and since she is now in the opening credits, I’m thinking she will have a bigger role at some point. Socorro once again laments the unknown dondeabouts of Karla. She needs this kind of help! And a swift kick or two besides, but they don’t say that out loud.

While Mac sings, Karla sits down at HomelessHugo’s table. He talks in a weird growly voice. She wonders why he is in there if he has no money. He asks why she gave him money on the street. Lo and behold, Karla now grasps the Golden Rule! She says that could have been her on the street if she hadn’t found a job, and she did for him what she would have liked for someone to do for her. Soy muy impactada. HH wants to pay her for a private dance, but she tells him he should use the money for food or something. He says he has everything he needs. He will come back tomorrow and she will dance for him like a spinning top (pirinola). She tells him to bathe.

At ABR, Ros brings some drawings, and they have a contract ready for her to sign. Now, I don’t see how they came up with a contract without having the site information and a thorough discussion of what she wants, but whatever. Anyway, she loves the tacky sign on Al’s office door. Rocky gloats, and Bobby still thinks it’s awful. I’m with Bobby. These guys are having a hard enough time being taken seriously.

Luci drops by Connie’s office and gives him crap about the sexy new secretary. Alas, Connie is not hitting that; Damian hired her and thus has first dibs. I think it’s only a matter of time until they’re sharing her, too. Getting a woman who hasn’t already been passed around the family is way too much trouble. But, getting down to business, Connie is a little sobby. He wants his family back! Luci is surprised.

Ros signs the contract with a great flourish. She is left-handed. Al still can’t get over his qualms. Why us?, he asks. Oh, your granny said such good things about you, so honest, so talented. Al is not convinced. Um, I want to help you and Mili. Why, lady, what is your game? He knows she is hiding something.

Meanwhile, Mili and Lina have dropped by and are in the lobby. Mili pops into the meeting just in time to overhear Ros admit she wants to destroy Connie’s business. It was always the most important thing to him, much more than love or family, so that’s what she’s taking. Back in the lobby, Mili is sad, but won’t tell the others why.

Connie is still ranting about how lonely the big house is now that he’s driven everyone out. He wants them to come back. Everything will be different now, I promise! She is flabbergasted that he really thinks they would want to live with him. He is all, not fair! Not fair! Connie whines about his ruined party, then tells Luci that Rosario is not dead. She is surprised that he knows, but, unknown to him, not actually surprised, of course.

Al tells Ros they need to wrap up the meeting; he and his betrothed have a soccer match to get to. Ros is very interested that Mili plays. Al says, if granny told you so much about her, how could you not know she plays? It is her passion! He manages to look all swoony talking about Darling Mili, like a proper young gent in love. Ros says, okay, I lied, I hadn’t been writing with Regina, but you and Mili have to trust me! Really! You won’t regret it! Trust me! If Al wasn’t already really suspicious of her intentions, he should have been after that. People are usually trustworthy in inverse relation to the amount they try to convince you they are. By the way, Ros’s clothes are somewhat less trampy today, but not more flattering. The tunic and leggings thing is not working for her, and she needs to fire Paolo for letting her go out like that.

Luciana and Constancio are still fighting. Luci recites the same old rehash of his sins, with the added twist of: if Rosario is still alive, she will never forgive all that. Connie cries, saying, “wasn’t me. Daddy did it.”

Back at the manse, Hugo (now in normal clothes) signs some papers, and Damian gives him a check. What!?! That is not the direction the money flows! Oh, Hugo is selling Damian his shares in the business. Still, I’m surprised Damian is actually giving him money for them. Hugo jokes about whether the check will be any good. Damian tells him now he can devote himself to painting, or travel (like he’s really been going to work anyway). Hugo says he’s got other plans. He admits he’s still thinking about Karla; Daddy Dearest advises him to forget she exists. “That leech (sanguijuela) will never change.” Hugo says to himself, “That’s exactly what I have to verify.”

Karla is crying in an empty club, wondering why Hugo hasn’t come back. Mac advises her to go back home; she says she can’t; she doesn’t matter to him. What about your mom? She lied to me, and she’s better off without me.

Mili and Al are at the soccer field, talking about Ros and her plot. Al wants her to promise not to tip off Constancio. She agrees but isn’t happy about it. He says Ros must have a good reason to hate Connie so much, and he’s not exactly a “blanca paloma” (white dove, innocent). He’s desperate to get married; she says be patient. Why is it that they have to wait a year? He thinks kisses will help him wait. Smoochy-smoochy.

Damian and Constancio talk about rich lady Ros and her need for construction. Apparently the land is some they had thought of buying, in a very good location. She already signed with our archrivals, says Damian. What?!? She is a friend of Peralta! Connie is impactado.

At the game, there is soccer action. The whole fan club is there spectating. Ros is also in the stands, with her own hair instead of the wig and without glasses, but wearing the same outfit she wore in the office. Brilliant disguise, lady. Padre Manuel recognizes her from the convent, and she takes off. He chases. The kids win the game and do a goofy dance.

Constancio is very angry. He wants Al to come back to work (begging, with his tail between his legs), and to come back to the house and bring Mili. He won’t let Val leave; he’ll offer Rocky a job as a messenger. He wants control of his family back! Control! Oh, Constancio. Ruthless dictatorship is such hard work. You and Fidel and Kim Jong Il and that Burmese dude should form a support group. Connie is confident he can steal Ros from AB&R.

PM catches up with Ros on the street. My child, those hideous dominatrix hooker shoes are ugly as sin, and you should burn them and repent immediately, he says. Well, he should have.

Mili tells Lina and Gloria about Ros’s evil scheme. They don’t know what to do, either. Protect Daddy, because she cares about him even though he killed Mommy? And betray Al?

Ros tells PM that she needs vengeance before she tells her daughter the truth. Priests usually encourage that sort of thing, I’m pretty sure. Especially if you can find a way to blaspheme and fornicate at the same time.

Mili goes to the big house to tell Connie to be careful. He looks confused.

And that’s where we leave off.

Avances: Al dramatically rips up the contract, saying he won’t do business with someone who is trying to destroy them. Ros asks, “would you do business with Mili’s mother?”

Labels: guapos

[Hola Guapistas. I'm a little under the weather this evening, so this recap is courtesy of Mr. 5ft. Yep, he makes hot tea, soup, and snark. Enjoy!--5ft]


Previously on Guapos, Rosario hires Alejandro to build stuff and pays him waaay too much and blows smoke up his back side.

Alejandro admits that they have no full time staff to help, and warns her about Constancio's back stabbing.

Rocky finds out that Bobby got Nestor's big fat check, and Alejandro introduces Rosario as their new big client to build stuff for.

Bobby asks if they need to wait and see if Constancio will steal this client, and Alejandro reassures them.

Socoro is still concerned about her rat bastard daughter. Horacio gets told about how she misses all the noise. The new chauffer is Chamuco.

Lina on the phone with Bobby: Lina is fussing as the nameless maid in a black and white outfit cleans the table and Lina's nails. Every time Lina starts straightening something the nameless maid who is apparently non-verbal bats Lina's hand away with the rag and starts re-cleaning whatever Lina touched. Bobby lets Lina know that they have a big client and that they are going to celebrate with a dinner. After Lina hangs up, the nameless maid decides that Lina can't be trusted with the phone and takes it away from her. And thus we get the fight over who gets to clean (nameless maid wins or loses depending on your point of view).

Andrea macks on Damian, until Braulio and Chamuco show up and then she cancels her request for the chauffer to take her out, and walks off with Damian.

Alejandro talking on the phone: Nestor shows up. There is some verbal sparring and then Nestor gets a hug.

Hugo shows up at the Casa of the Abused. Mili and Hugo talk. Mili thanks him for divorcing her. We are told that the wedding is in a year. Mili asks about Karla. Mili of course wants to know what Hugo is going to do about Karla and her spawn. Mili says she doesn't like to see him so upset, and that she still likes Hugo as a friend. Hugo leaves after they blather on for a while.

Back to Nestor and Alejandro: Alejandro tells Nestor about the job. Nestor warns Alejandro about Rosario since she was donating money to Constancio's presidency campaign.

Rosario is talking to Paulo, and is concerned that there might be a problem with Alejandro accepting the job. Paulo says she still loves Constancio and there is some denial.

Constancio still acting like Heffner and is not leaving the house and everything is set for him to be president.

The gang has a fancy lunch out to celebrate. Alejandro is contemplating what Nestor told him, and it is bugging him. Then he goes back to celebrating.

Rosario shows up at the Casa of the Abused and likes the look of the outside. It makes her all nostalgic with Paulo. Paulo is starts working on Rosario to get her to do something naughty. And off she goes to see in the house where as we saw in the previews last night she appears to be recognized by Luciana

Hugo packs up his stuff in preparation to leave. Hugo remembers being the hairy homeless guy with Mili. And so he dresses back up as the Hairy Homeless guy to go and raise heck.

Damian and Andrea bitch over drinks. She wants to know what is going on with the divorce and Damian says he has the original papers that Mili signed. They get all lovey.

The doorbell rings at the Casa of the Abused. In comes Rosario greeted by Luciana and Rosario is recognized. Oops. Rosario tries to leave and Luciana won't let her leave. Luciana explains who she is.

Damian wants Milagros' shares, but we will see how that works. Damian is willing to take Andrea away from all this. He starts to spill his plans. He plans to buy the company and sell the whole company.

Constancio has retired his Heffner act, and leaves to straighten out his life.

Rosario is still talking to Luciana. So they gossip about what has gone on.

Back to the party. Bobby wants to get to work on the contract, and Alejandro wants to wait. Nestor's warnings seem to have sunk in. They talk Alejandro into preparing the contract so that Rosario can sign her life away.

The girls are in the bathroom. Talking about how they miss the group all living together. Valeria is going to induct them into the spa cult. Mili suggests that they start their own business.

Karla offers homeless Hugo some money.

Luciana confesses all the evil crap she did to Mili. Rosario apparently still has issues with her treatment by the Belmonte clan. Rosario blames Constancio for all that was done to her.

Monday, Constancio shows up and Rosario moves more into view of the door (at least her back is turned to the door).

[5ft again...I would just like to note that Mr. 5ft doesn't actually know much Spanish and while I was sitting here making snide comments during the viewing, I don't think we can attribute his comprehension entirely to that. So let that be a lesson to those of you who think you don't know enough Spanish to recap!]

Labels: guapos

Rehash: Mili wants out of the hospital ASAP and Connie, grinning goofily, comes in and says the doctor says probably she can go home tonight. Mili tells about how she saw the bright light and Regina, but she can’t remember what Regina said to her, though she remembers that it was important.

New hash: It’s misty morning in the DF. Mili awakens alone in the hospital and, feeling stiff, gets out of bed but finds she is still tethered to her drip. Vale and Rocky are just coming in and they fuss and tell her back to bed. Finally they talk her into it.

Alex and Luci, the padre and Sor C. are in the waiting room. Alex wonders where Connie is and Luci says he left a while ago. They discuss whether he’s going to finally tell Mili the truth, and they figure naw. Gloria and Braulio are there too. Vale and Rocky show up and they all decide to leave except Braulio and of course Alex.

Connie is just coming into the house, all smiles, when he is surprised to see Ramses who seems to have a new hairdo. Connie asks him if he’s got everything ready – sounds like a surprise party is in the offing. Connie says to himself that Ramses looks like a different person somehow.

Down the stairs come Andrea and Damien. Connie says he’s planning a party for Mili – tonight’s the night he tells Mili he’s her father. Andrea squints then fake smiles.

Hospital test montage while Mili looks wide-eyed at the shiny technical stuff – CT scan, X-rays. She gets a neurological check and she’s good to go, but the doctor warns her bed rest for a few days and she pouts. Alex leaves to sign the paperwork and Braulio sticks around.

He’s fidgety and Mili wants to know why. Oh, nothing, he says. He tells her some clothes are there and he’ll stop outside while she changes.

Karla is doing her pole dance in the maid costume. Dang! She’s pretty good. She can use this to give her a second bullet point on her résumé. Mono is sitting with Macarena who comments that Karla is making the customers go nuts. Mono’s eyes are popping out and Macarena says push ‘em back in. Mono assures her he likes fleshy women, but he keeps staring. Pan to the beaded curtain and we see Hugo watching behind it. More pole dance – whoo hoo! Karla’s sulky look really pays off here, and she struts around, collecting tips. Hugo watches, and looks like he’s sad for her.

Mili is sitting on the bed, dressed and ready and the door opens and here comes Rosario, smiling, hair and glasses kind of a Sophia Loren look, skin-tight outfit kind of an expensive call-girl look, and shoes a dominatrix look. Mili, her expression inscrutable, watches her come in. Mili hesitantly says May I offer you something? Rosario introduces herself as Rosela di Llano. Mili continues to study her and says do you work here? I’m getting out today. Rosario says she’s glad. Mili is squinting slightly and tells her that she looks familiar somehow.

Rosario says I just arrived in Mexico a few days ago and I heard you weren’t doing well, so I came to see you. Mili says but I don’t know you. Rosario says but I know you and I came to talk to you. About what? asks Mili. About us, says Rosario. Mili squints some more.

Back to Karla who is really owning that pole. Hugo comes through the bead curtain and Macarena’s assistant seats him. Hugo asks about Karla, and the assistant says for 2,000 pesos, she’ll come dance for him alone. Hugo says no thanks and orders a tequila. Karla spots him and runs offstage. Macarena goes to see what’s up.

Rosario tells Mili that her husband died a year ago and she’s come back to her homeland to confront her past and herself. Mili says why are you telling me these things? and Rosario says she’s heard talk about her. Mili is puzzled. Rosario says she used to be a good friend of Regina’s, and when she found out she had died and it saddened her terribly. She and I used to write a lot, lies Rosario, and she talked about you. Mili says what was your name again? How odd she never mentioned you. Rosario says oh, she said great things about you, about your wonderful spirit, and I see in your eyes that it was all true.

Rosario says she and her husband didn’t have any children, but when she was young she had a child – a girl. Rosario starts breaking up, and apologizes. She says it’s been so many years, but a mother never forgets her child. Mili says and a child never forgets its mother. My mother died when I was born.

Rosario says Regina told me. Mili says she died of pain, because my father left her to marry another woman without concerning himself that she was carrying his child. My mother’s heart burst from sorrow. Rosario says I am… I am…. I have to go! It was wonderful to talk to you. And she flees the room, leaving Mili confused and troubled.

I’m confused and troubled too – Why doesn’t she just tell the truth, for heaven’s sake?

Backstage Macarena is telling Karla off and tells her to get back out there. Karla says I can’t, Hugo is there. He’s the father of my child and I’m ashamed for him to see me. Macarena understands. She tells her to go talk to him, he must be there for a reason. Karla brightens.

Connie is as excited as Christmas about the party for Mili and he rubs his hands gleefully. There’s a big welcome banner in the foyer and party tables. He gives Ramses a check to give the party people as they did such a great job. Ramses hair IS bizarre. Andrea comes in and asks about where to put the musicians. Then Connie asks if the waiters have arrived. Andrea says yes, sheesh, I’m not the household help. Connie gets mad and says I intend to greet Mili the way she deserves and nobody is going to wreck my day. Andrea says so it makes you so happy to tell her you are her father? Connie says it’s time, I almost lost her. Today everything changes. He looks happily at all the pink balloons and decorations.

At the club, a man is singing a love song – he’s really good – and the dancing girls sway seductively in the background. Karla is ready to go out to Hugo, but he has left. Macarena hugs her, and Karla agonizes.

Alex comes in to get Mili and she stands up but is a bit woozy and sits down again. She says the strangest thing happened, a mysterious woman came in and said she was a friend of Regina’s and had heard all about me. Alex is puzzled and asks her name. Mili tells him and he says odd – I’ve never heard of her.

Rosario is talking to Braulio who doesn’t seem enthusiastic that she told Mili that Regina wrote her letters about her. Rosario raves about Mili. Braulio says when are you going to tell her? I will, says Rosario, but don’t pressure me. First I’ll find ways that we can be together and then maybe she’ll come to love me, and I’ll tell her then.

Rosario is worried about Alex… Belmonte. Braulio gives her the backstory, that Alex isn’t Mili’s brother. Rosario says Connie took on a son that wasn’t even his and kicked us to the curb? Braulio fills her in on how much Mili and Alex love each other, and that Alex has a start-up business, but it’s having problems. Braulio explains that Connie gave Alex his name, but he never loved him, poor thing. Rosario says Paolo is waiting and they hug goodbye and she leaves. Braulio lifts an eyebrow and says to himself Paolo and we hear a sly clarinet.

Braulio comes into the hospital room and Mili asks if he knows a Rosela who was a friend of Regina’s. Braulio hemms and haws a bit and says why yes, they were great friends and wrote each other all the time. Alex looks puzzled. Braulio says they met when Regina took a trip to Italy. When was that? asks Mili. Braulio says ummm before she decided to shut herself up in the house.

Alex goes for the car and Braulio tells Mili how glad he is she’s better and now her life will change. Mili says why? and he says you’ve had a serious accident. Mili asks if Braulio knows Rosela and Braulio lies no. He says he heard a lot about her, and he wants to know if Mili liked her. Mili says she found it odd that she would come looking for her. She says that when Rosela took her hand, she felt something, like warmth, and Rosela’s voice was very calming. If my mother weren’t dead, I’d like it if she were just like that. Tears well up in Braulio’s eyes.

Connie is pacing and waiting for Mili. Andrea is sitting all slouchy on the little couch and Damien is snoozing. Hey, that guy playing Ramses actually is another actor! His shots have been so short, I didn’t notice before. The waiters stand at the ready. Connie is wondering how he should tell Mili, how he should start. He’s a nervous wreck. He yells at Damien to wake up and tell him where he should be standing when Mili comes in.

Damien says make a dramatic entrance down the stairs. He goes up to demonstrate. Attention! he says and he descends the stairs grandly, arms outstretched. He drops his voice to mimic Connie’s, thundering Welcome Milagros! I am your father! The coward! The miserable man who abandoned you and your mother all those years ago!
I’m in stitches, but Connie isn’t. He explodes and says I forbid you to make fun of something that’s so important to me.

Nuevo Ramses says I liked it – that was great! Connie tells Damien to sit there, and Andrea over there, and says he wants to be told when they arrive. He goes up the stairs, signals the musicians who play – rats! I can’t think of the name of the piece, but it’s a slow string number – and he practices descending the stairs, saying Welcome, Milagros, come to my arms! Andrea says just say whatever comes into your mind. Connie rushes about, nervous, and Andrea twirls her hair.

I think we’re at Mili’s mama’s old house. Everybody is there waiting for Mili, except Lina and Bobby. Socorro has food laid out. They laugh and talk about dancing and speculate on whether there’s enough room for that.

Over at Casa Belmonte, Connie has received the sign – he signals the musicians and starts down the stairs, saying Welcome Milagros … but it’s Hugo coming in. Connie stops in his tracks. Hugo asks Damien what’s up and Damien says it’s set up to be like a telenovela – all tears and smiles. Hugo says ah.

Braulio, Mili and Alex come into her mama’s house. Luci says this is your new home and Padre Manuel says you’re going to live here? But what about the wedding? Luci says they have to wait a year (is that a law?) and they’re already a couple, and besides it was her idea. Alex guarantees the padre that he will marry her in church, in a civil ceremony, everywhere.

Mili asks about Hugo and Vale says nobody knows. Mili says I hate to leave that unresolved. She and Alex are about to go to the next room to see the baby, and Mili thanks them all so much. They cheer her and hoot and holler.

Meantime over at Casa Belmonte, it’s all silence and the help is drooping. Andrea says maybe she won’t be released until tomorrow. Damien suggests calling Alex on his cell and Andrea says she will. Connie waits excitedly as she talks to Alex. She hangs up and tells him that Mili is at a party – at her new home. Hugo says boy the ink wasn’t even dry on the divorce. Connie explodes and tells everyone to get out. They all evaporate and he throws a pillow then slumps on the couch.

At the party, Padre Manuel is telling Luci how much she’s changed. She says yes, she’s different or at least is striving not to be the bitter woman she was and she had to have a tough lesson to teach her that. She asks the padre’s forgiveness and he gives it. He tells her to come to confession and get straight with God and she says she will. She asks after Nestor and the padre says he left Mexico on business and should be back. He says Nestor will really be surprised at the change in her. Alex and Mil come up and Alex says are you going to dance with my mother, or shall I? The padre says of course I will! Alex and Mili sway – she’s not getting any bed rest.

Connie is going nuts. He throws a big flower arrangement, tips a chair and the couch and goes after the defenseless pink balloons. Another flower arrangement, the refreshments table – he is a raging bull. He grabs the champagne bottle, cradles it, and crumples at the foot of the stairs.

Morning in the DF. We get an exterior shot of the guys’ start-up company and it is glossy and huge enough to hold a good 100 employees. They are in the office, playing cards to pass the time. They discuss how everybody is waiting on Mili hand and foot so she will rest. Bobby comes in and says sorry he’s late, but Lina made him eat breakfast. Rocky wonders why they get up so early just to play cards. Rocky answers that it’s important to open early in case a customer comes.

Bobby says that Connie is furious with Alex. Rosario shows up and asks for Alex. He shows her to his office. The other two exult as such a splendid client.

Connie is in a silky bathrobe, curled on the couch in his study. Andrea tells him to get up but he says he doesn’t want to do anything. Andrea tells him to pull out of his depression. Connie says who told you I’m depressed? Andrea says I don’t need anybody telling me – you’ve been cooped up here for days. Connie says I just needed to take some days off from all the pressures. Andrea says get up, shower, get dressed and let’s go out to eat. Connie says I don’t feel like it.

Andrea says she’s tired of being home. Connie tells her to go shopping or to the gym. There’s a new chauffeur, have him drive you. Andrea says it’s because you miss her, isn’t it? Connie says yes. The house was different when she was here. And Vale just sleeps here, the rest of the time she’s at Mili’s house. Andrea says do you miss Alex too? Connie says leave me alone and Andrea says you’re acting like an old man and I can’t stand it.

At Mili’s house, Luci and Vale are cooing over the baby. Mili comes in and they tell her to go lie down. She says no, she wants to make a sandwich herself, and besides she’d like to go play some soccer. Luci and Vale tell her no! They argue a bit and Vale says you’re supposed to be in my wedding. Mili says okay, but it wasn’t that bad an accident. Still, she agrees to behave if they won’t monitor her so closely.

Alex is talking with Rosario and says he understands she used to write his grandmother. She is surprised and he tells her his future wife told him. She tells him she has some properties she wants to develop with luxury flats and she wants his company to do it. Alex is very happy, but he explains that they are new and don’t have much infrastructure. Rosario hands him a check and says hire whoever you need – money is no object. Alex says not even the leading construction companies get that kind of advances. Rosario says you are the leading construction company because I picked you. Deal? Deal, says Alex, happy.

They discuss contracts etc. Then Alex says he has a question. He is aware that Belmonte Construction is stealing his clients even after they’ve reached the handshake stage by undercutting his prices. Rosario says don’t worry, that’s not going to happen.

Avances: Rosario is visiting the house of her childhood and she tells Luci that she used to live there when she was little. Luci says Rosario? You’re not dead? Some man is holding a gun to his head – who is it? Connie looks devastated.

Labels: guapos

Guapsters, I'm afraid it's another do-it-yourself recap, as my mother has been taken to the hospital. Since so much of the episode was given over to Hugo's absurd "confession" to comatose Mili, not much to do.

Yes, Mili finally woke up.
Two things I loved: Val putting makeup on Mili--'cause they're now the sisterhood of the traveling pantsuits.

Also, Connie jumping forward with the pen for Mili to sign the divorce papers.

See y'all later.

Someone please tag this post.

Labels: guapos

Before we get started, does it not seem that the next one…the angel thing is same story different people, spunky dark haired poor girl, heart of gold, trade a soccer ball for a bike, rich good looking blonde boy? Also Helen Rojo is in this and she takes babies to the Catholic Church more often than I take out my garbage.


We get to see the crash, the smash, the glass…say how did she avoid any cuts? Jest asking.
Now we get a rehash of the beach scene, cause it cost less to do rehash, than actually come up with new dialogue.

Consti is in the cafeteria with Val, he tells Val that indeed Mili is her sister. He says that she already knew that Consti got a servant pregnant and well Mili is the result. Val is horrified, “And you let her work as a servant?” “Well, I didn’t know the truth for a while and then Granny left her all the bucks, so why rock the boat?” Val asks if Al knows. “No”, Consti says and then continue in his best RatBastard explanation, no one could know because of his awesome political career. Wow Val stares at him like she is in some Grimm’s fairy tale and the magic spell has been broken and now she can see Consti for the little self-centered troll he has always been. Consti tells her that she can’t tell anyone her new sister news.
Val fires back and tells Consti, she admired him, thought he was the greatest thing since a “Cayman Bank Account”, she thought he was a God. Oh Senor Clayfeet. Now he has tossed all her good feelings into the trash. Val stomps off, Consti is left to sit in the cafeteria with runny eyes and try and scoop out a cashier girl who will fall for his “I’ve changed story”. I so wish she also got to see his famous, “Soy un Perverto” disc, oh icing on the cake.

Meanwhile, back at the waiting room, Hugo is all huddled up on daddy’s shoulder. Damien says they need to go home. Hugo says he must see Mili. Luci tells him to shut-up, get it through his head, Mili doesn’t want Hugo. Hugo says, “But she is my wife”. Luci is like, pull your head out, you and Mili are done, finished, through. Hugo looks sad, jeez I’d look sad too, if I almost killed someone, who might wake up and tell the whole sordid tale.

Socorro is sobbing at home about her missing pole dancing spawn, Mili’s fall and life just sucking in general. Horacio tries to cheer her up, by saying that Lina is probably having an awesome time on her honeymoon. Gee, that doesn’t seem to do the trick.

Oh look now we heard on over to the “Big Pole Palace” where little Karla is turning over her dinero to Chunky Torch Singer. She is way happy that she made so much dinero just shakin her moneymaker. Alas, Chunky takes a Big Cut and only gives Karla a small pittance. Room & Board. She tells Karla, that she is a Natural, just like her Ma. Karla does not want to be compared to her mother. She takes her small wad of cash and walks off. I know next time Karla will flinch some off the top.

Make at the mansion, Andrea comes down screaming for Soccoro, she wants café, she tells Horacio to get it for her. He tells her forget about it. She calls him insolent and narrows her cat eyes. Andrea better be careful, cause she may be on her way out when Consti finds out her part in the kidnapping of Mili. Oh Please, she’ll touch his leg and all will be forgiven.

Meanwhile, Val goes in to see Mili, she asks for a moment alone. She tells Mili that she ask for her forgiveness once before, but now they really are sister and please, oh please forgive her and don’t die.

Padre, Chunky Nun & Gloria show up. Gloria is very upset, she is afraid Mili will die. Padre the voice of reason says she is in excellent hands and everyone needs to go home and come back in the morning. Everyone leaves. I have no idea where Consti is. At this point I am operating under the assumption that he is busy making some candy striper.

Al will stay at the hospital with Mili.

Brau & Rosario Sr. arrive at the hospital. They talk to a nurse and tell her they are friends of the family. Mili is in a very delicate condition and no visitors until tomorrow. So of course, they find a doctor’s coat and mask and Rosario sneaks into the room. She tells the ever vigilant Al that she needs him to leave the room for a minute. We have some Hija moments. Al comes back and asks about Mili’s condition. Rosario says Love is the best medicine of all. Now excuse me, I have other patients to see. Egads….Princess go and share that with all the intensive care patients. She asks his name before she leaves and he says Belmonte…Egads otra Vez.

Oh looky, Consti is St. Deceptions, praying before Christ on the Cross. I think he had to check and make sure it was really Jesus as it has been so long since he has seen him. We go through the same lame promises that all sinners make, when pushed to the wall. Let Mili Live and I promise I will tell her and give her my name. Just like when you gave money to the church, if you didn’t have to tell her. AssHat,
Anyway, the good Padre comes in and talks to the now repenting Consti. Consti tells Padre that he knows Rosario is alive, but he is sure she is far away, he has a detective on it, but Granny spent years and came up with nothing. Consti departs, maybe he can catch the late show with Karla. AAAAAAAhhhhh
Padre remembers crazy lady the day Madre Superior died, he connects the dots.

Val tells Rocky she wants him to spend the night in her room and she really doesn’t care what RatBastard Daddy says. She tells Rocky that Mili is her sister. Oh the Muy Impactedness just goes on and on and on.

Next day…

Luci is sitting in the living room, Hugo comes bounding down the steps, he is off to the hospital. Not so fast, Luci wants to talk to him in the study.

At the hospital, Brau shows up and is all tearful over Mili. He tells Al that he did not tell Mili that Al & Mili weren’t brother and sister, because of hate. He is sorry. Al doesn’t care, he just wants Mili to get better.

Rosario is having breakfast, she is all happy she saw her daughter, cause a coma is better than dead. Perleta comes by cause he is trying to get money for the political party. Rosario agrees to a meeting.

That is pretty much it.

In the previews Hugo goes to the hospital and tells Al he has a present for him and hands him a box.
I totally hope it is a pair of thongs and he tells Al, they are Mili’s favorites, but I bet not.

Labels: guapos

Snapshot version of last night's episode since it is the first day of school and I'm squeezing this in during lunch.... As always, please fill in the gaps.

Hugo and Mili fought as she is not too agreeable about being kidnapped and alone in a hotel with him. She ends up falling over (and through the glass barrier) the balcony. She's hurt badly and Hugo begs her unconcious body to forgive him.

Connie has his private detective looking for Rosario. The detective says he's been looking for her for years, she probably doesn't want to be found. Look anyway, Connie tells him, 'cuz she's alive.

Karla shows up at Macarena's club. She'll start dancing tonight, with on the job training. Mono comes in and sees her dancing. He tells Macarena that Karla visited Damian in prison.

During a family dinner it is reavealed that Rocky and Val will have a civil service first, then a church wedding later---it's a deal they made with Connie. Luci doesn't understand. Andrea insults the staff, particularly Gloria. Luci asks if she was as bad as that before, her children tell her yes. Connie's not happy about the idea of Mili moving out. He reminds everyone that she'll lose her inheritance. Damian reminds him that the money would go to Connie, so he could just give it back.

Rosela is worried because Braulio hasn't called to arrange her secret meeting with Mili.

Mili is rushed to the hospital. The good Doctor tells Hugo that she's in a coma and it is very serious---they don't know if she'll make it.

Hugo calls Al and the family goes rushing out to the hospital.

Socoritto is left with the baby and she fills Horacio in on what happened with Karla.

Al attacks Hugo at the hospital, Damian and someone else pull him off of his cousin.

Mili has an out of body experience. She meets up with Regina in the white light. Regina tells her that her mother isn't here. The doctor is able to revive her and bring her back (very dramatic stuff if you missed the episode).

Al goes in and professes his love to in-a-coma Mili. He tells her that their plan is to grow old together and she needs to fulfill her promise.

Connie kicks Al out and then confesses to an unconcious Mili that he's her dad. Val over hears and she seems happy that Mili's her sister, but sad that Connie hid it for so long.

Braulio goes to meet Rosela, to tell her the news. He checks out her assistant (he scanned his backside). He fills her in and she wants to rush to the hospital to see her daughter.

Al goes back in with Mili and has a flashback to their time on the deserted beach. END OF EPISODE.

Labels: guapos

Not that I remember where it was before--2? Someone remind me.

Anyway, in our last scene it's Bobby and Lina's wedding day and Bobby has accepted a big fat check from Nestor "Ed McMahon" Miranda, who just wants to be in his son's life even if Alejandro doesn't know it. Well, Nestor, in some states we call that stalking.

Lina's looking fabulous for her wedding day in a pageant queen kind of way--big hair, lots of sparkle. She, Mili, and Gloria giggle about Sor Cachete's twin. Lina confesses she was nervous about Padre Manuel--he looked like he could have a heart attack and die, and then who would marry her and Bobby? No, but seriously, she's worried about his health too. We get a full-length of the gown and it's pretty, but not overly poufy. Just plain white with a little sparkle at the waist--empire, of course--in a matte white fabric. Lina promises to send postcards from her honeymoon…"Dear Gloria and Mili, no idea what the scenery's like, been doing it like bunnies, miss you lots, love Lina xxxooo." Mili tells them that she's going to move in with Alejandro. And his mom. And his kid. Gee, when you put it that way it just doesn't sound as romantic. Gloria gets teary that Lina and Mili are both leaving the house and Karla won't even be around to fight with because she got booted. Mili reminds her she's got Socorro and Horacio…and Valeria and Rocky at least until they get married. They all promise to visit each other often. Lina says they're invited to coffee some day when her "husband" is at the office. She's suddenly struck by how nice it sounds to say "my husband." Yeah, she'll get over that. What? Love you, Mr. 5ft :) Mili says that even though the three of them don't live together, they'll always be together because they're more than friends, they're sisters. Awwww. They didn't even ruin the moment by doing the en masse hip circles.

Padre Manuel is going slowly crazy, confronting Sor Cachete and Macarena. Macarena thinks that getting bit by every mosquito in the jungle is punishment enough for having her sister kidnapped ("secuestrada"). Padre Manuel brings up profaning the niches and says there aren't enough mosquitoes in Africa to make up for that. He wants a good reason not to call the cops on her. She asks "Cata" to speak up for her and reminds her about the times she defended her in Tijuana, which Sor definitely didn't want brought up. Macarena says it's enough punishment knowing that Sor and Mono gave all the money away to the poor. Sor Cachete asks for some time alone with her sister. Padre Manuel says he wants the matter settled before he has to go officiate at Bobby and Lina's wedding, so hurry it up. Would it be too obvious to say that Macarena's sweating like a whore in church? Ok, I won't.

In the foyer confessional, Alejandro and Luci tell Valeria and Rocky that they're moving out together. Constancio stands on the balcony and listens to Luci say that he's bad for her health and Andrea's just too much to put up with. Valeria sadly agrees that mommy needs to do what's best for herself. Then they add that Mili's going too. Valeria pouts about being all alone. Constancio just stands up there looking like he doesn't know what to say while Rocky proposes that they all move into Mili's house together. Um, hey there, gang, I've got a swell idea, what about if you all join forces to kick Constancio, Andrea, Damian, and Hugo out of the house instead? It's 5 to 4. More if you count the servants, who I'm sure would be only too happy to see those four leave. Luci says the house is too small for Vale and Rocky to move in with them. Alejandro reminds her they do have their own construction company. Everybody laughs together about the extreme home makeover they can give Mili's mom's old house.

Macarena cries about how Sor Cachete busted up their way cool cabaret act. Sor Cachete says she just couldn't take it, thinking about how disappointed their parents would have been to see them end up as "congaleras" (conga dancers, I take it). Macarena cries that their parents shouldn't have died and left them. Sor Cachete says once she realized she was on the wrong path, she just had to get out. Macarena says Sor Cachete's conversion was a little extreme. SC says she has a full life, serving God, serving tamales, etc. SC says she gets the same rush from that as Macarena does from performing. Macarena says singing is her passion, it makes her feel complete. SC asks about her other nefarious activities (theft, etc.), but Macarena says it's not that she enjoys it, it's just that life is hard. They both weep and ask each other for forgiveness, remembering that they don't have any other family, so they've gotta stick together. SC tells Macarena that Mono's a good man and she needs to treat him right. Padre Manuel comes in and says he won't ask that Macarena be charged with anything. He asks Macarena if she wants to go to the Amazon jungle on a mission. She freaks and leaves before PM can bust out laughing. Poor Macarena, she's probably going to have an allergic reaction every time she hears the word "jungle" from now on!

Braulio calls Rosario and tells her everyone will be at the church for a wedding, but he'll get Mili to go to the park with him after. Rosario says she'd rather see her at the café and maybe even talk to her. They set a time.

Socorro brings Karla to the convent so she'll have a decent place to stay. Karla whines. Socorro gets sick of it and tells her to shut it and be grateful for the little she's got. Socorro's not buying Karla's fantasy that Hugo will come around and end up helping her raise the kid. Socorro says they'll leave her suitcase now and talk to Padre Manuel after the wedding.

Andrea and Hugo plot. She tells him he's a scorpion and there's nothing in it for her, especially since Mili and Luci were leaving anyway. She remembers that Hugo betrayed her before. She says she no longer cares about Mili and Alejandro being together. Hugo works on her, saying that Constancio won't let Mili leave. So Andrea finally agrees to help him, on the condition that Mili never comes back. And it's a done deal. What can I say, I think we all knew this day would come. Just brace yourselves for ickiness.

Sor Cachete sings Ave Maria as Horacio walks Lina down the aisle. The words are changed and it's Spanish, not Latin. It's really pretty. Horacio does the handoff as the song continues. Lina's bouquet looks more like a big bunch of sparkly things than flowers. I think she can get away with it because of the understated dress, otherwise, we'd be verging on naco-ness there. The song goes on as Padre Manuel starts the wedding. I'm really entranced by these lyrics--they fit the tune, but aren't a translation of the Latin. Unfortunately I can't hear all of them over the other dialogue, but the gist of it is:

Ave Maria
Mother of love and kindness
Protect my soul, be my guide
O my mother, have mercy on me
Only you can calm my sorrows, calm my sorrows
To love you, oh mother, would be my delirium
To love you, with faith, and more each time
Oh mother mine, who lives in heaven,
One day I may see you
Ave Maria
Ave Maria

Ok back to the wedding, and we're doing it Mexi-Catholic style. Mili and Alejandro are the padrinos of the lazo. "Padrinos" as in sponsors, not godparents. You can have padrinos for quite a lot of things besides just pieces of the wedding itself--in some cases there might be padrinos of the hall, padrinos of the catering, padrinos of the music, etc. meaning that these people paid for whatever they're padrinos of, or did it themselves, or for the ceremony stuff, are the people who are coming forward with the item in question. Anyway, Padre Manuel blesses the lazo, which symbolizes their union. Then he calls over the padrinos of the rings, Gloria and Chamuco, and blesses the rings as a symbol of commitment and divinity of the married couple. Lina accepts Bobby as her husband, lack of haircut and all, and puts the ring on him. Bobby accepts Lina, baby and all, and puts the ring on her. Karla makes pissed off faces in the background as Bobby has a little trouble getting the ring on Lina's finger. Padre Manuel gives them permission to kiss…a little late for that, I think. Aw, they didn't do the coins…if they had, the coins would have been poured into their joined hands to symbolize their future prosperity as a couple. And that would have been a very good thing for these two, considering how the business is going so far…but wait, I guess Nestor's already taken care of that to some extent. Everyone but Karla and Andrea applauds. The happy couple head out of the church as everyone showers them with rose petals. They make out some more on the steps of the church.

Socorro brings Karla in to talk to Padre Manuel. She's trying to be gracious, but Karla's being bitchy. PM is ok with Karla hanging out for a few days. He'll keep her busy helping Sor Cachete out in the kitchen. She just keeps complaining. Socorro thanks Padre Manuel.

Everyone heads back to the house (What? No reception? Bobby and Lina just wanted to get the hell away from these people ASAP?). Andrea whines about what a tacky wedding it was. Damian tells her at least it was a wedding. Alejandro is jealous of Bobby. Andrea brings up Lina's baby belly. Mili gets in the dig that at least Lina can have a baby, not like Andrea who can't accomplish that even with "chochos" (old guys-but it's got other meanings in other countries, so I'd look it up before use, just in case). Luci says they make a lovely couple and she loved the wedding. Valeria's all excited about her wedding. Luci wants her and Alejandro to go to Padre Manuel to talk about the baby's baptism. Alejandro says he hasn't really given her name much thought. Dude, she's how old now? Poor little Nameless Baby Girl. Andrea asks if he wasn't thinking of naming her "Milagros." Al likes the idea, so does Valeria, but Mili wants her to be named "Regina." Luci suggests "Rosario" and Constancio chokes on his drink. He gets his face all wet and Luci just grins mischievously. Braulio seems to like the idea. I'm really digging the new sober Luciana. Her sense of humor is much better than Drunk!Luci.

Paolo has finished Rosario's disguising again and she giddily heads off to get a look at her daughter.

Socorro's reminding Karla to behave herself. See above re: too late for that. She says she'd rather go to a hotel and that Hugo will pay for it, but Socorro tells her to shut it again. Hugo doesn't care about her, he doesn't think the baby's his, etc. Sor Cachete comes up to take Karla to her "cell." She reacts pretty badly to the word. Socorro asks if Macarena is still there…she sure is and yells out a hi to "Amparo Rodriguez." Socorro tries to say that's not her, but Macarena has fond memories of Amparo Rodriguez. Karla is shocked to find out that her mother was a "taibolera" (table dancer) and Macarena graciously supplies that she was a damn good one! Poor Socorro. But it's about time Karla knew the truth about a lot of things, not that I would expect it to shock her out of her self-centered state.

Braulio cleans up the glass and muses that "Rosario" is a perfect name for NBG. Mili and Alejandro agree that her name will be Rosario Belmonte. Damian suggests that Constancio be the godfather. Constancio calls Luciana over and tells her she's gone too far. He asks her into the study. The baby lets a big smelly one go, so Al and Val go change her diaper. Braulio invites Mili to go "somewhere" with him, but he won't say where. Mili says she's going to go put on something comfy and then meet him in the kitchen. Andrea says they'll go up together and Mili reminds her to be careful since she's historically bad with stairs.

Hugo readies the chloroform. Mili does this weird thing of coming into the room without really looking around. Safety first, people! He gets the chloroformed hankie over her face and wrestles her down. Andrea comes in and tells him to hurry up. Hugo really doesn't have any idea how long she'll be knocked out, so Andrea just tells him to move it, Braulio's waiting for Mili. Hugo tells Andrea to check the hallway so he can get Mili to his room and carry her out the window. He keeps shushing Mili, like her being knocked out isn't enough. In the hallway they hear Al and Val wondering where the extra diapers are. Valeria almost opens the door to the room where Hugo and Andrea are hiding, but Al found the extra diapers. Hugo makes a clean getaway.

Luciana quite reasonably says she can't understand why Constancio would object to naming the baby after the woman he loves. Constancio says she's playing with fire, trying to get his hijos (children, multiple, including one or more males) close to the truth. Luciana reminds him that he doesn't have hijos, he has two hijas (children, multiple, all females). Constancio gets fussy about her bringing that up again. Luci tells him neither of the girls knows the truth…unless he suspects that Mili knows? He doesn't think so. Luci picks at him that Braulio knows…and Damian…and Padre Manuel. He says Andrea also knows, but he doesn't think anyone else knows. She reminds him that Sor Catalina knows. Then she breaks it to him that Nestor also knows. She asks if it doesn't seem strange that so many people know, but somehow it hasn't gotten to Milagros yet. She says the whole family are such experts at keeping secrets. Luci says, "See, for Milagros and the kids, the name Rosario doesn't mean anything, so don't worry." He says fine, but she needs to remember to keep her mouth shut. Luci says she doesn't drink anymore, so he doesn't have to worry about her tongue getting away from her. Luci says that Mili's going to be a great mom for Rosario, aka, the artist previously known as Nameless Baby Girl. Constancio wants to know why she likes Mili so much now. Luci says she finally realized how fabulous Mili is, duh. Constancio blusters that he knows it too, and that's why he doesn't want her to leave. Luci says when he finally gets the cojones to tell Mili the truth, she'll be grateful for his honesty. She leaves. Constancio starts counting on his fingers all the people who know the truth and remembers that he forgot Peralta. He's all proud of himself for remembering. Loser!

Sor Catalina chastises Macarena for outing Socorro. Macarena says she didn't know that "Amparo" was hiding her past, or that the girl standing there was her daughter. Catalina and Macarena put things together and realize that Karla is the baby Amparo was pregnant with when she left her lucrative table dancing career behind. Macarena can't remember if Amparo had gotten involved with a client or if the client raped her. She refuses to call her "Socorro." Macarena and Catalina remind each other to come visit. Sor Catalina wonders what happened to their parents' ashes when Macarena used the urns to hide the money in. From the look on Macarena's face, this better be a good story. She says she sprinkled the ashes in the park where their parents met. Sor Catalina approves of this and Macarena says "heh, and you thought I was so bad!" Somehow, I don't think the dorm where Mr. 5ft and I met would care to have our ashes sprinkled all over the carpet in the lobby. But I digress.

Karla gripes out Socorro for not telling her the truth and she disowns her. Karla says that Socorro is worse than she ever was. Socorro says she danced, but it was honest work, she didn't go with the clients. Karla's not buying it. She thinks it's why her dad left. Socorro wants to explain, but Karla doesn't want to ever see her again. Socorro reminds Karla that she needs her because she's got a baby on the way. Karla says she doesn't need anybody, and she's not staying at the convent. She doesn't want to be anywhere near Socorro. Ungrateful little creep.

Disguised!Rosario tells a waitress she's waiting for her daughter. She orders a coffee.

Horacio waxes rhapsodic about the wedding. He says she looked like a queen, "la condenadota" (I think this is something to do with "condemned" and adding that "-ota" ending which is something like "really, really"). He says he's upset that Socorro's having such a bad time with Karla. Rocky disses Karla. Braulio gets impatient waiting for Mili. He says they should have gone already, but Mili hasn't come downstairs.

Macarena and Karla are both outside the convent. Macarena hails a cab. She sees a sobbing Karla and sends the taxi away. She goes over to talk to Karla. Karla says she's upset that her mother was a table dancer and she lied to her her whole life. Macarena tells her to get over it, there are worse things to find out. Macarena says she's a congalera herself, but Karla doesn't believe it. Karla says she's got a baby on the way and she has nowhere to go since she won't stay at the convent. Macarena agrees that the convent's way too dull with all that work and prayer going on. Macarena offers to help her. Karla wonders how. Macarena says she can get her a job and a place to sleep, but it's a dancing job like her mom had. Karla agrees and the ladies hail a cab.

Socorro cries and Sor Catalina comforts her. She says Karla had to find out sometime. Socorro's upset that she found out like this when she was pregnant, just got fired, etc. and it was too much all at once. Sor Cachete says Karla's young and she'll have time to take it all in ("asimilarlo") and get over it. Socorro wonders if Karla will ever forgive her. SC says forgiveness will come with time. Socorro says she's upset that Karla didn't even take time to listen to her. She wonders where Karla will go and what will happen to her and the baby.

Braulio asks Andrea, who is sitting in the all purpose room flipping through a magazine, if she's seen Mili. Andrea lies that Mili left about 10 minutes ago. "How would I know where she's gone…can't you see I'm busy! You people don't think, that's why you'll never stop being what you are--filthy servants! Out of my sight!" If it were anyone but Andrea that would have given away her guilt. For once her arrogance and bitchyness are working in her favor.

Hugo drives a knocked-out Mili somewhere. He stops the car and takes the opportunity to rub up against her and remember the conversation when she begged him to marry her. He cries. He remembers their wedding…including Mili's slight hesitation. Hugo crazies that they'll never be separated, never, because she's his wife and he loves her, a lot, and he can't let her go. Mili snoozes on.

Alejandro goes into Mili's room and finds Luci packing up Mili's stuff. They agree to go over to the new house tomorrow, even though Alejandro would rather go today. Alejandro says they can't leave too early because baby Rosario (Hm, is this why the writers decided Rosario the elder changed her name to "Rosela?" Perhaps I will do a homage to ER and call them "Little Rosario" and "Big Rosario") wakes him up every five minutes and won't let him sleep all night. Luciana says she really likes the name. Alejandro loves that she proposed it, especially in front of Constancio. Luciana talks about the packing of everyone else's stuff, but says she doesn't have any stuff of her own to pack. Alejandro thanks her for being there and being a mom he can be proud of. As Luci keeps packing, a picture of Regina and Mili falls off a shelf and the glass cracks. Luci gets a baaaaad feeling about this.

Hugo has Mili up in some loft-type bedroom with a glass wall separating it from a big drop. Mili wakes up all groggy and then remembers about him doing something to her in her room. Crazy!Hugo says he can't let her go off with Alejandro. She threatens to scream. He says they're in a hotel and they're going to spend the night together there, then tomorrow they'll go away together like they should have done in the first place. He reminds her he'd never let her go no matter what. He says they're going to start a new life far away from everybody else and they're never coming back, never. Mili looks around nervously.

Monday: Mili fights to get away from Hugo and Hugo fights right back. We also get a lot of "Ultimos Capitulos" flashes including, if I'm not mistaken, Mili crashing through the glass wall in the loft.

Labels: guapos

Well, rats. In the paper, the TV schedule for tonight said all our shows at the usual times and the Democratic convention at 10:00. So I set my tape and went out to dinner with friends. I got home and turned on the TV at 10:00 and saw the closing credits for Guapos. Uh oh.

Since I always set the tape for an hour and 10 minutes, I did get the beginning part and here it is. For the rest, I hope you all can fill in with whatever you can remember. I am super bummed to have missed the show and to not have a full recap for you.

Here’s the first 10 minutes:

Luci is telling Mili that she should come live with her, but she remembers the stipulation in the will that Mili remain in the house. Mili breaks the news to her about the paper she signed giving Hugo everything upon their divorce. Luci says her brother takes the cake. Mili says she doesn’t care about her inheritance, that what Regina left her is in her heart, and that’s what counts. Mili says she would love to live with her.

Luci says it won’t be just the two of us. Cut to a scene of Alex smiling smugly, walking down the hallway of Casa Belmonte. He runs into Hugo who says wipe that stupid smile off your face. Alex says he’s a happy guy because he and Mili are going to go live together in Mili’s mother’s house. Hugo reminds him that he and Mili aren’t divorced and says don’t think he’s going to give his permission.

Alex says I’m not asking, I’m just letting you know. Don’t you think Mili and I have the right to build our new lives? Alex tells Hugo after impregnating Karla he needs to straighten out his own life and not waste time messing in the lives of others. Hugo says he and Mili are still married and Alex says not for long because the minute you are divorced, Mili and I are going to get married whether you like it or not. Hugo says we’ll see about that.

Luci tells Mili that Alex and the baby will be coming too. Blushing almost-virgin Mili says but there are only two bedrooms there and we’re not married. Luci says you will be very soon, and it’s not healthy for you and Hugo to live together in the same house. Mili remembers how mad she was at Hugo, he’s a liar and a coward.

Luci asks if the Karla situation was painful for her and Mili says yes, but on Karla’s account, not her own. The terrible things Hugo said to Karla right in front of her mother and everyone, and there she is pregnant and all! Luci says she understands about Hugo, that pain brings out the worst in people, and that she thinks he is desperate, that’s why he acted that way. That’s why you need to get out, says Luci. Alex loves you and won’t do anything to harm you. You need this, and you know what, so do I.

Hugo is brooding and thinking out loud. You are not going to go away with him, he snarls, I’m not going to allow it.

It’s nighttime out front of Casa Belmonte. Alex, Bobby, Horacio, Rocky and Chamuco are hootin’ and hollerin’ getting pumped to go out for Bobby’s stag party. Here comes Braulio in his street clothes following by the preening Ramses. Rocky says who invited him (Ramses)? Braulio says I did, he’s my…. friend. Alex says aw let him come, Rocky.

Vale and Mili in her sparkly red cowboy hat appear on the porch. Ramses tells Vale she looks amazing. Rocky pushes him aside. Vale reminds Rocky that he’s not to flirt at the party. Ramses tells Vale don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him. Mili tells Vale, come on, Lina and Gloria are waiting. Horacio says isn’t Socorro going and she appears and says yes, the whole Karla thing has bummed her out, and she’s going out with the girls to have some fun. The girls tell the guys to behave and they say you all behave.

Alex asks Mili if he can talk to her for a second. And…click! End of tape.

Labels: guapos

Well, looks like our follow-up novela is official. Last night I saw promos for "Cuidado con el Angel," coming "muy pronto." So no Tontas for us. If you did not fast forward through these commercials, you saw a couple of really strange conversations between a priest and a woman and someone floating with giant angel wings. Reminded me of that awful movie (that I never saw) with John Travolta wearing giant angel wings. This is supposed to be better than Tontas? We shall see. Pasion fans will be pleased to know it stars William Levy, Vasco from Pasion.

Back to Guapos, which is proceeding apace to the finish line. We start with the scene of Al and Hugo following Mili and Gloria to Mother Superior's funeral. Everyone is wearing black, but our boys are not exactly paying the proper respects. No, they are letting their testosterone get the best of them and exchanging insults and starting to butt heads physically. Tiny Padre Manuel once again has to intervene, which is always funny.

Cut to Starbucks, where Braulio (sans gloves!) is catching up with his long-lost sister. We know she was a widow of a rich Italian guy, and she was not happy. She did not have any kids--she couldn't, not after her terrible loss. She came home to confront her past. She never thought she'd find that Connie was enslaving their daughter as a servant. Braulio tries to fill her in on the facts, as that is not totally accurate. He says that Regina never stopped looking for both of them. Rosario says Regina was always so good to her. Brau says she always loved Rosario and was tormented.

Mili and Gloria have left the boys fighting and have made it into the kitchen, where fake Sor Cachete is ruining a batch of tamales. I love these scenes with Macarena's attempts to fake being a nun, and no one quite catches on but they think she's acting funny.

Mili says that her mother and grandmother now have company in heaven, now that Mother Superior has joined them. They're "comadres." (This seems to be the feminine of compadres--never heard it before.) Fake Sor says that if they were such good friends they'd help make these goldarned tamales, but she is reminded that all of them are dead! Mili now asks what's wrong with SC--she never asked for help before. Gloria points out that SC is rushing and making a mess. Fake Sor suggests saying a rosary to pray for a tamalista to take over. The girls wonder why SC isn't crying over the loss of Mother S. She had enough at that blasted wake. I'm not sure if I've got the next part right, but I think "Sor" says that she's going away--she asked MS right before she died. Where? She can't tell, it was under seal of confession. The Vatican won't let her tell. The girls point out that she's not a priest, but she says she's a nun. They laugh that she doesn't know how to keep secrets anyway.

"Sor" now hands over the tamale making to the girls and walks away. Lina comes in wants to try some. I love Lina's exaggerated singsong delivery--MMMMM---Tamaaahhles! Uh-oh. "Guacala, they taste like a baby's diaper." They have no filling, just masa.

Cut to the "lair," where Mono, real Sor, and that friend are saying a rosary for Mother S. Isn't it interesting that Sor Cachete has long blong hair and french braids under her wimple?

Luci calls Socorro in to discuss Karla's pregnancy. After many fits and starts, Karla spits out the truth. Luci rubs Socorro's shoulder soothingly. Luci is just so nice now, golly gee!

Braulio is still filling in the details about Mili. Fortunately, Mili managed to tell Regina just before she died about being her granddaughter, so Regina died happy. It must have been a blow to Connie that his mother adopted his daughter and gave her everything. Rosario is still outraged that Connie is putting his career before recognizing his daughter. She then decides purely as a gratuitous plot device that she is worried about what Mili will think when she learns she is still alive. She will not reveal herself right away to Mili, and much less Connie. She is Rosella Di LLano. There is a stupid joke about Braulio being unable to prounounce her last name, and it's repeated later. Dumb.

Another scene of Hugo and Al fighting.

Cut to the rosary. Macarena barges into the lair, and Sor C yells at her for unterrupting the sacred rosary. God will punish you. Nah, he already has, with that trip to the jungle. Mono covers her lips so they can continue the prayer.

So we can have more mistaken identity fun, Rosela decides she nonetheless has to get a glimpse of her daughter. Brau promises to bring Mili to a nearby park, where Rosela will stalk. He says it's uncanny how alike they look, like two drops of water.

Luci now confronts Damian in the house. He wants a hug, but she says nothing doing--you threw me under the bus and took all my money. He then offers her a drink! I'm sorry, but he's worse than Connie. Luci demands that Hugo give Mili a divorce, and that's not all. You're going to be a grandpa--by Karla.

Back at the church, PM is still trying to get the boys to stop fighting, and the girls come out. He says behave like gentlmen, and develop a thick skin (cuero duro) for these insults. Speaking of thick skins, says Lina--here come Socorro and Karla. Socorro is all broken up and addresses Mili first--she say she is so sorry to have to report that Mili's husband . . . Hugo tries to get her to stop, but she forges on. He's been with Karla, and Karla is pregnant. Mili is impactada.

Lina intones--that it must be catching, like a cold. Everyone gets it sometime. Karla says no, you got pregnant so you can play with dolls.
Mili asks Hugo if it's true, and Karla pipes in with the fastest speech I have ever heard: I had to pause several times to read the captions:
Whaddya think, stupid? (tarada). That he could stand being with a girl like you who won't stop being a prude? (mojigata). Socorro tells her to stop, she has no shame.

Al tells Hugo that he's a piece of work--he was with Karla but he won't give Mili a divorce? Hugo says it doesn't mean it's his kid--Karla's a ho. Padre Manuel tries to intervene, but Hugo says that the real problem is "this imbecile," pointing to Al. They're back to full on wrestling, and Padre Manuel jumps on top while the girls scream.

Luci is still going over the pregnancy situation with her beloved brother. Damian tries to excuse his behavior as being Connie's fault. Luci insists that Hugo divorce Mili. Damian wants to know what her interest in that "mugrosa" is. Luci says that when Regina was alive, she wanted Luci to get to know Mili. Regina gave her a second chance. Damian thinks she's up to something (tramando). He tries to give her a drink, but she puts it on the table and bravely resists drinking it.

Back to the church, where PM has the boys doing penalty pushups. Karla has her foot on Al's back to add resistance, and Mili has her foot on Hugo. Socorro laments: why is my daughter like this? Lina, like Don Rickles, says: Karla is like a red light: after 12 midnight, no one respects it! Hissss. While standing over the boys, Karla taunts Mili for being jealous, but Mili says it's the lack of honesty she can't stand. They learn that three months have gone by since they've been doing it. (this time span may be important, students.) The girls start fighting, and Padre M makes them do pushups too. Karla wants to be excused because she's pregnant, but he says it will be good for the baby. (He throws a shmatte over Karla's behind for modesty.) Lina throws in another insult: Karla is like a tabla de uno--muy facilisimo. I can't figure out what this means but it sounds like part of it is Karla is very easy.

Val, Luci and the nameless baby have a snugglefest, then Val goes off to prepare for a night out. Andrea comes in and sneers at "old granny." Andrea agrees that they can't live under the same roof. Luci wants to stay because of her kids. Andrea says it's her home now. The baby cries, and Luci begins a bedtime story: "Once upon a time, there was a witch named Andrea . . ."

Macarena has now had it--she has no religious vocation. She was in the jungle for three months and was covered in mosquito bites. She takes off her wimple and complains to Mono. She is jealous of how close he has become to her sister, but he says it's only because it's so amazing how her sister looks just like her and her presence gives him peace. Macarena says he should stay with Cachete, then. No, my skinny one, I need you. Well, she still wants the money. She's tired of dressing as a nun--she's losing her "sex appeal." (said in English)

Padre Manuel now has the four miscreants in his office. Hugo doesn't want Padre Manuel telling him what to do. He suggests abortion, and Padre M is horrified. Mili tries to soothe Karla, but Karla pushes her away.

Rosella is waiting in the park. Brau comes and explains that Mili was detained at the church. They will try meeting tomorrow at the mansion.

Now it's Connie's turn to taunt Luci with a drink, but she wisely refuses. He says she looks different, prettier. He likes the change. She says that he has to change. And for her to succeed in remainining sober, she won't let him take her down ever again. Connie drinks her drink and his.

Cut to the news: Obama has been nominated by acclamation. Back to the show.

Morgan models his new outfit for Val, but he's worried about his credit card bills. He should worry! Hasn't he been reading the papers? I hope the Stooges' business picks up before we have a PSA on bankruptcy. They trade jibes about the bachelor and bachelorette parties they're going to (for Bobby and Lina). Each promises not to do anything naughty. Ramses looks on pointlessly.

Braulio brings brunch for Ramses and tries to flirt with him. Ramses says Braulio seems happy. Brau says it's because he had a re-encounter with someone from the past. Clueless Ramses asks if it's a girlfriend? Brau says no, it's family. He bats his eyelashes shamelessly some more and says he's single and available. Slap! Ramses asks Brau to help him get Val back, and poor Brau makes a face.

Back in the bat-painting studio, Hugo is again slopping paint on canvas. Damian allows as it's funny they both had the same girl. They both claim to have used protection with Karla. Damien says he was with Karla about a month ago. Hugo says it could be Damian's baby--or a third party. (My theory: It's possible that Karla is more than one month pregnant, so then we will know it's Hugo's.) They decide to take care of Karla in some ominous way. We know this because the piano music of doom plays.

Mili and Al rehash the events for Luci. She then makes him promise to behave at the bachelor party. Luci is glad to watch nameless for the evening. She asks why Mili doesn't call her "suegrita" yet. Mili says soon. Aw . . .

Socorro and Karla are arguing in the kitchen, and Damian comes in and orders Karla out forever. He really doesn't have the power to do this, and I don't know why Socorro doesn't consult Mili and Luci. Plot device! Socorro says she can't help Karla anymore. Soco will beg Padre M to let Karla stay at the convent till she finds work. Socorro cries bitterly.

Mili is putting on makeup while Luci watches indulgently. Mili tells her all about how she and Gloria used to get away with pranks at the convent. When Madre S gave them punishments, they wouldn't finish them.
Luci now tells Mili that for her own peace, she can't live in the mansion with Connie, Damian and Andrea--they are enemies of her sobriety. She wants to go back to the little house, and she wants Mili to come too.

Padre M sees fake Sor Cachete. She begins complaining to him again, and he says he is beginning to worry about her. Just then, the gang arrives to take both of them to the respective bachelor and bachelorette parties. Padre M is scandalized.

Real Sor begs Mono to let her out of her imprisonment. She can't believe no one has caught on to her sister yet. She says she'll show him the money urn if he gives the money to the poor.

Luci tells Mili that Mili must get out of the house too--for her own good. Mili says she signed all her money away. Luci says it's okay--they have Abuelita--they won't go alone.

Tomorrow, Mili and Al tell Hugo they're going to live together. The gals get into some hijinks at the bachelor party.

Labels: guapos

Mili & Luci arrive back at the House of Horrors. Hugo and Consti are indeed surprised to see them. Both AssHats try to pull the “Husband and you will answer to me” crap. Jeez you would think these two were related by more than marriage. Luci & Mili, tell the boys to basically STFU, those days are gone. Mili will get her divorce and Consti will give one to Luci as well. Consti offers Luci a drink, “Come on a Whiskey”. Luci says no, she doesn’t drink anymore. Consti presses hard, Mili tells him to leave Luci alone, he is the devil. They are standing together and they aren’t going to be pushed around anymore.
--See I don’t care what anyone says, Consti is basically a RatBastard through and through and outside of giving me all his money, there is nothing that could redeem him in my eyes—

The kids come in Val & Al & lil Nameless. Luci gives a fine display, of hurt eyes. The kids stand back, they don’t know what to make of Ma, in her fine cocktail dress. Luci takes the threesome to the study.
Al & Val don’t instantly rush in Mama’s arms..Once bitten twice shy.

Luci take little mewing Baby and never once does she say, “What is the kid’s name?” Maybe Mili clued her in that “We just don’t talk about it”.

Over in the Convent, Rosario is wailing and chastising, Mother Superior, all while wearing a scary cow dress. Mother through, deep breathes confirms that yes, the Hija is alive. She had to do what Don Belmonte told her. Mother Superior sucks in her last breath. Now Rosario is really angry. Here comes Padre Manuel and he manages to get to the Madre to give her a blessing. Personally I think she went to the light to escape the annoying BelMonte folks. Really Madre, trust me I feel the same way. Finally, Padre gets Rosario into his office and yes we would think that he would get the whole, story out of the wailing heifer (okay bad pun). He just knows that her baby was stolen and on that uplifting note, Rosario heads back to the barn.

Now over in the Mansion, to make a long, pink eyed story short, Val says they called Ma numerous times, but were told how she didn’t want to talk to them. Luci fills the kids in on her near death, how Mili and Rocky rescued her, how she owes them her life, how Mili paid all the bills. There is simply not a dry eye in the room (that being their room, not mine). She apologizes for screwing with their lives, she wants to help Val with her wedding, her dress, the drink list (okay I added that), she also wants to help Al with his (to Mili). She wants them all to be one big happy family. She must live for them and Nameless.

--Okay this is my take, I am happy with the Luci change and I will indeed give her a pass; and mostly cause I hope it will cause great pain to Consti. Granted, Luci was a bit of a shrew these past few years, but living with him was indeed painful. He one of those nasty males; reminds you each and everyday that you will never be good enough and how happy he would be if you were dead. As if, AssHat; no one forced you to marry Luci, you could have said no. –

Ramses (Damn this guy is such a Tool and I can’t help but believe if he was honest with himself, he’d be all over Brau in a heartbeat), anyway Consti is pacing and Brau is pretending he is listening. He reads Consti, the agenda for tomorrow. Big meeting with Perleta. Ramses gets up to go to bed with a quick breathe spray & another spray under his arm. In comes Andrea. She has finally found the shoes she was looking for, I guess they had them at CFM Amante Zapatos de Fino. Consti is distracted and Andrea asks if he is still mad that she tore up the picture of “The Dead Love of His Life”.
Consti announces that Luci is back. Andrea drops the shoe bag.

Luci goes out and Mili and Rocky are pacing the floor, she tells them it went well. Val & Al come out and thank their respective better halves for taking care of Ma. Rocky & Val not being to others and having no Nameless trophies to lug about are all romantic cheesy with each other. Mili and Al are a bit more restrained.

Brau comes up and he is in seventh heaven to see the real “Mistress of the House”, that would be the form of Mistress meaning Lady of the House, not cheap skanky Amante Mistress of the House. Oh egads all the clothes are gone and Andrea has redecorated the bedroom. Luci version 2, is fine with it. Just find her an empty room and she is good to go.
Rosario returns to her apartment. Pablo her assistant is there and she tells him that yes indeed her daughter is alive. The Madre went into the Great Unknown, before she could further berate her or smack any good information out of her. However, she knows it is all Don RatBastard Jr’s fault. See the Madre Superior was running on borrowed breathe and didn’t have enough to give a first name, so Rosario assumes that Consti is the RatBastard as opposed to his RatBastard father, which is okay as there is plenty of RatBastardness to go around.

Rosario has a totally swell idea, Pablo, run like a little girl and go get my agenda. He returns and she looks up a phone number.

The phone rings as Mili and the group are standing around wasting oxygen. “Is this the BeleMonte House”, Rosario inquires. Mili says “Yeah, who do you want to talk to”. Rosario says, “Consti BeleMonte?” Mile again affirms, “Do you want to speak with him?” “No is Brau there” Rosario answers. Mili says yes “Brau is the Majordomo, do you want to speak with him”. Rosario hangs up.

Brau walks up and it is time to move Luci, Andrea walks up and Luci says she would like a word alone with Andrea. Andrea is all up on it. Luci tells her she doesn’t want to fight with her, she will happily grant the divorce and Consti and Andrea can continue with their plans. She wants Consti and Andrea to hit the pavement, go make a happy new life for themselves and leave her in peace with her children. Andrea bitch that she is can never have enough, she wants Luci out. Luci begs to differ, you got my husband, now leave me the house.

Padre comes by and is just standing and staring off in space, Gloria and Mili tease him, he finally gets out that Mother Superior is dead.

Chunky Nun, who is now living in the back room of the bar, is sitting around lamenting her fate. Big Guy is doing some exercise with this big like rubber band thing. (I had one of those, but gave it up after taking it out of the box). He tell Chunky about how the kids called him names like Gulliver in school and Chunky says kids are mean. She tells him he has a good heart. The other guy, I think they called him Moreno, comes in to give Chunky the news that Mother Superior is dead. The other fake nun sister called with the news. Chunky breaks down and cries, Big Guy pets her head. He is a nice guy and I kinda wish they would hook-up, like it would be cool, if Torchy Sis & Sister Sis, decided to switch places, well except for the fact that Torchy Sis has been nailin Big Guy and that always kinda creeps me out when that whole sibling thing gets started.

Anyway back at the Mansion, Consti is sitting on the couch in the bedroom and Andrea starts ranting that he needs to get rid of Luci like now. Consti says “Leave him in peace and let her spend some time with the kids”. Andrea does what she does best, she starts rubbing Consti’s leg and though he tries to resist they are soon, all hot and heavy. Next they are in bed and post actual (or post the act). Now Andrea is starting in again. Sorry I missed what was said, but I’m sure if you go back and read any recap, it is pretty much the same crap. I can’t help but wonder, when Consti and Rosario get together, no spoiler..Please this is a TeleNovela you know they will if Consti will use his best Barry White voice and say “Soy un Perverto”? He is such a ladies man.

Next Day…
Karla is in the kitchen with Ma & Step Pa, Hugo comes in and says he wants to talk to her alone in the garden. Karla looks scared. Okay Hugo is telling her that he will give her the dinero, but she needs to lose the baby. Karla says No, it is your baby and she isn’t doing it. Hugo gets snippy and Luci has been standing a few feet away and listening. Yes the phenomenon of people standing in full view at the Mansion continues as people tell deep secrets never noticing the person is there.

Over at the office Perleta tells Consti, due to the interest of “Someone Dillona”; I forgot what name Rosario is traveling under, that looks like party presidency is back in Consti hands. This Dillona chick is the rich widow that has been living in Italy and she wants to put the dinero on Consti. Too bad for Damien, who now comes in and hears the news.

Perleta leaves and Consti gloats, takes the divorce papers Mili signed and tears them up. He asks if Damien knew Luci was back? Damien chokes, no he had no idea. How is she? Consti says, “Okay he knows Damien intervened and now once again as always he has Damien in his hands. Consti basically says that he owns Damien and Damien will do what ever Consti says. Which I guess means, Dude we are going to screw your sister over, yet again. Damien has that “What’s new?” look.

Brau answers the door---EEK it is long dead sister, he is scared, he hasn’t had time to realize that ghost probably don’t age. She says she is alive and holds out her hands to him. He says, “Where were you, I thought you were dead”.

Shhh we can’t talk here and they leave. Once again she is wearing a butt ugly suit thing. Jeez if you are going to live rich in Italy for 20 years, you should at least get a decent fashion sense.

Meanwhile Luci butts into the conversation between Hugo and Karla, “You are preggers?” Karla says yes. Luci goes down the list of “Whose the Daddy, Damien?”, Nope “Dead Fred (Fernando)?” Nope, it is Hugo’s. Hugo is like, “it is not mine”.
Luci looks pissed, but do not despair dear viewers, remember Mili bought Luci a new heart.

Over at the StarBucks, Brau & Rosario are having big heaping helpings of the coffee of the day, a rich roast called “United Siblings” hmmmmmm. Brau is still a bit put off. I can understand it, I mean he thought she was dead, but she didn’t so much as send a postcard of the leaning tower in Veinte Anos. Well, she was pretty depressed after she didn’t lose the baby, (now that the truth has come out), and RatBastard Belemonte Sr, paid for her to leave the county. Say that should be a TeleNovela unto itself, poor servant girl goes to Italy and becomes fabulously wealthy. She says she knows her baby is alive. Brau says yes.

Now then over at the Convent , Gloria and Mili are walking, Padre is in the middle and Al & Hugo bring up the back. In a totally Naco manner, Al & Hugo begin shoving each other over Mili. Padre almost says some bad word, tells the girls to go on ahead. Hugo & Al start fighting and the Padre is in the middle.

This is all I can remember,

Tomorrow looks like Karla confesses her preg to Ma & Step Pa…
Luci goes after Hugo, see fans I told you…
Mili overhears that Hugo has been indeed hiding the salami…

My advice is Hugo STFU, you only look worse each time you open your mouth, sign the papers and give it up. You can’t say, Jeez Mili, I told her to get an abortion.
Also I am thrilled that the same actors that were in La Madastra get to repeat the same tired line “Veinte Anos”
I can’t remember anymore as I don’t want to use any more braincells on this.
We are in the Ultima Semanas and I could literally do somersaults.

Labels: guapos