Thursday, March 07, 2013

Por ella soy Eva #161 3/7/13: Who Can Say if I've Been Changed for the Better; Because I Knew You, I Have Been Changed for Good.


Lucia tells Helena that Pluto and Rebeca have been lovers, but Helena is acting like she's in a trance.  She dismisses it saying Plutarco is a man, and it's natural for men to be unfaithful.  Lucia screeches her disbelief.

Juan Carlos, behind prison glass, is upset to hear from Santiago that Helena plans to marry Plutarco, but is ecstatic when he hears that she is carrying a child from JC.  He excuses himself to walk two paces away and do the happy dance. Santi says Pluto want to take Helena out of the country.  JC excuses himself to walk two paces and mope briefly against the wall.  Desperate, JC tells Santiago he has to get out of prison.  Santiago loses all calm as he shouts at JC to calm himself.  JC excuses himself again to roll on the floor saying he wants his mommy.

The business associates of G.I. are scandalized by the video of Pluto and Rebeca in the jacuzzi  reenacting Disney characters in such a perverse manner, and they get up to leave.  Rebeca tries to stop them justifying that they're going to formalize their relationship soon, but the associates are having none of it.  Pluto is furious.  Rebeca tells him that now more than ever they have to marry, but Pluto shouts that he's never going to marry her.  He dismisses Renato, who says he'll be in his office, but Pluto is firing him!  Renato smiles and swoops up a water bottle in that symbolic gesture that Julie explained but whose meaning I've again forgotten.  Rebeca threatens Pluto with giving his fake passports to JC, unless he agrees to marry her.  He tells her she's playing with fire, and he looms in menacingly.  She back peddles, saying that instead of a fancy wedding she'll be happy with a simple one, say, 100 people or so.


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Off-duty bloggers phone home! Porque el amor manda needs two (or more) of you

Hello friends,

I'm behind the beat here because I've been very busy with another project and then the flu. But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! As the anvils are whistling past our ears on Por ella we are assembling a new crew for the Colunga comedy "Porque el amor manda" - Ezra and I are stepping down and Wednesday and Thursday slots are available - unless somebody has already told me they're stepping up and I have spaced it out. Please EMAIL me at caray@mappamundi.com if you're interested in joining the team which will be head up by our redoubtable Cheryl!!

Thanks to all for keeping the ball rolling.

Melinama your blog mom

ps if you are interested in my other ridiculously arcane project, related to telenovelas only by the florid melodrama contained within - see Polish Jewish Cabaret, a blog where I am posting my own (vocal) recordings of Yiddish Theater songs from cabaret and kleynkunst between the world wars in Warsaw Poland. Here are a couple silly little samples - first, a song about poor girls ending up in brothels, set to a soppy old American tune "In the Shade of the Old Apple Tree"



and second, a free download (the rollicking more Jewish sounding 'Yosl Yosl') if you want to be on the mailing list for the project...

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Amor Bravío #140 (Uni 135) Wed 3/6/13 “Vacuna Victory. Today’s Score: Good Guys – 1 Dio - 0 ”


Part 1:  As we begin tonight's capitulo.....


Camila’s Cabana:  Miriam, Vivi and Cam stand in Camila’s bedroom as Camila gives them the good news that Dan is in recovery, his pulse is strong and his fever is gone.  Miriam goes to Dan’s bedside as he wakes up.  Cami steps back and they exchange places.  Dan appears to look at Miriam and yet sees a fuzzy Camila.  He is groggy and asks “What am I doing here love, I love you”.  But who is Dan directing the “te amo” to - Miriam or the Cami mirage?  A disoriented Dan sees Miriam lean closer and hears her respond to him, “Te amo tambien”.  Suddenly, Dan is not quite so disoriented and aware that he narrowly dodged a truth bullet.  Camila explains to Dan that he contracted the virus, and that Miriam has been able to obtain the vaccine to cure him.  Miriam gives praises to Camila as she adds that Camila has bravely been caring for him in the cabana.  Dan wonders how a city girl like Miriam could have gotten her hands on rare bull pneumonia vaccines that no one else in Mexico could (TN medicine Dan).  Miriam explains that she noted the information, sent it to Abe and told him to move heaven and earth to get the vaccine, pronto (while playing the guilt card just a teensy tiny bit).  “Of course”, groans Dan adding that Abe would do anything for Miriam. Miriam replies that Abe knows how much she loves Dan and that she would do anything to save his life.  As Miriam plants a smooch on Dan, Camila and Viv have “awkward!” written on their mask covered faces.

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Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Por ella soy Eva #160 3/6/13: Adriano is Dead, I Think!!! Not Everyone Wants to be a Macho Man

Helena tells her mother that she is pregnant with Juan Carlos’ baby.  Silvia wants to know if se is going to tell Juan Carlos and she doesn’t think that the time is right.  She is not ready to tell Lalo either.  Lalo asks if she s going to forgive Juan??  He knows that she doesn’t like likes but he doesn’t like to see his mother like this.

Helena goes to the hospital and of course Pluti is stalking- oops waiting.  Oh, he hasn’t slept a wink worrying about Adriano.  Pleeeease!!  Helena wants to see Adriano but the nurse tells her that she can go in when his visitor leaves.  The visitor leaves and it’s the investigator.  Pluti looks worried and wants to make sure that in Adriano’s delicate condition he is not worrying about work.  The investigator says that it’s a personal visit because Adriano is a friend.  (I smell an anvil) The investigator has nothing more to do with Grupo Imperio.

Teflon Modesto is with his other kids and he wants to begin the process of changing their last names to his- Caballero.  It’s the least that he can do.  Teflon is acting human for a change and taking time to get involved. 

Helena visits with Adriano who is glad to see her.  He asked the investigator to have her come in.  He urgently wants to see Juan Carlos.  Juan Carlos deceived both of us and he wanted to know how Helena was feeling?  She feels destroyed.  She knew for a while that he was alive but she didn’t think that he would deceive her.  She is hurt, furious and she is deceived.  She didn’t know that he was Eva.  She is pregnant with Juan Carlos’ s baby.  Adriano tells her to be strong because sooner or later it will all work out.

Pluti is singing his-die already song and he hears Helena come behind him and he stops singing.  Jerk!!!!  He asks- how is his brother in law and Helena tells him that he is pretty bad and she didn’t really want to talk to him.  The doctor comes over to them because he needs permission to perform surgery on Adriano immediately.  A test revealed a severe heart problem.  Pluti authorizes the surgery.  It’s a high-risk operation and Adriano may not survive.  Pluti tells Adriano to die calmly because he has been ready for years to take his place.  Jerk!!!  OMG!!! Adriano died.  Poor Mimi, (the Oscar for best actor goes to Pluti) -Pluti blames Santi, Fernando and Juan Carlos for his BIL’s death.   Oh he just can’t bear the pain and gives Helena a bear hug.  (That should have been her clue to run as fast as she can)

Juan Carlos reads about Adriano’s death in jail and blames himself. 
How sad!!!
At the funeral, Pluti can barely contain himself, asshat!!!!  My heart goes went out to Mimi.  She really loves Adriano.  (Something is bothering me.  When the investigator left, why didn’t Adriano ask to see Pluti, he asked to see Helena. )  Oh no, Pluti has to be strong and forge ahead because he is completely alone, and Helena falls for the crap.  (Listen Helena I get it that you are hurt Juan Carlos duped you yet again but honey let’s not forget everything that went on, Pluti has lied to you and to everyone else) With everything that has been going on she has realized that she wrong about him (I guess that was a game when he manhandled you in your office and wouldn’t let you leave) He has always been at her side so she will be there for him.  Forgive her! He has never stopped loving her- seriously??? (I had to rewind this scene because I thought that I had heard wrong.)  This is not the place, so let’s give it some time and discretion is the operative word.  (Do I really smell a plan or is Helena that stupid?? - I want to believe that there is something going on that we don’t know about)  Pluti can’t believe his ears and he is ready to jump for joy- Cachito!- bleeck!
Rebeca arrives to the funeral after its over (for the best supporting actress performance) and she asks Ferni and Santi for Pluti.  She just missed him.

Marsela is looking so sad; it’s been a sad few days at work.  A strange number calls her cell. A gentleman that she met at the convention calls, what does he want??  She smiles.

Modesto reads Adriano’s will and Pluti really looks like Sylvester when he swallowed Tweety bird.  Where is the old lady to slap Tweety out of his mouth??  The stipulation of the will is that Adriano will leave his fortune to a member of his family and the will does not specifically name anyone, so Pluti assumes that it’s him.  Since Eva was a farce and there was no baby, it’s him.  He is inheriting the Reyes family fortune and after he signs the paperwork he will no longer need Modesto’s services.  Modesto said- that the truth will shine sooner or later.  Pluti is wearing a shiny suit, shirt and tie. Yuck!!!

Pluti is sparing Renato and he will give him another chance.  If he fails him he will be a nobody.  He wants Renato to set up a meeting with the Tourism Commission and Renato gives him a look as if to say, I have your nobody- jerk!!!

Rebeca walks in her “Queen of the Jungle” outfit and acts as if she is in charge. (When will her anvil drop, I was hoping that it would have been tonight)  She orders everyone back to work, but she thought that she doesn’t work here says one of the blue dresses.  Rebeca corrects her and says that if they want their jobs get back to work and that she and Pluti, it will be a dictatorship.

Renato is whispering in the hallway to Loose Lips Lucia and Santi, that Pluti can’t get wind of the fact that Mimi is expecting his child, Rebeca is listening- where is security, she should never been allowed to re-enter the building- oh right this is a telenovela.  Santi says that maybe Mimi can go far away until she gives birth.  Of course Rebeca hears that. - until the baby is born.

Pluti has an employee meeting and let’s everyone know that due to the sad circumstances that have taken place, he is the absolute owner of Grupo Imperio.  There will be BIG changes, and Marsela asks will there still be a Department of Convention Tourism. Pluti will evaluate the need.  As for Playa Mayagua, it will move forward but he will make some changes and evaluate the collaboration with Fitsa because it was a big misunderstanding. (I’m still thinking that something is fishy- particularly by the expression on Marsela’s face)  Pluti asks Renato to set up a meeting for the first thing tomorrow with tourism commission and the companies involved with Playa Mayagua. Project.  They will meet the new President and the project can move forward.  Helena asked if she should attend and Pluti told her that she wasn’t needed only the leadership of Grupo Imperio.  (I’m still watching Marsela) He summoned everyone back to work and then fired Santi.  (Dag- just when he was getting back on his feet financially)
Pluti is on Helena’s office asking her for forgiveness at his cold attitude at the employee meeting but he wants to keep up the appearance that there is nothing between the two of them. (Okay, Helena that crap Helena, I am ready to give him the left slap)  Helena is so affected by what has happened that she doesn’t have the strength to confront anything right now.  She feels so lonely; she needs someone’s support.   Pluti tries to kiss her and Helena stops him because Lucia could enter at any time and we have to take this step by step.  He can’t wait to marry hr and take her out of the country and begin a new life, he will have fulfilled one of his biggest dreams.  Helena asks about going out of the country- oh yes says Pluti- away from Juan Carlos, Adriano and Antonia.  We will together, alone, you and I. (I am seriously creeped out by all of this) Lucia interrupts and Pluti tells her that she needs to knock before entering.  Helena looks ill.  Lucia needs clarity as to what is going on between Helena and Pluti.
Rebeca is waiting in Pluti’s office, she’s been waiting for him and Pluti tells her that she is forbidden to enter his office whenever she feels like- so I’m right, there is no security at Grupo Imperio.  She wants to pt an announcement of the wedding in the newspaper but firs she wants to procreate.  She lets him know that Mimi is pregnant with Adriano’s baby.

Helena and Lucia are talking in her office and Helena can’t proceed alone, she needs a good, stable man to help and support her and she thinks its Pluti. Pleeeeeeease!!!!  (Once again, I had to rewind) She will start a new life far away to remove the bad memories. Lucia like all of Viewerville doesn’t get it.  Lucia gets it that Helena has suffered but she will support her as her friend. Helena feels nauseous.  Bingo- Lucia- knows that Helena is pregnant.

Fernando is serving the kids dinner and is trying to influence the kids to convince Marsela that they shouldn’t divorce.  Marsela has received a great job offer in Miami and she wants to speed up the divorce and take the kids.

Santi meets Lucia at a food stand and he is more worried about Juan Carlos than himself.  He is going to see JC tomorrow.  Santi asks what’s up with Helena and Pluti and Lucia says that Helena is sad, crying and crying and she will marry Pluti and her loose lips slip that Helena is expecting Juan Carlos’ child.

Marsela feels that the move would be for the kids especially Jennifer will benefit because she can distance herself from the Daniel scandal.  Fernando goes on his usual macho soapbox saying that she only thinks about her career and being as professional.  Ferni is singing the same old song.  Ferni’s begging for another chance.  He is going to find a way to show her that he can change.

Mad Dad is worried about Helena, she was devastated but she went to work he asks Silvia what’s up?  Silvia doesn’t want to indulge what Helena told her in confidence and Mad Dad plays the “that’s my daughter too card”.  She needs her parent’s support.

Rebeca catty as usual and continues to insult Renato, this time saying what a pair you and your brother pair.  You’re gay and he dresses like a woman He shuts her up by saying that his intuition tells him that she and Pluti had something but did she hear about the rumor that Pluti is getting back with Helena at all costs.  Pluti didn’t invite you to the breakfast meeting with the tourism people?  Beeeach!!!!  From the look on her face- her anvil is on its way!

Marsela tells Helena that there is nothing to save in her marriage and that she loves Fernando but she will move forward.  Mad Dad comes to see Helena at her office.  What a surprise!!!  He wants to know why her friend is crying.  Helena explains that Marsela is a phenomenal woman with a macho man who is irresponsible, doesn’t respect or support her.  Sound familiar, Mad Dad???  Mad Dad shocks us all and tells Helena that he will support her and her baby, and please don’t be mad at Silvia for telling the secret but her parents are there for her.  Helena, like all of us is impactada!!!

Fernando arrives at Kevin’s music class and melancholically watches his son play the harp.   Fernando realizes that he is missing out on something very important.

In the reception area, Mad Dad approaches Marsela and tells she that he knows that she is separated from her husband and would she mind tasking a little advice.  The blue dress is considerate enough to step away from her desk. And allow them to speak privately. From what his daughter has told him he committed some of the same mistakes as her husband.  He was married for more than 30 years to a good woman who like million of men took her for granted because he was a macho man.  But he learned that it takes strong will to lose the machismo, it’s hard. No one teaches us how to be good husbands. - Amen!!!!

Fernando now takes his foot out of his mouth and tells Kevin that he was mistaken, has said a lot of stupid things, didn’t know when to shut up and that he should dedicate himself to do what he loves because it will make him happy.

Mad Dad intention was not to advise her to go back to her husband as if nothing happened but communication, tolerance, patience and love with help a couple.  Sometimes one can change to be a better person but for him it was too late.  Marsela was thankful.  Machismo hurts women and it also destroys men too.  Marsela has food for thought.

Eugenia has another function to perform at and it looks like Claudia is her secretary.  Her monologue was a success!  Claudia is so sorry for sending Eugenia on that false casting trip and she is not sure if she apologized enough.  Eugenia said to leave it in the past and focus on the present.

Oneismo tells Pluti that Mimi’s baby hasn’t hurt anyone.  Pluti has worked too hard to lose everything now.  Some ominous looking men kidnap Mimi.

Pluti is at a board meeting as the new President and he is honored to be in the presence of the dignitaries of the tourism world and Rebeca interrupts the meeting, just in to see the presentation in honor of Adriano and Antonia the pillars of the company, what the company was and what it will always be. Renato plays the video of Pluti and Rebeca.   Pluti is telling Rebeca about Antonia’s health and how they have to be abstinent, and they do the deed. Yesssss!!!! Viewerville is cheering!!!! Anvils are dropping in the boardroom.

Lucia tells Helena that Pluti is not what he seems.  Pluti and Rebeca are lovers.  A forlorn Helena says that there is no proof against Pluti.  Men are unfaithful (Que the heck!!!) and she dismisses what Lucia is trying to tell her.

Santi visits Juan Carlos in jail and tells him that Helena returned to Pluti, they will marry soon AND she is having your baby.





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Amores Verdaderos #82 Wed 3/6/13 Jersey Shore Star Snooki loses 42 lbs post-baby! (At least someone is happy, no?)


They keep vigil over Aníbal, the fallen alpha male: some truly want him to live; some hope he survives just long enough to tell his secrets or to hear and forgive their own sins; still others are already counting his money and imagining just a taste of his power.

 [I took a lot of liberties with the order of events this evening.  It was, alas, another dark night of the soul for steadfast fans of True Love.]

In the hospital
Adriana spews her hatred and frustration but then allows herself to be gentled by her sister, Victoria. 

Arriaga catches sight of Paula and tries to hustle her out before Victoria sees her. Paula shows her claws:  Why is he so anxious to protect Vikki?  He acts more like a lover than a bodyguard. 

Adriana overhears this and is so outraged at the insult to her sister, that she runs at Paula, they scuffle, and Arriaga has to pull them apart.  Paula runs away. But not before she draws blood by taunting Adriana: she KNOWS what happened to her daughter and now she'll never tell.
[Actually Adriana knows as much as Paula at this point.  Only the Patio gang and Opalina know about the call of blood, the transmigration of souls -- you know, all the good stuff that leads to Lili Luci.]
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"Porque El Amor Manda" - TBLMOTP or TBLMOE aka Fernando Colunga is Coming Back...

Buenas noches a todos,  So, it's a long time no hear from.  I have promised Melinama I would post a little synopsis of the new telenovela, "Porque El Amor Manda"  that premieres on Monday, March 11 replacing Por Ella Soy Eva.  I have been away from recapping for so many months, I can't remember when but how could I resist jumping back into the fray with Fernando Colunga to thrill us once again. So here is what Univisión has to say about the new story line:

Fernando Colunga, Blanca Soto to Star in New Univision Soap Opera

MIAMI – The Univision television network on Tuesday announced that its new primetime soap opera “Porque el amor manda,” starring Mexican actors Fernando Colunga and Blanca Soto, will debut on March 11.

The new “telenovela” by Televisa, produced by Juan Osorio, tells a love story focused on a successful female business executive who falls in love with her male secretary, the network said in a communique.

After spending several years trying to make a living in Chicago, Jesus Garcia (Colunga’s character) discovers that he has a daughter with his former girlfriend in Monterrey, Mexico.

Anxious to get to know the little girl, he decides to return to his country, but he falls into a trap linked with a money laundering operation and is arrested.

With a criminal record and no income, Jesus undertakes the difficult task of finding work and learns that a top executive, Alma Montemayor (Soto) is looking for a secretary, he begins to work for her and their romantic involvement commences. EFE

Otherwise, I am swamped with getting the third of five photo exhibits that I will prepare between January and May.  I just returned from two months in Mexico in the states of Oaxaca and Chiapas and really just returned from my 4th photo trip to Costa Rica so my Spanish is streetwise but not necessarily  perfect by academic standards.  But who cares?

I will try to dig up some character synopses before Monday but if anyone already has them, feel free to add them to the Caray Caray blog site.  I hope to have much fun and many snarkful moments with old friends and new. ¡Vamos al lunes, muchachos!   Abrazos de Cheryl NewMex

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Amor Bravío #139 (Uni 134) Tue 3/5/13 La Malquerida is spared while Hissadora takes one giant step toward the Anvil.



Buenaventura
Mariano continues his efforts to warn his father against the evil vamp known to us a Hissadora.  Cayetansordo refuses to heed his sons warning.  He can’t believe his loverly Hissie would be capable of such an atrocious (atroz) act as murdering a priest!  Mariano isn’t ready to accuse her of murder but he thinks she’s hiding something.  Now he lays it on him that Refugio saw Dionicio visiting Hissadora while she was staying in Metepec.  Cayetansordo is aghast!  His Hisse has no dealings with Agustina’s husband.  How would that be possible when all the Monterdes hate her?  Mariano feels Refugio would have no reason to lie.  He only asks that his father open his eyes and take precautions.  Cayetansiego thinks its simply a case of mistaken identity by Refugio.  She’s an old woman and no longer sees well (uh, pot calling kettle…..).  Mariano is frustrated and suggests that possibly it’s Cayetansiego who refuses to see.  Caretantarugo: “ Hissadora is now my wife and as such I respect her and support her.  I can’t judge her.  Even the authorities haven’t found her responsible yet, and you should do the same!”  Mariano urges him to be careful and revoke the control her gave her over the property.  That did it, Cayetansiego is outraged and slams his hand on the desk, “Basta!  Hissadora is an honest woman!  She’s given me some incredible moments (oof!).  As soon as she’s out of the pokey, she’ll live here.  So you need to think about whether or not you want to continue to live under the same roof as her.  From this day forward she is the dueña and Señora of this house.”  Mariano stares him square in the face and tells him, “Fine, don’t worry about it.  By the time she arrives, Ana and I will have moved out!”  He leaves. So, let’s see, Pablo’s already out, Yago’s just about out, so now he’s Cayetansolo

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Porque El Amor Manda-Index

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Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Amores Verdaderos #81 Tue 3/5/13 You're So Pretty When You Cry, and other nonsense

Amores Verdaderos Cap 81 - 3/5/13—You're So Pretty When You Cry, and other nonsense

(I can't believe Leo actually said that!)

A quick recap, which may or may not be fleshed out later with more screencaps. My video capture is processing and will take a long time to finish. In the meantime, here is an overview with preview screencap:

Nikki can't take the stress anymore!

OVERVIEW OF EVENTS MAY NOT BE LISTED IN ORDER: (I'm just typing from memory)

* Leo is completely off the rails crazy. Bea's still being kept hostage in the car mechanic's garage. He has gagged Beatriz with duct tape. When he removes the tape (harshly—she cries in pain) and she tries to cry for help, it's back to duct tape for her. Tears stream down her face and onto the duct tape. Poor Beatriz!

* Roy the Boy is feigning love for Nikki while hitting on some chicks at the tennis court. Viewerville is given many, many hints that this guy is no good.

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Por ella soy Eva #159 3/5/13: KaBOOM

hehe, Juan runs from the altar in his dress, with Pluto racing after to catch him. But Santi and Fern are finally useful, holding him back. Onesimo is busy eating tacos so JC gets off free as Adri collapses in heart attack.

Juan grabs some random unconscious guy.

Eugenia tells Modesto that now isn't the time to turn his back on his son.

As Helena steams, Plutigloats in her ear.s

De-moussed mousse boy invites Modesto to stay at his place, at least as long as this unpleasantness lasts.

Enter JC, dressed as doctor, to speak to the comatose Adriano. I don't know if it makes sense, but everything i did I did for love. But I don't see how that would actually make things any better.

But it works - when he mentions mimi and the real baby, he opens his eyes. Get out of this place! You better take advantage of the chance to escape, because when I get outta here I won't rest till you're in jail.

At home, Helena weeps.

Renato has a hug and a patching-up with his Dad. Both apologize.
. . .Cerberez here, filling in for Melinama. . .

Today we get an awful lot of people standing around gasping, wondering how this could ever have happened. I don't begrudge them that.


We'll start this off with Mad Dad. He still looks pretty grumpy, but he gives his daughter a sweet hug and an apology and refrains from telling her "I told you so."

Here comes Pluto (in, at last, a shiny tux) and he wants a word with Helena...Does he really think he can get her back? Anyway, you can practically see the canary feathers stuck between his teeth. He comes to shove his stolen goodbye letters in her face and Rub it in some more.

Meanwhile, JC calls. Helena ignores it, but picks it up when Pluto leaves. JC begs and begs and begs for a chance to explain, and she says he's dead to her.

Renato consoles a weeping Mimi, who seems to buck up a bit with a "vida de color rosa" speech.

Helena heads out for a midnight walk through a scenic parking lot. Pluto tails her as she goes to meet Juan, who tells her for the zillionth time that he did everything for love. It's a pretty thin excuse. She lays into him pretty satisfyingly. It's an impressive anvil, and he certainly deserves it! He keeps begging for a chance to explain, but he really has nothing more than "I did it because I love you." Fortunately, the cops come to lock him up, and we don't have to listen to any more of this. Pluto comes rushing to the scene to get his boy-scout badge, but she wonders what gave him the right to follow her. He honestly thought he was at least gonna get a hug. What a chump!

Mimi gets her obligatory weeping-over-the-patient hospital scene. Come back for my baby! I mean, your baby! The nurse drags her out and his eyes open a bit.

Uh-oh, it looks like Mimi isn't going to be able to go back to her place after Juan's been arrested. I think the cops are there. She'll stay w/ Lucia for the time being.

At the jail, we realize that JC is also officially being charged with homicide. I notice that, while many other characters have changed clothes, Pluti is still in his shiny tux. Now he shares some congratulatory glass of champagne with Onesimo. But that quickly sours. He sends Onesimo out, though, so he can swill more champagne of self-congratulation in private.

He wakes up a total mess, but Rebe busts in wearing a rattlesnake-pattern dress. She wants some smooches with her husband-to-be. She wants an heir, a plutarquito. He's really too drunk to mount any kind of defense.

Juan paces his cell as Helena paces her room. There is a sappy song sung by Juan's actor.

Mimi - I want to go be with Adri... "ando con jesus en la boca." what does that mean?

The good guys discuss plans. Renato has a video of Pluto and Rebe during his marriage to Antonia. Santi looks hilarious. he's shocked - "but I thought he LOVED Antonia." I thought everyone knew.

Wow, what a typical twist - Helena is pregnant.Whoop-dee-doo!
...
Have fun with the rest of the show!


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Monday, March 04, 2013

Amor Bravío #138 (Uni 133) Mon 3/4/13




Capitulo 138: Buenas Noticias y Recuerdos Malditos

Lo del pasado

El Diablo wonders why not all the bulls are dead yet as Omar.  As Hissadora looks at her sleeping husband she thinks about making sure she maintains control of La Buenaventura; Leoncerdo communicates to Aaron that Hissadora cut out his tongue.  Camila explains to Vivi that Miriam loves Daniel, then immediately rushes in to perform CPR on him.

Lo de nuevo:

Miriam's House:   Mariano fusses over Baby Agatha, recalling Ana as a baby. A few stereotypically parental comments later Miriam's phone rings and it's Gaston telling her that the vaccine has been found and will be delivered via private plane. Abe has taken care of all the bills and Gaston will deliver it personally first thing in the morning. Miriam asks and Mariano agrees to drive her to the airport.
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Amores Verdaderos #80 Mon 3/4/13 Hey Super-Superman, Just Connect the Dots Already, Captas?

* Lo refrito: At the Balvaneras Aníbal grabs Pau-Whiner’s arm and asks her in his adorable in-your-face-style: Qué haces aquí?! (What are you doing here?!) Lo nuevo: Paula informs His Majesty that she’s Nikki’s piano teacher. In the meantime upstairs Neta Equis is doing her usual bratty stuff to Polita.

* In the kitchen Angel, Lili, Tomasina and Jean Marie are talking about Cristina: Little Orchid says she was very mad at her when she told him that she was going to visit the countryside with her dad and the Balvanera sisters. Arriaga thinks that Cris’s right about Adriana: she’s adorable, but when she and Liliana are together, something weird always happens. Adriana, who overheard the conversation, enters the room and greets them.
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Por ella soy Eva #158 3/4/12: CAT. OUT. OF. BAG.

Okay. . . so Juan realizes that Pluto used his name to set up the fraud.

Pluto is surprised to find Rebe in her slutty red-riding-hood suit and a bedroom full of flowers. She teases him about his impotence when he manages to decline. She manages to goad him into it, though! Could we score ANOTHER false pregnancy in this show?

But in the morning Pluti gets a visit from the ghost of Antonia - a nice touch.

Renato to Adri - I just don't know if this is the time for reconciliation w/ me and dad. It looks like his use of the mousse is decreasing as his self-confidence grows.

Pluto lurks in his car to see Helena pay a visit to Eva. Helena complements Eva on her "prizification," premificacion.

WOMAN OF THE YEAR

A reluctant Eva has to get shoved out onto the stage. She thanks them all for the world of help that they have all given her. "You're not giving this reward to a woman," she announces [scary music, santi and ferni gasp]. . . "but to all the women of Mexico." You've all changed my life, I am a better person for having all of you. She talks of the saintly Antonia and starts winding up to a song, but everyone in the wings says NO SINGING. She works in a little wink to Helena's mom when she says women don't need men to be happy. She has really sweet things to say about all her friends in the audience, and barely recovers from another slip, calling Eugenia "ma-" [everyone who knows the truth gasps] "-magnifica actriz". . . good one!


She is quite sweet to them all, and starts winding up for an announcement - she has to tell them all something very important: "No soy una mujer" [GAAH everyone who knows freaks out and we get some big juicy "drama" music]. . . "uhhh. . . no soy una mujer valiente."
Fernie echoes my sentiments with a hand signal reminding Juan to cut it short, and surprisingly manages to do it.

Afterwards Renato sidles up to Eva with a disc of accounting (presumably proof of Pluto's guilt?)




Meanwhile, Pluto has broken into Eva's room. He finds wigs, and much more juicily, a spare set of boobies. He keeps going and finds a conveniently placed set of photos that lead him to the truth - Eva is Juan Carlos! But it gets juicier - he finds a pair of letters addressed to Adri and Helena - they must be a confession for after the planned disappearance of Eva. He makes his shark smile.

Juan sets up a meeting with Helena and starts to say goodbye and thanks to Eva. You've helped me, my dear, and taught me, and I'll miss you so much. Then he cackles with glee and dances when he finally gets those stockings off for the last time! Lord, he sure looks weird dancing in his undies and his boobies!

Next thing we know, Pluto joins Adri, who's waiting for Eva. Pluto jokes about Eva disappearing and leaving him at the altar, and jokingly lends him a gun.

Juan romantically makes out with Eva in his plaid boxer shorts. They have a great night, and then, in bed, she goes on and on about how she trusts him now and knows he'd never, ever mislead her. Viewerville is acutely aware of the whistling noise of the plummeting foreshadowing.

The next morning, in his bed at Mimi's, Juan is delighted to wake up and not have to dress as a lady again, but Mimi brings emergency news! Lucia and Helena and Lalito are here to help her get dressed and rush her to the church. ZOMG! At the primping party, things begin to look grim for her prospects of escape, with ladies all around. The wedding dress is a quite impressive display of foofery. Eva flips and screams, overwhelmed, but the ladies drag her along. She keeps trying to run away! Eugenia, on the phone: "COMO QUE SE VA A CASAR..." With all of them plus Lalo shoving, they finally manage to wedge her in the car. She tries to escape again, but it's too late! They're at the church!

Pluto is in a tux that isn't shiny - I'm a little disappointed.

As the pressure rises, Juan's face begins to spasm! Helena puts the veil on, and a quivering Eva begins to trundle down the carpet as slowly as she can manage, dragging an absurdly long train! Adri gets tired of waiting and he heads out to drag her in! OMG this incredible! Fortunately, mom to the rescue! Mimi brings her in at the last minute! But no, no rescue, they just bought her a little time. Now, as the priest asks if anyone has an objection, her phone rings! She pulls it out of the front of her dress to find out about the failure of the safe-snatching plan! Adri interrupts- DO IT, FATHER! Eugenia loos sick, but not as sick as Eva. The priest actually looks like Modesto. Priest: will you take this man - Eva: that's a tricky question, etc. . . stalls for a few minutes. Pluto smirks. Finally, when it comes down to it, she/he takes off the wig/makeup and

EEEEVVERYONE FREAKS OUT!

That's it!

Note - Friday is the last day (it'll be a two hour show). How can Helena possibly forgive Juan by then? I mean, in any way that's remotely satisfying for viewerville. My only theory at this point is that she'll move away in anger and we'll get a "months later..." for Juan's final apology, but even that sounds a little hollow.


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Saturday, March 02, 2013

Amores Verdaderos #79 Fri 3/1/13 True Love Diaries and If Lovin' You Is Wrong I Don't Wanna Be Right

Good Evening Ladies and Gentleman, we have another letter from the writers of this TN.

Dear Patio Peeps,

Yeah, we've had too much Baileys. We thought we would drop you a line to say howdy. See we told you we would incorporate some more comedy in this TN. There will be more coming, you can count on it. We also got a letter from PETA, complaining of our shabby treatment of Balzac, you know letting him run all over the D.F. in the storyline. We assured them that Balzac is safe and sound. Not a spoiler, but we wouldn't mistreat a dog. We also want to give a shout out to NovelaMaven who got that letter from Kendritta. Needless to say, we gave her a dressing down for sending you that letter, and told her in future, she must show us the letter before she sends anymore. We like your Patio and want to keep it Kendho free. We have heard some chisme that FF and Anyballs are up in arms about no table for them either. Don't be surprised if you receive a letter from them. Just a heads up. Now we have to get back to writing more of this TN but just wanted to drop our Patio Peeps a line to let them know we are enjoying the Patio and also that store you now have set up. We'll keep in touch.

Sincerely,

The Writers

We start this epi with Guzmi and Felipe talking about the gambling, Ms Vikki and the Angel talking about how her "reconciliation" with FF is just for show, not hanky panky, it's just for Nikki's benefit. And then Nikki and Roy and how many championships he's won with the tennis and now he's done. And how Nikki is gonna be his future wife. He tells Ms Vikki this and she is shocked, I tell you shocked! She personally, to herself, doesn't think Nikki is ready for this. So Roy explains he means not tomorrow of course, but they are gettin married and besides adds Nikki that they have known each other a long time, were a couple before and that the families have known each other foreva! We'll get back to them.
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Amor Bravío #137 (Uni 132) Fri 3/1/13 More Curation Frenzy and Frustration As Dio The Bull Butcherer’s Bombast Bungles The Play



capítulo 137

There has been nothing quite as horrendous or as devastating for Camila and Crew (let alone Viewerville) as the sight of motionless mounds of beautiful black bull beasties’ bodies scattered throughout the pastures of La Malquerida, dead as Dionisio’s coffin door nails, except for Daniel’s incapacitated and unconscious body now lying in Cam’s bed in the cabana.
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Por ella soy Eva #157 3/1/13: Sugar, I'm Going Down Swinging, If I Can't Have You, I Don't Want No Body Baby

 

I'm going down, down in an earlier round:

So Pluti is meeting with the henchies and finds out that Helena was indeed with JC in Acapulco, cause the guy swears on his Motha, well, maybe not that, but you get the drift, it is so true she was with this guy in the pic, doncha know, so now Pluti is in denial, ya know that river in Egypt, can't be that infeliz is so dead. But on second thought, Pluti is gonna make good and sure that JC is really dead, but the henchie tells him he can't follow Helena or JC cause they know who he is. So Pluti decides to take the task on himself. He is gonna find the proof of JC being alive or dead. Just watch him.


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Friday, March 01, 2013

Telemundo y más: week of March 4, 2013


Telemundo's 10pm/9c show, El rostro de la venganza, is slogging towards its gory finish line.  The date of the final episode hasn't been announced nor has Telemundo named its replacement.  Will El señor de los cielos be ready to fill the slot?  The promos boast that the new novela is coming muy pronto.

UniMás has announced that its 9pm/8c Colombian drama, Made in Cartagena, is also coming to a close.   Again, we have no date for a final episode.  Anyone know what will replace it?  

A gentle reminder: NO SPOILERS please.  If something hasn't actually happened in an episode, we don't talk about it here. 

Enjoy your page and your week!

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Weekend Discussion: Is it always necessary to have a Felices Para Siempre?




In my almost two decades of watching telenovelas I can only recall one that had a tragic ending. I think it was technically a mini-series because it had only 45 episodes (or it was originally shown in 90 half-hours; couldn't find the info) but I haven't seen another since then. It was 1989's Angeles Blancos and it ended with the death of the male protagonist. It aired here in daytime in early 1994 and I was shocked despite my relative inexperience with telenovelas.

I've seen bittersweet endings since then, such as La Esposa Virgen, Ramona, El Cuerpo del Deseo, and Aurora. Even La Que No Podia Amar didn't have a full FPS, as Rogelio didn't get out of the wheelchair. Ramona couldn't end differently because of how the original novel ended, La Esposa Virgen was given a surprise ending allegedly based on audience feedback during production, Aurora was so badly tampered with for reasons I can only speculate on. These three productions flew in the face of what most viewers expect from novelas.

Globo-TV, the Brazilian network that produced the original El Clon, doesn't follow Mexican novela rules. Their series are straight dramas which don't usually have designated villains, their protagonists are frequently flawed in ways that Mexican ones are not (e.g., Lucas of El Clon was a wimp), and they can have sad endings. Fans of Globo-TV's productions don't know what to expect when they get a new series that is an original story.

Would you prefer that to the fairy-tale endings typically provided by Televisa? Would you prefer the characters to be more ambiguous? Would you want to see the villains win once in a while?

Weigh in, amigos.

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Amor Bravío #136 (Uni 131) Thu 2/28/13 Amor Infectado


Daniel says Camila can't ask him to leave her alone now when she needs help with the bulls.  He's not happy when she reminds him she's got plenty of help--including Mariano.  She asks him to leave because it's becoming a torment.  "Oh, so I'm a torment to you!"  Dude, that's not what she said. He's grumpy because he's suffering too with all the marital nookie he's being forced to have so his wife pops her cork instead of, well, permanently popping her cork. Camila says she'll be ok on her own and it's best if they end it.  Daniel remembers Miriam saying she doesn't want him halfway. Daniel agrees to leave and never see Camila again.  Not that he won't pout about it.  Camila cries as he walks away.

Piedad is working on a pozole.  Maybe it'll cheer the bosses up to have some good food.  She talks to Dorotea about the ingredients she uses. 


The health inspectors are responding to Dio's anonymous report.  The ranch could end up being quarantined.  The inspectors say there's no way to get the vaccine from out of the country without a lot of red tape.  Which they're fine to get going, but they want to confirm that it's the cabrex virus after all.



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Por ella soy Eva #156 2/28/13: I've Given Up the Truth to Those I've Tried to Please, But Now It's My Turn...



And if living for myself is what I'm guilty of, go on and sentence me.  I'll still be free.

In a meeting between Adriano, Pluto, and Eva, Adri tells Pluto that he has demonstrated he can't handle the presidency.  Pluto starts to object, but Adri tells him that after the honeymoon things are going to change around here.  Eva smiles to herself and claps silently.  Pluto is pissed.

Eugenia is talking to Claudia about all her grand plans for the play she will be producing.  Modesto comes in, attempting to rain on her parade once again.  Eugenia puts him in his place, and tells him it's obvious their marriage died many years ago.  Modesto asks about a pile of suitcases on the floor.  Eugenia tells him they are his and she wants him to leave the house.  Modesto objects, saying the house is also his, but Eugenia reminds him that he is a gentleman and asks him to do the gentlemanly thing.  Modesto acquiesces, asking Claudia to come with him, but she moves to Eugenia's side and says that she is staying with Eugenia.  Modesto looks old and confused.  Eugenia and Claudia embrace after he leaves.

The years have seen my life through someone else's eyes, but now it's my turn.


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Thursday, February 28, 2013

Amores Verdaderos #78 Thu 2/28/13 Big bodyguards with big broken hearts and tied hands... sigh...

Have to do a quick one, have a commitment for early tomorrow until mid afternoon... so here we go...

refrito ... the UGLY BAD CHOICE reconciliation of Vicky and Nil-so-boneless-Jerk..
Angel swallows pride and holds his dinner in watching the scene... Nil-SBJ acts nasty to Angel with Hugs
Vicky thinks she is in control... Nil-SBJ thinks otherwise...

Lo Nuevo:

Catwoman KenDrat very angry at Dances since he won't answer phone calls... She drinks her frustrations off.  She nags talking to herself a lot, even refers to Vicky as old-hag-cellulite-prone wife of Nil-SBJ's

Nil-SBJ says to himself KenDrat will stay lonely and dry tonight, there are priorities. But he thinks she is the best lover... because she 'understands'.

Niki and Viki have a close chat... Niki needs Viki... Viky gives her the good news Nil-SBJ's stuff is going back to THEIR bedroom... Niki relieved.

Leo and his drinking buddy... Leo has a plan for getting Bea to be back. And his buddy is included in plan.

Dances and Nil-SBJ... Nil-SBJ thinks he is in control. Dances fakes ignorance. Nil-SBJ is visibly getting wasted. and sends dances away to go out with his car...   'tonight is for..... celebrating'

Viki tells Tomasina about the 'fake reconciliation'.  Viki mad at Nil-SBJ for bragging to ANgel about the 'recon'.   Tomas asks Viki if worried about ANgel mad about the 'recon'. Viki says (but we know otherwise) that what she is worried about is he will think she is one to give in easily.

Niki's old boyfriend arrives... (Roy)... typical young Nil-SBJ if you ask me.  Hypocrisy at its best.
He is gladly surprised at Niki's beauty. 

Niki and Roy go outside... He asks TOmasina for champagne and smoked salmon even though Niki's idea was just some cold drinks.

Gorilita is totally oblivious to this, taking a shower and remembering Niki's loving words and kisses... 'Niki loves me!!... tonight i will invite her out to formally declare my love to her'..

Outside, Roy is showering niki with flattery... (i think she is thin and flat enough, don't you? the last thing someone with low self-esteem needs is all this trashy talk)  But Niki shows some backbone throwing at Roy's face how he dropped her like a used sock way back when.  He says that was then, this is now... (kisses her, she makes believe it is Gorilita for a moment, but pulls back before they actually kiss)

Estefano is ordering a newspaper notice about his lost puppy (awwwwwwwwwwwww... Balsac? LOL)

Jean Marie and Polita busy cooking... Gorilita comes in, handsomer and smiling wider than normal, they notice.  They ask for the reason, he says you will soon find out.

Tomasina sends Angel with Hugs to Anibal's room. She tells Gorilita that Niki is out in garden.

Dances and Bea/Guillo arrive at his godmother's house. Her name is Imperia. and she is good at puppet-ing. She makes Guillo laugh and talk to the teddy bear... cute scene. Imperia very nice to Bea and Guillo.

Anibal, in his usual business-like emotion-less tone, thanks Angel for his support for Vicky, but if you still have a job, it is thanks to me (ya salio el peine!)... remember i defended you when Nil-son tried to get rid of you. So now i will ask you for a favor... very small. I want you to spy for me with Vicky and Adriana's meetings. Angel calls it by face value and says 'you want me to spy on them.... and if my job depends on that, i would rather leave.'.
Nil-SDF, totally wasted, makes it in Viky's bedroom. He tries to get her to drink with him. When she refuses, he keeps acting silly, then tries to force himself on her.

Anibal insists, trying to dress it up differently, making it sound like he is looking after Vicky's 'health'.  When Angel leaves, Anibal says 'that guy is stronger/harder than i thought'
Out in hallway, Angel wonders what kind of jerk Anibal is... then he hears what is going on in bedroom... and is tortured in his feelings between tearing down the door and defending Vicky and not doing anything.

Niki and Roy... Niki still in disbelief Roy wants to start over where they had left it.  He approaches for a kiss, Viki is about to kiss him, and sees Gorilita watching them, so she actually puts the words in Roy's mouth saying 'are you proposing?'... Roy answers 'that is it!.'. THey kiss, she makes it obvious to hurt Gorilita.

Nil-SDF keeps trying to force himself on Viki... ANgel biting his lips (if he has any left) outside the door but resists the urge to run in. Viki shouts demanding respect. Nil-SDF demands his marital rights (is he going to 'RESPOND' this time?  now that he is wasted... i think ... NOT!).

Back in backyard... Gorilita walks up to them... Niki keeps faking being happy about a proposal. She tells Roy he is her bodyguard. SHe tells Gorilita you can go now, now i have someone to protect me. Gorilita leaves in a miff.  Niki tells Roy she detests Gorilita.  Roy acts again like a young Nil-Son, bratty rich boy.
Once Gorilita is gone, Niki is back to being honest and says she is not interested in getting back with him. But he insists and she makes a small smile smirk.

Inside Viki's room, she keeps demanding he act like a true man and leave.   As he insists in forcing himself on her, Angel knocks on the door... Nil-SDF and Viki freeze even stop breathing for a sec.  Viki tells Angel she is fine. HE says i will be closeby if you need anything. She thanks him.... This has given Nil-SDF time to reflect so he appologizes.   She just cryes quietly... he leaves.

At Imperia's Guillo is having a good time. She can even teach him to build puppets. He gets excited.  Guillo is excited to have Dances and Imperia go watch him play futbol early next morning. Bea already asked permission to come in to work a bit late.  Nice scene, these folks could easily build a very nice family.
(LOL IMperia tells Bea she has always told Dances to have at least 4 kids so she can be their nanny).
Dances very thankful to Imperia. Bea very thankful to Dances. Dances very happy 'to be with the woman i adore'.

Gorilita is miffed, packing in his room, but Tomasina runs a beat up Felipe to Gorilita's room. Gorilita's jaw drops to floor... Felipe is really beat up. .. .later, as Gorilita is doing first aid, asks who did it... who else? el Turco!... Felipe says it was an impulse he could not control, thought luck was with him that night....  Felipe tells Gorilita that he played thinking he was doing something good for Bea and Guillo. Gorilita gets madder, how can you do anything for them if you can't handle yourself? ...before you recite me the same old story,  how much was it this time?  ...  a bit more... $200K pesos.  Gorilita is irate now. Felipe says this is just a sign of what they will do to me if i don't pay them tomorrow.  ... I deserve for them to kill me... (YOU SAID IT MAN!! SO GO TAKE YOURSELF AND ALL YOUR CHILDREN OUT OF THEIR MISERY!!)
Later he says maybe if i give Turco the deed of the apartment... Gorilita does not agree at all.

Back outside Viki's room... Angel does not hear anything else, thinks maybe Nil-Son has given up.  Anibal asks him why he is there. And asks him if he thought about his request. Angel says Viki is old enough to decide what hurts her or not.  Viki comes out of her room. She thanks Angel for his help.  Anibal asks her if something happened, Viki says as usual, Angel was nearby when she needed him. And gives the good news to Anibal that they 'reconciled'.  (liar liar...) Viki leaves, wants Angel to go with her.

Angel tells Viki about Anibal talking to him and when he came out, he heard what was going on in her room. He wanted to come in but resisted... the important thing is that you are alright. he might be your husband but he does not have the right to...    Viki tells him that Nil-Son and her took Niki to the doctor today. She is suffering an eating disorder. Angel agrees with her that the most important thing is our children's health. Viki clears to ANgel that the 'recon' with NilSon is fake, there won't ever be anything between them ever again.
Angel says it must be hard for her to fake what is not true. Viki says we have agreed that you would do anything for your kids.   Angel mentions that Nil-Son 'bragged' to his face that she and him... that she and him...    anyway you are a great mother... look at all you do for your daughter.  Viki not so sure. She is just a mother... so many women continue a fake marriage for the sake of the children's happiness... ANgel understands her perfectly. Our children give meaning to our lives.

In living room now, Roy keeps bragging about his 'grand slam' achievements.  Then he comes up with the crap that he should have quit earlier, because he had to come back to recover her...
Viki comes out and is happy to see them together and happy... Asks Niki for Gorilita.  Niki says Gorilita went to bed, was not feeling well.  Roy is happy Viky hired a bodyguard for 'his future wife'... Viki surprised, Niki visibly uncomfortable but smirks a smile to Viki.

Previews:
ANgel reads Viki's writings 'she felt like that man made her shiver... too bad the man was her bodyguard...' (and realizes that writing is about him).












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Amor Bravío #135 (Uni 130) Wed 2/27/13 “Clashes and Contagions – And Did They or Didn’t They?”


Part One:

Courtyard of La MQ:  Dante is guy-lecturing Dan about neglecting his family responsibilities.  Hangdog face Dan listens and soberly agrees. Rodolfo breaks up the man-lecture to ask if Dan is going to join the gang inside the house.  Dan tells Rodolfo to explain to everyone he has to excuse himself  from the powwow this time because his baby is sick at home and that is where he needs to be.

Center for Disease Control at La MQ:   All hands are on deck in El Rancho living room this evening.  Rodolfo comes in to report to Camila that Dan had to go home to be with his sick baby.  Everyone else is gathered together discussing a plan for the growing and now out of control epidemic.  Camila gets the results of the blood analysis – it is an outbreak (brote) of the Cabrex virus!  This virulent virus can wipe out the ranch in a very short time she reports.  Camila says there is no time to lose. Dio offers his services to his secret fantasy girl, um, to Camila to go pick up any vaccines that they locate.  Camila considers that they should ask the pharmacies but Mariano reminds her that the pharmacies are now closed for the day.  Pablo, being more generation X (or whatever his generation is labelled right now) suggests he will look on the internet.  Camila instructs everyone to be super-careful because the virus is muy, pero muy contagious.  Agustina clutches her pearls in fear but Camila allays her worries by informing her that the virus is only contagious through direct contact with the animals, so Agustina has nothing to worry about (except for the dog she is married to). Mariano says the herd will still need to be quarantined for around 45 more days.  Camila understands this, but is still set on saving the ranch.

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Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Amores Verdaderos #77 Wed 2/27/13 Who Let the Dog Out?


Tonight, we hear from another troubled character:

Dear NovelaMaven:

It ain't easy being mean.  It's been a long road and I've had to kiss a lot of frogs along the way.  So no one -- not your precious Guzmancito, not your darling Dances with Dippity-Do, not your Soon-to-be-Fallen Angel, and not your hoity-toity Miss Vikki -- is going to stand between me and the Balvanera billions.   Nevertheless, I am concerned by my extremely low Q score.  It appears I am not well-liked by the estúpidos who watch the show.  So don't just sit there using up oxygen, Maven.  Do something.   Persuade the cretins who call themselves writers to show me in a more sympathetic light.  I'm sure that after a little tweaking of the dialogue, those imbéciles will set up a table for me.  I am so VERY tired of getting dissed on the Patio every night.  

Love,
Kendrita

Dear Miss Ferretti:

I regret to inform you that it would take more than some editorial tweaking to make you likeable.  You are what we call a harpy.  A hag.  A harlot.  Or in terms you might understand -- a ho.  Let me give you a little advice -- The prize pig in the Balvanera sty is the old guy.  Forget the awful Eff-ful Nelson.  Aníbal has all the money.  It's HIS company.  It's HIS mansion.  HIS wife is dead.  And after twenty years with PaulaToo, he is primed to appreciate your very special ASSETS.  Best of all, you might even outlive him (if one of the many people you have double-crossed doesn't get to you first.)  Marry him!  Spend your honeymoon on some remote island, just the three of you -- Aníbal, your personal assistant, Cristine, and you.  And don't forget to take along a little light reading:  How about "No Exit"?

Besitos,
NovelaMaven

P.S.  No table for you, Kendrita!  ¿Captas?  Or do I have to explain it with apples?

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