Caray, Caray!

TELEMUNDO WEEKEND EDITION (continuación)

Here's Page 2 for the week.  The current evening telenovelas are as follows (all times are Eastern Daylight Time):

• 8-9PM—Mi familia perfecta
• 9-10PM—Al otro lado del muro
• 10-11PM—Enemigo íntimo

Everyone is welcome to join in the conversation.  Since discussions of all the Telemundo novelas share the same page, please remember to put the name of the telenovela you're referring to at the top of your post, so readers can easily find the conversations they're looking for.

By common agreement, this group DOES NOT discuss previews, trailers, or any other plot information not found in a current or past episode of the current production. Spoilers WILL be removed by the admin. This includes reference to earlier productions of the story, and even the original novel. Thanks for your cooperation!

Labels: enemigo, familia, lado, telemundo

Welcome to Page #1 (Monday edition) of the Telemundo y Más page, issued twice a week: Mondays and Thursdays at 8:00 PM.

Here are the current evening telenovelas (all times are Eastern Daylight Time):

• 8-9PM—Mi familia perfecta
• 9-10PM—Al otro lado del muro
• 10-11PM—Enemigo íntimo

Everyone is welcome to join in the conversation.  Since discussions of all the Telemundo novelas share the same page, please remember to put the name of the telenovela you're referring to at the top of your post, so readers can easily find the conversations they're looking for.

By common agreement, this group DOES NOT discuss previews, trailers, or any other plot information not found in a current or past episode of the current production. Spoilers WILL be removed by the admin. This includes reference to earlier productions of the story, and even the original novel. Thanks for your cooperation!

Labels: enemigo, familia, lado, telemundo

TELEMUNDO WEEKEND EDITION (continuación)

Here's Page 2 for the week.  The current telenovelas are as follows (all times are Eastern Daylight Time):

• 8-9PM—Mi Familia Perfecta*
• 9-10PM—Al Otro Lado del Muro*
• 10-11PM—Enemigo Intimo*

*THURSDAY April 26th ALL PRIMETIME SHOWS PREEMPTED for Premios Billboard

Everyone is welcome to join in the conversation.  Since discussions of all the Telemundo novelas share the same page, please remember to put the name of the telenovela you're referring to at the top of your post, so readers can easily find the conversations they're looking for.

By common agreement, this group DOES NOT discuss previews, trailers, or any other plot information not found in a current or past episode of the current production. Spoilers WILL be removed by the admin. This includes reference to earlier productions of the story, and even the original novel. Thanks for your cooperation!

Labels: enemigo, familia, lado, telemundo

Welcome to Page #1 (Monday edition) of the Telemundo y Más page, issued twice a week: Mondays and Thursdays at 8:00 PM.

Here are the current telenovelas (all times are Eastern Daylight Time):

• 8-9PM—Mi Familia Perfecta*
• 9-10PM—Al Otro Lado del Muro*
• 10-11PM—Enemigo Intimo*

*THURSDAY April 26th ALL PRIMETIME SHOWS PREEMPTED for Premios Billboard

Everyone is welcome to join in the conversation.  Since discussions of all the Telemundo novelas share the same page, please remember to put the name of the telenovela you're referring to at the top of your post, so readers can easily find the conversations they're looking for.

By common agreement, this group DOES NOT discuss previews, trailers, or any other plot information not found in a current or past episode of the current production. Spoilers WILL be removed by the admin. This includes reference to earlier productions of the story, and even the original novel. Thanks for your cooperation!

Labels: enemigo, familia, lado, telemundo

TELEMUNDO WEEKEND EDITION (continuación)

Here's Page 2 for the week.  The current evening telenovelas are as follows (all times are Eastern Daylight Time):

• 8-9PM—Mi familia perfecta
• 9-10PM—Al otro lado del muro
• 10-11PM—Enemigo íntimo

Everyone is welcome to join in the conversation.  Since discussions of all the Telemundo novelas share the same page, please remember to put the name of the telenovela you're referring to at the top of your post, so readers can easily find the conversations they're looking for.

By common agreement, this group DOES NOT discuss previews, trailers, or any other plot information not found in a current or past episode of the current production. Spoilers WILL be removed by the admin. This includes reference to earlier productions of the story, and even the original novel. Thanks for your cooperation!

Labels: enemigo, familia, lado, telemundo

Welcome to Page #1 (Monday edition) of the Telemundo y Más page, issued twice a week: Mondays and Thursdays at 8:00 PM.

Here are the current evening telenovelas (all times are Eastern Daylight Time):

• 8-9PM—Mi familia perfecta
• 9-10PM—Al otro lado del muro
• 10-11PM—Enemigo íntimo

Everyone is welcome to join in the conversation.  Since discussions of all the Telemundo novelas share the same page, please remember to put the name of the telenovela you're referring to at the top of your post, so readers can easily find the conversations they're looking for.

By common agreement, this group DOES NOT discuss previews, trailers, or any other plot information not found in a current or past episode of the current production. Spoilers WILL be removed by the admin. This includes reference to earlier productions of the story, and even the original novel. Thanks for your cooperation!

Labels: enemigo, familia, lado, telemundo

TELEMUNDO WEEKEND EDITION (continuación)

Here's Page 2 for the week.  The current telenovelas are as follows (all times are Eastern Daylight Time):

• 8-9PM—Mi Familia Perfecta *NEW*
• 9-10PM—Al Otro Lado del Muro
• 10-11PM—Enemigo Intimo

Everyone is welcome to join in the conversation.  Since discussions of all the Telemundo novelas share the same page, please remember to put the name of the telenovela you're referring to at the top of your post, so readers can easily find the conversations they're looking for.

By common agreement, this group DOES NOT discuss previews, trailers, or any other plot information not found in a current or past episode of the current production. Spoilers WILL be removed by the admin. This includes reference to earlier productions of the story, and even the original novel. Thanks for your cooperation!

Labels: enemigo, familia, lado, telemundo

Welcome to Page #1 (Monday edition) of the Telemundo y Más page, issued twice a week: Mondays and Thursdays at 8:00 PM.

Here are the current telenovelas (all times are Eastern Daylight Time):

• 8-9PM—Mi Familia Perfecta *NEW*
• 9-10PM—Al Otro Lado del Muro
• 10-11PM—Enemigo Intimo

Everyone is welcome to join in the conversation.  Since discussions of all the Telemundo novelas share the same page, please remember to put the name of the telenovela you're referring to at the top of your post, so readers can easily find the conversations they're looking for.

By common agreement, this group DOES NOT discuss previews, trailers, or any other plot information not found in a current or past episode of the current production. Spoilers WILL be removed by the admin. This includes reference to earlier productions of the story, and even the original novel. Thanks for your cooperation!

Labels: enemigo, familia, lado, telemundo

One of the things inciting constant comment here is the fashion felonies committed by many female characters in novelas (or by the fashion consultants for the shows).  It seems that femme fatale rivals and villanas are the biggest offenders, although heroines can be guilty, too.  For our purposes today we will cover the villanas, particularly since we have such a stunning example in our current prime time.

Read more »

Labels: abismo, amor, familia, no-podia, robo, telenovelas, triunfo, weekend

We don't get enough animals in telenovelas that are characters.  We saw many prize bulls [Salud!] in Amor Bravio, horses in others, but rarely do these animals have names or enough screen time.  Animals are such big parts of many of our lives it's hard to believe that more novela characters don't have pets.  The mascotas in novelas, though, are often amusing and endearing.

In El Cuerpo del Deseo, the hero had a dog who was smart enough to spot his master after his spirit changed bodies (Dog may actually be star Mario Cimarro's dog):


Cuando Me Enamoro had a beautiful horse named Gitana that was much beloved by the heroine:
Read more »

Labels: Amores, bravio, Cuando, cuerpo, eva, familia, Fuego, Fuerza, Indomable, Manda, QBA, telenovelas, weekend

Read more »

Labels: abismo, Alborada, familia, Pasion, salvaje, telenovelas, weekend

I took over from Ez as the last hour rolled around. I gotta say, I really liked this telenovela until they started cramming ten hours a week down our throats. I think it was disrespectful to the show and to the viewers. Anyway here goes!

Pina and Sebas, post-wedding, feeding each other. Is it cake? Ez thinks it's ravioli. Not very effective food porn, not appetizing in slow motion. Ez thinks Pina dropped her spit-covered straberry back on her plate.

Phew, it's the next day, Tomas and Lupita are back in the chapel. Lupe is going to confess something... Since Tomas hasn't had sex with her he just says he hopes she isn't pregnant - BUT HE'LL SUPPORT HER NO MATTER WHAT. Hah, hah, she just wants to confess looovvvve. FF>

It's the fifth or sixth night of the full moon, but of course as we know there is always a full moon in Mexico. Usually I skip all the scenes with the babies but they're getting baptised so I watch. Pancho tells a joke about baptism but I was talking so I missed it. Was it funny?

Who is that kissing Adoracion at the baptism? Pascualito? He says he'll marry Adoracion and make her happy. The mama approves.

Pepe makes an adorable speech about llloooove to his preggers Sirena.

Ezra will attest that I predicted this next scene last night. Vince and his newly-adopted dog and incredibly bushy beard walk along the highway. He remembers all the love that's been offered to him over the years and cries. Pancho leaves the baptism to go fetch Don Octavio. I predicted that Vince would end up on the very same bridge Dona Fer was going to jump off at the beginning of this novela. I predicted this yesterday!!! There he is! Reviewing mentally all his disgraces. And there's Pancho, out of his lurid blue advertising-mobile, staring up at Vince on the railing! Commercial!

Pancho tries to talk him down. Even though Vince tried to kill him, he doesn't hate him. Pancho says it's alcohol that's been the problem. Vince says it's alcohol that takes away the pain of a mediocre life. "I lost my dignity and my only son. I don't want to start again. I'm tired of living."

Pancho's phone rings, it's Rebeca, but he doesn't answer. Now here comes the priest and Pancho isnt here! And here comes Candy in the nun-mobile with all her new sisters.

Back to the bridge. "Let's talk as we've never talked, like cousins. I know you have goodness in your heart. And Freddy needs you." "He said I don't deserve his love. It's true.  I tried to destroy everyone. I want you to know I've always envied you. You had no advantages but you were always in a good humor, intelligent, you have an incredible family. I can't enjoy life the way you do. I've lost too much." "Iracheta, I lost my wife when Temo was born, my parents died, Dona Fer died, but no matter, we need to go forward. Don't you want to see your grandchildren running all over the place? You can be near your son." "I want to die! But before I die I want to ask your pardon." Vince drops. Commercial.

Vince, what a aguafiesta! First he wrecks Pina's wedding, then he wrecks this boring baptism. What a diva, what a drama queen.

Back to the baptism. Pancho and Don Octavio show up at the last minute, the impatient priest says we can begin, Pancho says no we can't. "Can we have one more godfather?" And here's Vince? All cleaned up and showered and in a brand new suit after he just fell off the bridge? And sober? That was very very quick!

Boring baptism accompanied by Candy and her nun friends singing a flaccid pop song. Candy and the new improved Vince make goony eyes at each other.

It turns out that, just like with Fer, as Vince plumged to his death Pancho grabbed his hand at the last minute. But dangling there, Vince still wasn't convinced. "Cousin! Freddy doesn't deserve the sadness he'll feel. Do it for Pollis!" Finally Vince agrees not to die and lets himself be pulled up. The two of them sit exhausted on the bridge. Pancho invited him to the baptism but after a shower: "You smell bad, like sulphur and an apache calzone." ??

Candy is about to get into the nunmobile to go back to the convent but Vince runs after her. Her friend says "don't flee happiness" and the van leaves without her. Vince says: "Your brother saved my life. They both pardoned me. You look like a virgin. Do you forgive me too?" Yes she does. He asks if they could try again. She takes off her wimple. They kiss. "Let's go, anywhere you want!" Candy, noooooooo!!!

As they hug he feels a prick - it's one of Violeta's poison rings. But he doesn't die. Then Octavio says he wants to live with them all despite his Alzheimer's. Huge bear hug.

Back home, Chela is crying. Enzo asks why. Personally I think she's overstimulated and needs a nap. She says they're tears of happiness. Then the cast gets on stage before a crowd of regular Mexicans and we hear the theme song one last time. FF> and out!

Labels: familia

Well friends, here we are! The final episode begins with a tiresome hour of replays, which I did not feel guilty about skipping.

Violenta preps her goons for a little home invasion. They get the drop on the Lopez' police detail, tie them up with cheap packing tape and proceed to crash the Lopez family gathering. When they get in, they tie up the maid with the same tape, and Violeta has her men collect everyone's phones. Pancho is funny when it's turn - he just pulls one crumpled kleenex after another out of his pocket!

Wicked-Schizo-Amazon-Barbie wants Pancho to decide which Lopez will die first. But before this evil scheme can play itself out, she hears one of the upstairs babies on the monitor... She threatens everyone, leaves the rest of the family downstairs with Samuel (Flunkie #1), and takes Rebe and Flunkie #2 upstairs to the nursery. She seizes the nearest baby and begins to shake it menacingly, but she has a moment of doubt snaps back into only-slightly-crazy Amazon Barbie... the two barbies struggle inside her head, and Rebe gets the baby back. Then bad-mamazon comes back and grabs the other baby.

Downstairs, Ana tries to bribe the mercenaries, buying the boys enough time to punch them into submission. They all grab guns and rush upstairs, sneaking around like secret agents or something. Pancho sneaks into the nursery and disarms the last guard. Then he kicks the gun away, but it goes off! That's what he gets for trying to act like Bond. Violenta inches towards the window and raises the baby girl. Amusingly, she doesn't actually get the baby to the window. She's holding the baby 5 feet up (maybe more, given those heels) and everyone is terrified. Monica gets in a tearful plea, from one "mother to another," telling her that time in Paris was unforgettable(yeah, getting a bad hairdo while your mom buys poison, what great time that must have been!). Nonetheless, Violeta gives up the baby and hugs her daughter.

Tomas leads a team of cops to the casa Lopez (it seems like he's in charge of absolutely everything the police do...), and arrests Violeta, who is cradling an imaginary baby. Tomas says she had seduced a French scientist to get the poison, and now she will spend the rest of her days locked up. She says "I doubt it, siempre salgo con lo mio." And poisons herself.

Enzo is much relieved to hear his health is better, and we get another PSA about eating less fat. Enzo gets the doctor to say that sex is perfectly OK. Chela is embarrassed. Hahaha. In the bedroom, Chela looks a little nervous as Enzo swings on a vine in a loincloth and beats his chest.

Arnold "baby" gets into Ray's car for their date. Basically, the story is that he's confused. I'll say! Going from closeted-sex (tee-hee) with Barbs to a dude with a purple silk scarf around his neck in just a few short episodes... Then he is treated to a weird and awful karaoke serenade at this gay bar/club/restaurant. This is basically all the closure we get on Arnold in this finale.

Pina has recovered completely and is busily flipping a few shits about her wedding. See, her wedding planner has been preoccupied lately. Wonder why?

Tomas, now in his capacity as head-of-missing-persons-department (man, they fast-tracked him, from prisoner to boss of police in a few months), lets Freddy know that Vins has not been spotted. They found the car but not the guy.

Cut to a park where Vins appears to have stolen an outfit from a homeless man (as in, not what he was wearing when his bender began) and grown 2 inches of beard overnight. He now has a following of two filthy dogs.

Candi is ready to be a nun, she just has one great work left to do. Sister Superior (rolling her eyes at Candi's zeal) sends her off in a van to put blankets on homeless guys in a park. She happens to be putting a blanket on Vins and begins to recognize him. He looks up and sees an angel. "I'm dead, you're an angel." She thinks she's crazy and runs away to the convent.

Adoracion won't leave Sebs and Pina alone. She's enamored of the two, particularly Sebastian, and won't leave them in peace. He gives in and lets her see pictures of the wedding plan.

Also, has anyone read all of the things on Ado's "o my go" shirt?

Tomas proposes to Lupita. These proposal scenes are really all starting to seem the same.

Fred is worrying about Vins, but Pina thinks Vins just used his money to disappear.

There've been so many weddings in this show that they skip the lead up and jump right to the chase: all of a sudden, an awesome-looking Pina is walking down the aisle with Sebastian and getting interrupted by Vicente (who read about the wedding in the newspaper he was using as a blanket.

Needless to say, no one is happy to see him. Sebastian calls him "piltrafa" (a scrap, a skinny piece of meat that is little more than skin). Someone asks where he'd been and he says "I went on vacation in the street." Says Pancho: "Why don't you go home, clean up, and go to some institution that can help you." "Your beard is dirtier than your clothes." "It's all your fault, Pancho." "I'll go, but give me back my bottle!" He dissolves into a sobbing puddle of nenenenes...

Once he leaves, they try to get the wedding back on track.The judge, in a trendy cap, tries to get out a song, but everyone has had enough nonsense and they finish the wedding.

Melly's back, and the dog is in a tux! Sickening sappiness! I barf a little when the dogs start talking.

But Vins didn't go to Rehab! He went back to the park and the boozing. Guess someone should have kept an eye on him.

Labels: familia

Yes folks, we've reached the penultimo of the ultimos capitulos, and things are getting real.

The curtains rise on Tomas fruitlessly searching Violeta's place for the poison, but finding only a safe full of wadded-up and crumpled bills. Bitter words fly between the two.

Meanwhile, Pancho is busily turning the other cheek and attempting to offer his assistance to a be-frazzled Vins. His outfit is rumpled, he needs a shave, and he's pounding down his "mi whiskis" like there's no tomorrow. Pancho chides the man for hiding in alcohol, and Vins, who looks like a total train-wreck, protests that this way he still retains a shred of dignity. Sorry bro, that ship has sailed. As if *trying* to separate himself from that last shard of dignity, Vins goes on to blame everything that has gone wrong since the novela started on Fernanda and Pancho. If *he'd* been president, he would still be happily married to Pina (as if), and everything would've been just peachy. Pancho says there's still time to change. Vins smashes his whiski glass in anger (the first of several, this episode), Pancho exits, and Vins wonders aloud whether Pancho had a point.

Pina is gushing to Arnie about all the luscious foreign fabrics that she will include in her wedding (it's like nobody, not even the writers, believes he's straight) when Raymondo appears, begging a word with his beloved Mr. Flowers. He admits to giving Arnold all those gifts and kisses him on the cheek. Arnie looks shocked, and that's all we get on this subplot for today. My mom made a good point, that usually the last day of a novela has lots of weddings, but most of the characters are married already. Maybe Arnie and Raymondo will tie the knot tomorrow and beef up the wedding count...

Monica and Pepe go to Chela and Rebe, respectively. Both are spilling the beans about Moni's pregnancy, but Monica is teary-eyed and Pepe is ecstatic! Apparently, Monica is thinking about an abortion, and both conversations revolve around this reality. Both women are holding babies, which I thought was a funny counterpoint to the abortion discussion. Rebe says that Pepe shouldn't tell his girl what to do, but rather support her in everything.

Pancho takes his Vins worries to Pancho, and she is rather horrified to hear that her ex would rather die than see her marry Sebastian.

Fred and Ana are enjoying their honeymoon (I guess they got over that whole I-only-got-close-to-you-to-find-evidence-your-dad-is-a-criminal thing pretty quickly), but Pancho calls to tell Fred what bad shape Vice is in and ask him to come back and talk to him. Then Pancho goes to the convent to see if he can talk Candi out of the whole nun thing (Candi: "I had to come here to get peace and think and relax and sort out my life." Pancho: "couldn't you do that in Hawaii?"). Failing that, he tells her what bad shape her ex is in and begs her to come try to redeem him somehow. She gets permission to leave the convent to go help the family (Sister superior is kind of funny - "so.... you will leave the nunnery to go to the guy who made you so miserable you came here? really?"). Fred tries to get his Dad (who is muttering about the Lopez and their "labyrinth of mediocrity") to at least stop drinking and let him help. Vins is spiteful and tells him he *was* his father but no longer. Fred doesn't give up, works up some tears, and tells vins that he used to be his idol. We'll fight together, pops. They are going to go to rehab in the morning, I think. Most of the Lopez kids come up to gawp at Monica and cheer about the baby on the way (she decided against the abortion). I see that Temo has FINALLY combed his hair. Enzo gets a little wacko/manic when he hears about the baby. Maybe he's getting crazier because Chela won't sleep with him. Meanwhile (sorry for the repetition, but what better word is there for a novela transition?), Violeta's evil-voice-in-her-head is getting a little more insistent, and it congratulates her for her plan to hurt Tomas' wife. For his part, Tomas is with the cops and the body of Violeta's latest victim, who I think is the hapless dude who told crazy Amazon barbie where to find Lupita. Then there is a really weird scene with Chacho, who appears to have won a blue car. Pancho is happy for him, there's some awkwardness about witnesses and signing for the car, and then Chacho honks and drives off into the sunset. Talk about random, yeah?

Pancho drops Lupita off at la guarderia, but sees Violeta going after her. Pancho leaps into action, running out and sending everyone away so he can have a little confrontation with crazy-babe. For her part, she struggles with her inner eviler-self (who wants to kill Pancho) and satisfies herself with merely threatening him and storming off. Tomas shows up with some cops to console Lupita. They kiss, and Pancho covers his eyes.

The next morning, Vins sees Pina's engagement announcement in the paper, smashes another whiski glass, and sets off to do something bad.

Pina borrows Sebastian's Avon car for her ride home (I wonder if a manly-man like Sebastian was embarrassed about driving a car with a huge cosmetics logo on the hood?). Thinking it's Sebastian in the car, an already-drunk Vins gives chase! Neither of them is driving particularly safely; she's texting and he's smashed. He rams her off the road and her car tumbles down the hill, lands upside-down, and bursts into flames (well, a little bit of flames)!!!!!

Pina survives (and even crawls out of the car), but she's a mess. The makeup team did a doozy of a job here, with blood all over her face and goozing out of her mouth. There's a quick cut to Vins' car at the top of the hill, and then Pina's car *really* explodes. There's some needless suspense here drawn out over a commercial break, but what happened is that Vins realized what he'd done, dragged her clear of the wreck (I laughed when he saw her, oozing blood and battered, and asked "are you ok?"), bawled over her for a bit, and then called the ambulance.

Fred and Candi both arrive at Vins' house to save him from himself (on Pancho's urging), to find it empty. They see the shattered glass and the newspaper open to the engagement page and rush off to get Pancho. They all pile into La Burra and head off in search of Pina. They find a morose Vins and yell at him. Fred is the maddest, but Vins just tells him he's not worth the waste of his son's time. Fred tells his Dad that he will never ever ever forgive him for this. The gang (except Vins) head off for some more hospital scenes.

Pina is clearly getting tired of people asking her if she's ok. When Ana asks, Pina says sarcastically "supers bien." Glad she kept her sense of humor.

At his place, Pepe finds a mysterious note from Moni, explaining that she's left to do something important for her family. In fact, she has gone to barbie's den, to tell her to leave everyone alone. It's funny, because Monica doesn't even come up to her Amazon mom's shoulder. She doesn't have much luck with the "please leave me alone" gambit, and her mom just says that she's sick of all those nacos, so Monica pulls the pregnancy card. She doesn't get good results. Violeta tells her she should abort it, just like Violeta had tried to do to Monica. "I didn't want you, and I don't want a grandson." But Monica doesn't lose it until her mom insults Enzo. Then she slaps her mom, who seems to smack her with a wine glass. Great chat, mom! Pancho and Enzo arrive and are, in turn, insulted: "vulgarcitos." Monica lets them know that Violeta has already admitted to two murders. Pancho: "who else?" After they leave, her evil voice says "they'll all die." Does she even have enough poison?

One of the gags of this episode is that, whenever someone sees Candi in a habit, they freak out and ask REALLY? Ana now tries to talk her aunt out of it, to no avail.

Pina, on her hospital bed, admits to Fred that she has some regrets. She tells her son how proud she is of him for staying strong even when he disagreed with her (like with Ana, and when he sticks up for his dad).

Speaking of the man who put the VICE in Vicente, he's in baaaad shape. He's swilling cheap tequila and swerving back and forth in his Mercedes. He stops the car in the middle of the door, exits, and stumbles to a halt in some random neighborhood. He slumps against a concrete wall and starts shivering. A dog trots up and--get this--he hugs it! Some dude walking by sees the drunk hugging a dog and drops a coin by Vins' feet. Pathetic.

At the hospital, Pina is back on her feet. She sure has bounced back fast, given how recently she was oozing pints of blood out of her mouth alone. Pancho: You look great... ready for the triathlon? Pina: more like a bubble bath.

Tomas, on the line with interpol, has discovered that the poison is - duh duh DUH!- French. His counterparts across the pond will begin searching for the person who made it.

Meanwhile (there it is again), Violeta is scheming. She delivers the final words of the episode: Tonight will be *unforgettable*!

Labels: familia

Labels: familia

Part One: The Bachelorette, Toluca Edition

Scenes consolidated for narrative convenience.

Ana awaits the two finalists in this year's tiresome edition of "The Bachelorette: Toluca." Lupita, our host, explains that she told each of the guys to give it their best shot because it never, ever occurs to anyone on these shows to say "Hey, this is making me miserable, I think rather than honor some arbitrary and imaginary deadline I just won't pick anyone for now."

Fred and Adrián have a calm conversation outside with no punching. No new information. They agree to let Ana decide.

Fred will go first. Chucha excitedly announces his arrival. (Ana fusses over her appearance, which strikes me funny. I think she should frump herself up as much as possible and see how they react. Fred already loved her when she was still in dungarees. Adrián didn't meet her till later. But anyway.) Fred accepts her reason for deceiving him to get her dad out of jail. He reviews all the ways in which he's changed. He loves her and he's ready to be with her for the rest of his life and have a family with her. He leaves the house looking uncertain, and with no rose. Next!

Adrián opens with "How'd it go with Fred?" BZZZZZT FAIL!! Ana asks if that's what he wants to talk about. No, he wants to talk about how great she is and how much better his life is with her in it. He loves her and he's ready to be with her for the rest of his life and have kids with her. He leaves the house looking pleased with himself, but with no rose.

Ana agonizes over her choice with Lupita. Yawn. Lupita is the most incredible trouper. I would have told Ana to find a new rehash buddy a long time ago.

Vice is feeling sorry for himself. Enzo wants him to get his head out of the oven. He tries to get Vice to stop drinking. Vice is stubborn. He blurts that Violeta is a killer. Then he backpedals and says no, she didn't kill, it's just that she's crazy and she could kill. Enzo wants to know WHO could she kill? "That's not the problem," Vice protests, and changes the subject. The problem is that he's alone and his life is a disaster. Enzo tells him he's not alone; Vice kicks him out and continues drinking.

Enzo goes home to Chela. She doesn't want to hear about Vice. She worries about his health. He nicely asks her to stop acting like she's his mom.

Enzo meets with Fred to tell him about his talk with Vice, killer comments and all. Vice said Fred was the only light in his life; maybe Fred can help.

So Fred goes to Vice and says he's worried and that Vice shouldn't drink so much. Vice says he's fine and Violeta isn't a killer, she's just loca. He tells Fred he's divorcing Candy because of Violeta. He can't ever seem to have just one woman in his life. He needs the adrenaline of a fling. Honestly, he loved Candy, but he's never loved anyone as much as he loved Pina. And why'd he leave her? Because he's an imbécil. Fred asks if he wants Pina back.

Pina is whisked away by Sebastián on a magical mystery tour to the countryside. He asks if she's afraid of heights. She's getting antsy about all the secrecy.

There's a hot air balloon that says "PINA TE AMO" on the side. Hmmm, whatever could be happening? She's nervous about going up, but the scenery is beautiful. Seb has thought of everything: music, champagne, and a nice sparkly ring. Yes, this is what he's been hiding from her. CAREFUL DON'T DROP THE RING!! She's amused that everyone else was in on the secret. YES to Sebastián's proposal, and let's get down from here NOW!!

As they're arriving home, she tells him the whole scheme was way more than necessary. Ado asks some coy questions. Pina pretends to be angry with her for keeping the secret. Finally she reveals that she did say yes to the proposal. Ado hits her head on a lamp and passes out. Seb revives her. She hugs both of them. (Maybe she enjoys Sebastián's embrace a little too much.)

Mónica and Pepe look at a new apartment. He agrees to hire a "girl" so they won't have the trouble they did last time. (Wait, wasn't he just fired? How can he afford a nice apartment AND a maid?) But he wants a dog.

Pancho and Rebeca have arrived in New York. Pancho is overwhelmed... and cold.

It turns out they're not at Avon World HQ, which is in Manhattan. They're at Avon Global Research & Development, in Suffern, NY. Nervous Pancho makes random comments in English to their guide, Sofía, who clearly isn't used to such goofiness. The executives at the meeting are a bit confused by him too, but try to be charmed. Then this Wilson guy shows up to start the meeting. Rebeca helps Pancho with his manners. I don't think Pancho likes the looks of this Wilson fellow, who apparently doesn't speak Spanish. Wilson presents them with their Flame award of excellence for Avon Mexico. Funny, it looks like a plaque to me. When he gathers Pancho into a congratulatory embrace, Pancho hisses to him in Spanish that Rebeca is HIS hot wife.

They tour a factory and Pancho wants to get frisky with Rebeca right there. Then the two take in the sights of New York; but really, all they see is each other.

Candy tells the Mother Superior that she's given it a lot of thought and she really wants to be a nun. Mother S tells her you don't join (or wear) an outfit like the clergy just to hide from your worldly problems. You need to have the calling. It's a long process. You have to give up worldly goods. "Where do I sign?" Candy replies.

Tomás and his partner are at the bar where young hacker Don David was last seen. (So Tom is now a homicide detective in addition to SWAT? Or did he transfer?) The bartender knew the kid and is shocked to hear that he was killed. Yes, he remembers the woman he left with. She had everyone's attention as soon as she came into the room. (Not only is she hard to miss on account of being so tall, but she was wearing a bright pink dress besides. Does she think her magic earrings make her invisible?) She went right up to the kid and they left soon afterwards. The bartender agrees to go to the police station as soon as he gets off work.

Next day.

Ana wakes Lupita. (Ana didn't sleep all night, so why should anyone else get their rest either?) She's decided. Whoopiee. Ana calls Pancho and Rebe (who are enjoying a hansom cab ride in Central Park) to tell them her choice. We don't get to hear who it is. Pancho and Rebe are coming home tonight.

Adrián tells himself that he'll be the lucky guy. (He's wearing a suit just to stand around in his hotel room.) He calls his daughters and tells them he's still waiting but he's the happiest guy in the world.

Pina tells Fred (who told himself in the hallway that he'll be the lucky guy) that she's marrying Sebastián before he has a chance to hint around about Vice wanting her back. He tells her that Vice is a mess, he's divorcing Candy, and there are things that he's hiding from Fred. Pina doesn't want Vice dragging Fred down. Fred finds it hard to believe he's the child of a broken home. When he gets married, he'll fight to make sure it's for life. (Maybe he shouldn't marry a flake, then.) Pina is proud of him. Fred promises he won't get in the way of her marrying Sebastián.

Pancho and Rebeca talk about the twins' baptism. To avoid fighting over it, he'll pick Julio's and she'll pick Ana-G's. They pause to admire the Statue of Liberty, then go back to smooching.

The bartender works with the sketch artist to come up with drawing that is so vague, it could be Mónica or any other person with a chin-length bob as well as Violeta. But I guess the fact that the bartender already said she's six feet tall ought to narrow it down a bit too.


Part Two: Magical Mystery Wedding

Considerably less consolidated due to faster action!

Vice receives a visit from Violeta in his office. "I'm doing okay, considering I'm in a relationship with a murderer!" Violeta complains that Pepe's still nosing around her daughter. Moni deserves better. Violeta will have to intervene!

Ana calls Fred. "Let's meet." She doesn't want to do this over the phone. Pancho and Rebeca come back from New York and go straight to the nursery. Ana stays behind to call Adrián.

Pancho shows off his Flame which still looks like a plaque to me. Temo asks, "What did you bring me?" He's old enough to have better manners. Pancho pretends he didn't bring anything, but no, he brought lots of stuff. Ha ha ha. Ana returns from her phone calls and assures Pancho she's sure of her decision. He's sad she'll leave him, but gives his blessing.

Pepe and Moni have been summoned downstairs to see Vice. In short:

Vice: Violeta is dangerous.
Moni: Naw, she's just sick.
Vice: Pepe is in danger.
Moni: You're exaggerating.
Vice: He could die.
Moni: Are you sure?
Vice: I've done my duty. Do what you like. I just don't want any more deaths.
Moni: Wut? That's crazy!
Vice: I can't say any more. Don't take any wooden nickels, kids!

Pepe and Moni tell Pancho and Rebeca. Nobody is 100% sure that Vice is wrong about Violeta. Moni considers calling her mother, but is dissuaded. But Violeta wouldn't hurt her too... or would she?

Vice goes to Enzo and Chela's. Chela was just telling Enzo this pregnancy hasn't been so bad. Less nausea. Vice's arrival kinda spoils her good mood. She reads him the riot act for putting Pancho in jail and kicks him out. Enzo agrees to take Vice outside. Chela tells Concepción not to let him in ever again.

Vice, increasingly unhinged, babbles. Terror and alcohol have rendered him somewhat incoherent. He can't turn Violeta in. He won't explain why, but says he's "involved" regardless. She "knows things." Enzo tries to understand. Vice freaks out and wants to leave.

Next day.

Candy is all nunned up. Mother Superior is surprised she hasn't yet told her family of her plan to join the clergy. They're going to find out sooner or later and she won't be able to get out much.

Ana and Lupita plan the wedding and visit the church. They wonder where Candy is. She's supposed to be Ana's maid of honor and such.

Vice goes to Pina's office and invites her to dinner. He wants to talk. Not about work, but about "us." Pina takes great pains to assure him that they are DONE and there is no "us." She's moved on. Vice whines about Sebastián. Pina says, in short, "Fred told me you were a wreck, but ye gods!" "You're all I have left in my life," Vice pleads. Pina shows off her ring to drive the point home. She says, in far more words, "you suck, please go away." He gets handsy with her.

Pancho shows up just in time and tells Vice to pick on someone his own size. He reminds Vice that he hasn't forgotten his week in the joint, then kicks him out.

Pina explains that Vice is upset she's getting married; he had told her she's the most important thing in his life. Suddenly, they both realize that Sebastián is probably in trouble.

Oh yes he is. Pina calls Security. (Just think, Tom could have had a slightly interesting day at Avon.) Vice is shaking Sebastián. S is brave, but Vice is loco. Pancho comes in and tells Vice he's lost Pina forever. He won't calm down.

Security arrives. Pancho tells them not to be rough with this executive. Vice makes defiant noises and gestures, but lets them escort him out. Pancho comments that he doesn't smell the sulfur.

WEDDING DAY!

How many weddings is this, now?

Ana shows off her wedding gown to Pancho and the Rebecas. (Doña Rebe says she looks so great she'll give the groom a heart attack; no one even blinks at this, but I'm glad Lupita didn't hear it.) Pancho gets teary-eyed. Ana hints that she's pregnant. Ha ha! Just kidding! Man, that joke never gets old! He tears up some more, offers his own blessing and that of her mother and grandmother, and calls up the family to go the church.

Adrián is putting on formal wedding attire. Fred is still in his robe and his combing his hair slowly and deliberately. Neither looks very happy. Nervous? Angry? Sad?

Pancho and Ana are at the church. Where's La Burra? And where's Ana's HEMLINE?? Doesn't this church have a dress code? Like, requiring the bride to wear something? Anyway, Pancho is remembering the day Lupita got married, and he wanted to run far away with her and leave everyone behind. He feels the same way now. (Again, I can't believe he's talking about Lupita's wedding. That's the last thing Ana needs to have on her mind.) They cry. He tells her it's the happiest day of her life. The bells are ringing. Time to go in!

Everyone is watches as Pancho leads Ana to the altar and hands her off to the groom. (Candy is there in an orange dress with a moderate cleavage display and less jewelry than usual.)

At first, all we see of the groom is his hand, then Ana's smiling face. Finally we pan back to his face, and it's Freddy. Phew!

Then Adrián comes in and stands there, halfway down the aisle, for a long time. Then he takes a seat, followed by his daughters. Fred turns around a moment later, wondering where his father is.

Except for the long, boring flashbacks to Ana's breakup with Adrián, this ceremony goes off without a hitch (besides the marital hitching, of course).

So, about the flashback to the breakup. She tells him he's a great guy, but. That's enough for Adrián. He doesn't want to hear any more, but she insists. She acknowledges that he's never let her down and this is really going to hurt; but she's marrying Freddie. He wants to know why. Basically, it's that Fred got to her first and he's the love of her life. He was a jackass for a while, but it turned out okay.

All Adrián wants to know is if it's because of his daughters. She says no. It's just that the heart doesn't take orders. They're going in different directions and she doesn't want to make a decision she'll regret later. He weeps manfully and wishes Ana and Fred well.

So, back to the ceremony. I think the priest had better hurry up because they're already rubbing noses and I don't how much longer they can wait for the kiss. Here it comes: They kiss. Nobody has a sudden attack of rigor mortis.

Speaking of which, Vice is at home with Violeta. He finishes his drink while she fixes his tie. Today's earrings remind me of Eeyore's tail. She drags him out of the room. Vice flings his whiskey glass over his shoulder and it shatters on the floor. We get a close-up of the broken glass. (Good thinking, Vice! Make it look like you put up a struggle!)

Outside the church, Pina and Pancho greet one another as co-in-laws. The newlyweds emerge to great applause. Doc Oc offers his lucid congratulations and advises them never to let any third parties break them up. Fred sadly observes that his father never showed up.

I don't know this band that's playing at the reception, but they're good. I like the accordion. Could do without all the bubbles, though - reminds me of the Lawrence Welk show.

Ana does a song. She's now wearing a puffy thing along the bottom of her dress, I guess so she doesn't flash everyone when she goes up on the stage. She sings that song she always does. A new song would have been nice for this occasion, but I guess she didn't have time to write one!

Violeta and Vice show up just after Ana finishes her song. Vice has already obtained a new drink. Violeta is complaining that only a Lopez would have the poor taste to hold a wedding reception at a disco. Pancho notices the smell of sulfur. Candy sees Vice and becomes agitated. Pancho and Rebe try to keep her from making a scene.

Vice makes a lame excuse to Fred for missing the ceremony. He feels God has forgotten him anyway.

Moni and Pepe notice Violeta. Pina asks Sebastián not to let Vice provoke him.

Violeta congratulates Fred and tells him that that soon she'll be related to him, too. She'll be like hismother.

Tom comes back from a phone call somewhere and stares bug-eyed at Violeta. "Who is that?" he asks, recalling the incredible likeness produced by the police sketch artist. Moni identifies her as her mother - Vicente's lover.

Next time:
Wild guess: Violeta acts like a jerk.

Labels: familia

Labels: familia

Sorry folks, but my internet is down, and I don't feel up to typing the whole thing on my phone... Tomorrow, then. But this show was a doozy!

Labels: familia

Well, things have certainly taken a turn for the worse for many of our heroes, but we are in the end times of "ultimos capitulos" and that is to be expected. In fact, the end is quite near. The final episode will air on MAY 23!

As usual, I couldn't really tell when the review of yesterday's episode ended and today's began. The first scene of interest to me was the shocking discovery that Vice has been sleeping with Monica's mom! After the two, ahem, finish, Vice lights up a cigarette and admits that he married Candi. Violeta is disappointed in his poor taste. Then he reveals that, despite having what he'd wanted for so long, he doesn't feel any satisfaction (between silly pecks of kisses). He is missing something, some kind of true emotion. Candi breaks up the psychology session when she calls to enquire about her husband's whereabouts.

In jail, Pancho is threatened (and indeed, strangled) by a bald prisoner named Tarzan. I didn't really catch the reference to gargoyles, but maybe it's another case of Pancho's use of Spanish (gárgola/garganta) referring to the throat being throttled. Fortunately, our hero gets out a word or two, and wins Tarzan over with a promise to protect the big man's family.

At Avon, Chacho thinks Sandra is depressed because of his faulty sperm, but it's actually something she is afraid to tell him about [as the viewers know, she saw the mysterious Don David but has been threatened and warned not to tell anyone].

Poor Doc Oc is finally losing his marbles. Pepe and la Sirenita bring him a cake, but he doesn't remember them at first. He is quite scattered, but they have a very sweet visit anyway. Later, at dinner, Monica mentions that she thinks he should have companionship. It is decided that Rebe's mom will go take care of the good doctor.

We get a split shot of Rebe and Pancho each trying to sleep without the other. Rebe is snuggling her stuffed Pancho. How sweet!

Vice's efforts to sneak in after his escapade are for naught, as Candi finds a lipstick-print (labial) on her hubby's shirt (I must have missed the episode where this dummy cancelled her divorce. why?) and proceeds to mildly flip out. He manages to shut her up with some dumb excuse about kissing a client on the cheek and the client missing and kissing his shirt instead of his face, but she takes the issue to Chela for further discussion.

Chela has been mostly relegated to baby duty since Enzo quit his job and the pair moved back to Mexico city. On a side note, these babies are pretty bad fakes. Their faces are visibly plastic, they never blink, and their bodies are stiff. Anyway, Chela is the voice of reason, and tries to talk some sense into stupid Candi. "He cheated on Pina, and now you think he's somehow different?"Then Chela busts out a phrase that I positively adore and I think my mom will to: she refers to Vins as a "burro sin mecate -" a donkey without a leash! As well we know, a donkey without a leash will make a beeline for the nearest succulent morsel.

Meanwhile, Ana has gone undercover to extract the truth about Pancho from Fred. She accidentally kissed him (I think it was yesterday), leading to a breakup with Adrian (who has no idea what her kissing Fred has to do with protecting her father). There are numerous scenes of her uneasily making out with Freddy.

With his Tarzan problem resolved, a friendly visit from Enzo (who has been having heart palpitations or something - will we have *another* heart attack in this show) and Temo, and hope of being released, Pancho is feeling a bit better. But the soggy-cigar-spewing dragon-lady of a directora has other plans. Her flunky, a skeevy-looking dude in a suit, comes with a guard to throw Pancho in a "calabozo," solitary confinement. It's basically a darkened closet made of shoddily-painted styrofoam (the rats chew through it with ease), but it's lonely and there's no food and little water. Pancho begins to joke around with the rats in a very familiar way. He tells one of them that he looks like Iracheta!

Vins keeps taking off work at midday to rendezvous with Violeta. Seriously, couldn't they have found someone for the job of president who would actually do some work? Oh yeah, no one works in telenovela white-collar offices. Anyway, at their latest meeting, he boasts about what he did to Pancho but whines about "Señor Don David's" extortion. Violeta, though, has a plan to unmask the little devil.

Pancho's lawyer, at the mansion, has clearly been fed a line. He tells the family that Pancho was thrown in solitary for his involvement in a fight.

Enzo has been reviewing security footage from before the cameras went down, and he has zeroed in on the presence of a strangely smiley-faced man interacting with Sandra in the final moments. Somehow, he manages to get the face unobscured, and shows what he found to the ladies. They are impressed.

Beca comes to the jail to yell at la directora, who unleashes all kinds of dragon lady crankiness on her. Basically the woman is frustrated that not everyone treats her like a god (and she says as much). The cigar-sucking-and-spewing is getting really gross. Maybe she just needs some lovin'. Who on the show could we set her up with? Vicente?

Anselmo (the sympathetic guard) sneaks Pancho a decent meal, which he shares with his rodent buddies.  Then the directora busts in, yells at Pancho, and has her suit-wearing flunky (probably the only person who gives her the respect she desires) spray him with a hose.

Labels: familia

Labels: familia