Tuesday, May 05, 2020

Me Declaro Culpable #56, 5/5/20: Premios del Patio


Best Alternative Medicine Award:

Franco, treating Alba in her hospital bed with ultraviolet light from his teeth.

Best Opening Conversational Gambit Award:

Roberta to Mauro: So when's the funeral?

Most Toxic Telenovela Parent Award:

Mauro to Roberta: If you don't shape up, I'll set you on fire TOO! No one would miss you. Then Alba can move in with me and be my favorite daughter.

Best Monkey Typist Award:

When the van in whose windows Gabe & Lollipop are admiring his new luke pulls away, and behind it is...Julieta in a taxi.

Lemon Frog Award:

Natalia's potato-dress, which is easily six inches shorter than Alba's.

[And now, another commercial break from St. Jude's. Do you think they pay Televisa to give all those kids leukemia?]
Read more »

Labels:


Monday, May 04, 2020

TELEMUNDO Y MÁS (#1): Cennet, 100 Días para Enamorarnos, La Reina del Sur 2 (edición especial), y más: Week of May 4, 2020

Welcome to Page 1 (Monday edition) of the Telemundo y Más page, issued twice a week:  Mondays and Thursdays at 8:00 PM.

Here are the current evening telenovelas (all times are Eastern Daylight Time):
  •     8-9PM -    Cennet
  •     9-10PM -  100 Días Para Enamorarnos
  •    10-11PM -  La Reina del Sur 2 (edición especial)
Everyone is welcome to join in the conversation.  Since discussions of all the Telemundo novelas share the same page, please remember to put the name of the telenovela you're referring to at the top of your post so readers can easily find the conversation they're looking for.

By common agreement, this group DOES NOT discuss previews, trailers, or any other plot information not found in a current or past episode of the current production.  Spoilers WILL be removed by the admin.  This includes references to earlier productions of the story, and even the original novel.  Thanks for your cooperation!

Labels: , , ,


Me Declaro Culpable #55, 5/4/2020: Time To Wrap This Mess Up!

We're nearing the finish line, Patio.  Still a lot of loose ends dangling, and they may still be after the gran finale, but at least some of our side stories are winding up.  So let's just hunker down and get this one over with.

We start with a reminder of Tizzy and Bertie's latest murderous pact.  Roberta eggs him on by promising to be a passionate, committed lover once he takes care of Alba's assassination in jail.  And together they happily propose a toast to that grisly prospect.  Our  gruesome twosome are well matched, don't you think?

Read more »

Labels:


Friday, May 01, 2020

Me Declaro Culpable #54, 5/1/20: May Day—May Day, Save the Women and Children First


There are four in play that need saving STAT--Gabe, Nat, Nat’s baby and Alba (and maybe Franco later) First things first—a petit revue from yesterday, hooked onto today’s episode.

Bertie pays a call to Alba (first of many prison visits this episode)
Bertie is gloating as she tells Alba about her questionable parentage. Her cruddy old powerful lawyer daddy thinks it’s so, so he must have had some proof, like DNA test results. The result is that Gabe is now living with Papi and not only has had custody transferred from Ingrid to Mau, but he’s also now Gabe’s legal guardian. (I guess that’s good news for now.) Alba is all cara de impactada that she is Mau and Maria Luisa’s bastarda illegitimate child. She asks Alba to say hi to Nat and that she loves and misses her. Alba says to tell her herself. Bertie can’t stand the idea of seeing her daughter from behind Bullet Proof Plexiglas, but promises to give Gabe some hugs for her. Alba recoils in anger. Bertie enjoys her verbal conquest with a witches' laugh saying that when the end comes for him, she’ll be there to pull his plug—an act of love, no?

If Pao had been an oyster, he’d be a dead one
Julian drills down through Pao’s thin shell of self-confidence in the most emasculating way. Julian claims to be Nat’s baby’s daddy calling into question Pao’s manhood. He tells Pao how Nat would seek him out, left unsatisfied by Pao’s prowess en la cama.
Read more »

Labels:


Thursday, April 30, 2020

Me Declaro Culpable #53, 4/30/20: Just another day on the crazy train!

Our Thursday recapper has had life get in the way, so we are all jumping in to get something up on the board.   Please add to this, if only in the comments.    I'm working from memory, since I watched and deleted hours ago.

-  Mauro goes to the Turquoise House of Horrors and Skankiness and tells Gabe he is invited to come live with him.   Bianca is in the background, shaking her head a big ole  YES!   Gabe hasn't had enough chemo to have the dreaded "chemo brain" , so he totally agrees to do that.  He does not trust Ingy.   Ingrid tried to guilt trip him on staying, Mauro called her on that, and I had to mute the TV to shut her up.

 - Alba's day in court.   First, did I miss something? She and Franco are acting like they have kissed and made up.  Seriously, did I miss something?     But I digress.   Gael is there, too, and he has done his homework.  He has Javier's attending nurse on the witness stand, with a timeline.  Alba checked in at 11:43 to see Javier.  Shortly after, she ran down to the nurse's station all freaking out,  because she had unplugged Javi and plugged him back in.   Expert witness said the alarms did not sound because the equipment had  been unplugged for thirty seconds, not long enough for alarms to ring.

Read more »

Labels:


TELEMUNDO Y MÁS (#2): Cennet, 100 Días Para Enamorarnos, La Reina del Sur 2 (special edition), y más: Week of April 27, 2020

TELEMUNDO WEEKEND EDITION (continuación)

Here's Page 2 for the week.  The current evening telenovelas are as follows (all times are Eastern Daylight Time):

• 8-9PM—Cennet
• 9-10PM—100 Días Para Enamorarnos**
• 10-11PM—La Reina del Sur 2 (special edition)

**La Dona 2 ended on Monday. Replacing it is a comic novela entitled 100 Días Para Enamorarnos (100 Days to Fall in Love). The novela tells the story of two good friends, Costanza and Remedios, who are unhappy in their marriages and decide to separate from their respective husbands after almost  20 years of marriage.  Costanza agrees with her husband's suggestion that they take a 100-day break to see how they feel. Apparently Remedios goes along with the suggestion as well.  Once the 100 days are up, they will have to decide whether or not to continue their marriages.  Featured in this comic novela are Ilse Salas, Mariana Treviño, Erick Elias, and David Chocarro. More information, videos, and episodes can be found on Telemundo's website.
Read more »

Labels: , , ,


Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Me Declaro Culpable #52, 4/29/2020 -- "Luke, I am your father."


Okay, it wasn’t quite like in Star Wars, but today Mauro tells Gabe,  “Gabriel, soy tu abuelo”.  But first we must suffer…..  Many scenes have been clumped together because today’s episode was like being the silver ball in a pin ball machine on a Saturday night. During Happy Hour.  My head hurts from all the bouncing back and forth between story lines.  Hopefully I did not leave out anything crucial.  

ALBA
The police are trying to haul Alba to jail while she is screaming (of course) and calling Franco names, chastising him, same-old same-old.     
Later on, there is a near cat-fight in the prison when some of the other inmates are harassing Natalia.  Alba defends her and has one in a very fake-looking choke move.  That’s enough to get Alba taken away to solitary confinement.  THAT cell looks like a dungeon with water running down the walls.  Ew.

Read more »

Labels:


Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Me Declaro Culpable #51, 4/28/20: Meanwhile, Back at the...Other Place Where Everybody's Screaming


The Victims

We open where we closed yesterday, with Alba scuttling around in the middle of the post-traumatic street like a particularly shrill windup toy, but soon enough we find ourselves back at Aqua House for the world's worst soiree. Both women are completely verklempt, but Alba has the marginally cooler date: while Franco burps out empty promises and "tranquilates," Mauro just hulks on the couch like a superannuated garden gnome.

Ding-dong! If you haven't watched yet, be sure to be looking right at Franco when Julieta arrives and Alba announces, "This is the woman my son loves!" High point of the entire season, I promise.

The Perps

Gabe, trussed up and blindfolded on a nasty mattress, is the only resident of Alternate Mexico City to wonder why anyone would want to kidnap him.

Gabe: There must be a mistake! We don't have any money!

Thug 1: No kidding. You're dressed worse than us.

Gabe explains the side-effects of chemotherapy, goes green around the gills and threatens to vomit, causing Thug 1 to run away in a panic. He signed up for kidnapping and false imprisonment, not a yorking teenybopper with a fatal disease. Guess he shoulda read the fine print.
Read more »

Labels:


Monday, April 27, 2020

TELEMUNDO Y MÁS (#1): Cennet, La Doña 2, 100 Días Para Enamorarnos, La Reina del Sur 2 (special edition), y más: Week of April 27, 2020

Welcome to Page #1 (Monday edition) of the Telemundo y Más page, issued twice a week: Mondays and Thursdays at 8:00 PM.

Here are the current evening telenovelas (all times are Eastern Daylight Time):

• 8-9PM—Cennet
• 9-10PM—La Doña 2 (ends Monday)**
• 9-10PM—100 Días Para Enamorarnos (starts Tuesday)**
• 10-11PM—La Reina del Sur 2 (special edition)

**La Dona 2 ends this Monday (4/27). Replacing it starting Tuesday will be a comic novela entitled 100 Días Para Enamorarnos (100 Days to Fall in Love). The novela tells the story of two good friends, Costanza and Remedios, who are unhappy in their marriages and decide to separate from their respective husbands after almost  20 years of marriage.  Costanza agrees with her husband's suggestion that they take a 100-day break to see how they feel. Apparently Remedios goes along with the suggestion as well.  Once the 100 days are up, they will have to decide whether or not to continue their marriages.  Featured in this comic novela are Ilse Salas, Mariana Treviño, Erick Elias, and David Chocarro. More information and videos can be found on Telemundo's website.
Read more »

Labels: , , ,


Me Declaro Culpable #50, 4/27/20: Just About Everybody Has a No Good, Very Bad Day

Well Petite Patio, it hit the fan hot and heavy today.  Lic. Tiziano may still be flying high, but everyone else was brought low. And even though young Gabriel and Julieta got their rocks off, it's fair to assume neither one was very happy by days end.  But let's delay the cascade of calamities and spoon feed the episode to you bit by miserable bit.  Sounds fun, doesn't it?  And if some of you choose to fast-forward through the whole dang thing, well...I've done my best.

Paolo's Really Really Sad Apartment

We begin with our depressing duo: Natalia and Paolo.  She's still waxing poetic about how much she loves him, and he's all minor chords as in "Yeah you changed my life too.  FOR WORSE!  First you broke my body.  And then you broke my heart!"  This earns him a string of perdonames, and when that doesn't fly, she calls the police station, confesses to her crime and turns herself in.  In no time at all, the cops are there, handcuff her and haul her off, while Soggy Paolo cries some more.  All I can think of is--if these two ever get back together again and their kids one day ask "Hey Dad, how did you and Mom ever meet?" Do you suppose they'll get the real story?
Read more »

Labels:


Saturday, April 25, 2020

WEEKEND DISCUSSION 4/25/20: Karmageddon for the guilty in Me Declaro Culpable

It's that time again, amigos!. There is a lot of guilt to go around in this cuna de locos.* Too much to resolve in the last dozen episodes. Not to mention that anything with a title like this will have lots of consequences for its denizens' actions.

As usual, this will be a two-part question:
  1. What fate do you think they deserve?
  2. What do you think the writers will do to these perverse creatures?
Read more »

Labels: , ,


Me Declaro Culpable #49, 4/24/20: It All Starts to Unravel


Subtext: Your dogged Caray reporter sunk her teeth into this episode, but came up with nary a funny bone.
Sub Subtext: Confessions are not good for the soul in telenovelas, especially when there’s no padre, except for weddings with comatose grooms.
Sub Sub Subtext: Thank goodness we’re past the apex of this MDC-Virus and heading for El Por Fin.

Lawyer, Employer, Father-in-Law (To Be or Not To Be, Depending on the Ending)
Paolo has been in Franco’s office since the last episode wanting to know about the latest developments in his  case, as he heard there were some leads. Franco looks uncomfortable. He admits there are some new developments but mumbles an excuse to put it off for a few days yet. He knows he promised Pao to put the guilty one in front of him and he’ll do it. Next Pao wants to know if he can come back to work at the bufete. Franco says anytime, the doors are open. That aside, Pao starts to wax poetic about his love for Nat, etc., etc., while Franco is trying to keep his bowels in check. He tells Franco that he wants to ask for Nat’s hand in marriage. Franco looks at him studiously and starts his own waxing poetic on what a good guy Pao is. Pao is waiting for a but. Franco doesn’t add any. Pao suspects he’s saying it because he feels sorry for him.  Franco says no, never think that. Pao asks him to keep him informed on the case. Franco desperately wants to head for the bathroom a meeting and says he will. Pao then delivers the coup de grâce: next to Natalia, Franco is the one he believes in the most. Franco can’t move.
Read more »

Labels:


Friday, April 24, 2020

Me Declaro Culpable #48, 4/23/20: La Neni comes clean

Oh man, what an underwhelming episode. I could probably recap this episode in like half a paragraph, I might actually do it.

 So in todays episode Natalia finally gathers the courage to come clean and tell Franco that she is the one responsible for Paolo's accident, unfortunately it takes her forever and I day to spill the beans and before she's able to tell her father the unfortunate truth he gets an edited video of Alba and Julian discussing the accident, the video makes it seem like Alba is trying to keep Franco in the dark about what Natalia did, this deeply upsets Franco and he later breaks up with her.
Read more »

Labels:


Thursday, April 23, 2020

TELEMUNDO Y MÁS (#2): Cennet, La Doña 2, La Reina del Sur 2, y más: Week of April 20, 2020

TELEMUNDO WEEKEND EDITION (continuación)

Here's Page 2 for the week.  The current evening telenovelas are as follows (all times are Eastern Daylight Time):
  • 8-9PM -     Cennet
  • 9-10PM -   La Doña 2
  • 10-11PM - La Reina del Sur 2 Special
Everyone is welcome to join in the conversation.   Since discussions of all the Telemundo novelas share the same page, please remember to put the name of the telenovela you're referring to at the top of your post, so readers can easily find the conversations they're looking for.

By common agreement,this group DOES NOT DISCUSS previews, trailers, or any other plot information not found in a current or past episode of the current production.  Spoilers WILL be removed by the admin.  This includes references to earlier productions of the story, and even the original novel.  Thanks for your cooperation!

Labels: , , ,


Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Me Declaro Culpable #47, 4/22/20: "AND THE WHEELS ON THE BUS SPIN ROUND AND ROUND, ROUND AND ROUND ..."


Well DARN,  I had my recrap all written, previewed, and accidentally lost it and some of my brilliant snarky edits.  You've been spared. LOL  😀  And now I have to proof and edit again.   Here is v.2.0 of  today’s “recrap”,  Patio.  Some stuff just isn’t worth the bother to report.   Nothing major happened, so  here we go:

NATALIA

Cara de impactada upon learning that Pao is going home to live with his mom. (hopefully not in the basement)   She wears the most stupid looking dress (even I was choking)  to chase him down at the bus station. No tix left so she buys a ticket to another destination just to get past TSA.  She tries to stop the bus but it takes off without her.  Then she gets into her car and drives next to it, yelling like a fool, for it to stop.  As if the driver could hear her . . . So she pulls her car in front of the bus, forcing it to stop, and she forces her way onto it to ask Paolo for yet(!) another chance.   Natalia lines…. Paolo lines …. then we see the bus finally pull away and both of them are on the street.
Read more »

Labels:


Tuesday, April 21, 2020

Me Declaro Culpable #46, 4/21/20: Everybody's Running, But Nobody's Getting Anywhere

Bride of Frankenstein

Paolo crawls and bawls. Natalia sobs and snivels. Roberta tells Franco if he doesn't do something about Paolo, she'll call the police. He tells her if she doesn't shut up, HE'LL call the police. Julian plays almost-dead. The padre looks everywhere but up.

Franco drags Paolo out into the waiting room and tells him it's very sad, but we can't fix everyone's lives for them. Based on literally everything we know about him, this is clearly a case of "do as I say, not as I do." He finally persuades Paolo to go cry somewhere else.

Roberta marches out of Julian's room and tells Franco everyone is waiting. He says they can wait longer. She tells him the padre has to leave. He says offer him overtime. She promises to take a wedding picture for him and marches back in again.

Franco drags Natalia out into the waiting room and tells her she's a grown woman, then proceeds to treat her like a two-year-old. I guess he's both good cop and bad cop. Apparently it works, because he returns to the room and coolly announces that Nati has left the building.

And Julian still doesn't move a muscle. What if he really is dead? Wouldn't that be funny?
Read more »

Labels:


Monday, April 20, 2020

TELEMUNDO Y MÁS (#1): Cennet, La Doña 2, La Reina del Sur 2 y más: Week of April 20, 2020

Welcome to Page 1 (Monday edition) of the Telemundo y Más page, issued twice a week:  Mondays and Thursdays at 8:00 PM.

Here are the current evening telenovelas (all times are Eastern Daylight Time):
  •     8-9PM -     Cennet
  •     9-10PM -   La Doña 2
  •     10-11PM - La Reina del Sur Special**
**On Tuesday, April 21 Telemundo will begin the special of La Reina del Sur 2 that was previously announced by Kate del Castillo, including scenes not shown when it was first broadcast.

Everyone is welcome to join in the conversation.  Since discussions of all the Telemundo novelas share the same page, please remember to put the name of the telenovela you're referring to at the top of your post so readers can easily find the conversation they're looking for.

By common agreement, this group DOES NOT discuss previews, trailers, or any other plot information not found in a current or past episode of the current production.  Spoilers WILL be removed by the admin.  This includes references to earlier productions of the story, and even the original novel.  Thanks for your cooperation!

Labels: , , ,


Me Declaro Culpable #45, 4/20/20: Another Hot Mess of an Episode

Would you believe, Patio, that I'm beginning to miss the crazy hijinks of Hijas these days?  It's true.  At least we had some beach scenes.  And some muscular fellas in bathing suits.  Now it's Nose-Hair Mauro, Beady-Eyed Julian and Soggy Paolo.  Oh well, moving on...here's what happened today in our storm-tossed, über-dramatic world of suspect lawyers and star-crossed lovers.

In a nutshell, Bertie and Tiz tighten the screws on Papi Mauro.  Ingrid and Julian get busy in his hospital room.  Natalia has a passionate night with Paolo as a way of "saying good-bye". Gael learns he's going to be-- not a dad but a lawyer who helps place his baby for adoption. And Alba finds out Franco is off her case and her son has leukemia.

I'm tempted to leave it right there.  And maybe you are too.  But for those who want more detail, buckle up. And suck it up.  'Cause here we go.
Read more »

Labels:


Friday, April 17, 2020

Me Declaro Culpable #44, 4/17/20: Talking Heads All Day; Nobody Dies, Yet


Today was different from all other days. No action, no deaths, no murders, no suicides, no accidents, no dancing on the terrace, no smoldering kisses. All we got was talking heads. The main topic was a wedding. Will she or won’t she? Natalia’s family and friends take sides. Julián is dying, but instead of rushing to his side, Nat spends the whole day polling the interested parties.

ATTENTION: Me Declaro Culpable Has Officially Jumped the Shark Today.

Here’s where it all starts.

Ingrid and the Semi-corpse
While on hospital watch, Ingy, for some unfathomable reason, pushes the idea of Julián conning Natalia into marriage. She suggests he remain on death watch while she figures out how to bribe the doctors to see it their way. Nat almost catches them plotting or Ingy plotting, that is, when she returns to take her turn in the vigil. She feverishly tries to get a comatose Julián to react. Later Ingy lies and tells Nat that Julián will most probably expire. He told Ingy he loved Nat with all his heart and his dying wish is the same as he had while he lived—to marry her. It’s his dream. She asks Nat to think about it. Nat, seriously, seems to take the information under advisement.
Read more »

Labels:


Me Declaro Culpable #43, 4/16/20: Roberta gets help

Hi Patio Peeps, lets get down to tonight's recap:

Natalia is having flashbacks to the semi nice things that Julian did for her- she forgets the part where he drugged her drink in an attempt to date rape her and in turn caused her to run over Paolo causing him to become paralyzed. Minor details.

Gabriel: I hate recapping his scenes cause he annoys me. Anyways, Gabe is sad because he has leukemia and is angry that Ingrid hid this from him. Does he have leukemia or are his symptoms due to the drugs that Ingrid has been sneaking in his food? If his dad had leukemia then why did he have memory loss as one of his symptoms? Someone explain this to me! I diagnose this telenovela with a case of bad writing. I don't think it will make a full recovery #thoughtsandprayers.
Read more »

Labels:


Newer›  ‹Older

© Caray, Caray! 2006-2022. Duplication of this material for use on any other site is strictly prohibited.

Protected by Copyscape Online Plagiarism Finder